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quarterhouse Since: Dec, 1969
10/25/2011 12:29:58 •••

A Feast for Crows

The first three volumes of ASOIAF are among the finest works of fantasy; an epic canvas of feuds, magic, betrayal, love, warfare and frozen zombies. However our relationship gets a little awry in this, the fourth book. Here I'll summarise with minimal spoilers:

BRIENNE: The problem here is that we focus eight whole chapters on a knight's quest that we know from the get-go is a forlorn hope. Interesting stuff happens but not relevant stuff. The story cuts out just when it might be going somewhere.

CERSEI: A whole ten chapters is given to watching a queen lose her bearings. Interesting,yes,but by this point we have little empathy for this bitch(in heat). Mostly a window to see how other characters are getting on.

JAIME: He's a badass knight in search of a story. He finds it, but only near the end.

EDDARD: Whoops, my mistake.

SANSA: A teenage girl climbs down a down a mountain, when suddenly things get very interesting only to cut ou

GREYJOY: A royal pissing contest leads to a surprising development that won't happen until the next book.

BREASTS: Your need to read about breasts will be sated in every chapter.

MARTELL: A redundant character loses the head he should have been using. Whole plot rendered meaningless by a cripple with bedsores.

SAMWELL: Midget sex? Kinky. Incest? Agreeable. Samwell,even with his clothes on?.......

My main beef with this installment is that as soon as any storyline gets interesting,it ends. This book is more a warm-up, a trailer, an appetiser with god-forsaken raisins in it. It's not to the quality of the prior three but it's not Crossroads of Twilight either. It's dissapointing but nonetheless I'd buy the next one as soon as it comes out.

Owners Since: Sep, 2010
01/30/2011 00:00:00

The worst part is that aDwD isn't out yet...seriously, I would be able to put this book behind me if only the damned fifth book was out.

Phrederic Since: Jun, 2009
01/30/2011 00:00:00

This book is supposed to get all the boring shit out of the way so the next book can be really awesome, it's like being stuck at the top of a roller coaster right before the ride down.

"Whoa" Keanu Reeves
comodapoltrona Since: Dec, 1969
01/30/2011 00:00:00

I think you are far too kind to this pile of dung. AFFC is one of the worst books I've ever read.

Gweskoyen Since: Oct, 2010
02/08/2011 00:00:00

So incest is sexier for you than the normal sex of an overweight person? I hope you will some time in the future realize how screwed up you are.

150.212.50.228 Since: Dec, 1969
02/08/2011 00:00:00

There's nothing wrong with incest as long as you don't reproduce.

TheKingSlayer Since: Jan, 2011
02/11/2011 00:00:00

If AFFC is the worst book you have ever read then you have honestly not read many books. It was a slow read, but probably not the worst book ever written if you have read more than fifty books in your entire life.

150.212.50.120 Since: Dec, 1969
02/11/2011 00:00:00

Most people don't read more than 50 books in their lives, with the exception of children's books and academic books.

comodapoltrona Since: Dec, 1969
02/12/2011 00:00:00

I suppose if you read a lot of contemporary genre fiction then AFFC might look better. Myself, I try to avoid trash, but sometimes it gets through. AFFC was trash, fanboys need to deal with it.

Phrederic Since: Jun, 2009
02/13/2011 00:00:00

Trash? It was well written, it had some entertaining parts, was it up to the standards or Double R? No, but it still advanced the story...kinda. There were cool and awesome parts of the book.

People are really exaggerating how bad this book is, I've read much, much worse.

"Whoa" Keanu Reeves
TheKingSlayer Since: Jan, 2011
02/14/2011 00:00:00

I actually don't read a lot of genre fiction, let alone trashy books. Granted, I'm not saying AFFC was very good, but saying it's the worst book you ever read is a giant exaggeration. Then again, I don't know what books you have read in your life. Without a doubt, it's the worst book in the series and no one is going to deny that.

psycher7 Since: Feb, 2010
04/28/2011 00:00:00

Frankly I'd much rather read Crossroads of Twilight. In fact, after surviving the trainwreck-cum-freakshow known as Storm of Swords, I'd rather read the Yellow Pages... Now So S definitely WAS one of the worst books I've ever read, and certainly the one that pissed me off the most.

Philbert Since: Dec, 1969
04/28/2011 00:00:00

I agree that "A Feast For Crows" is the weakest of the published four and I hope that Martin gets the story back on track in the fifth one. I am not sure I'd call it trash and it certainly isn't the worst fantasy novel I've read (that would be "Wizard's First Rule") but it isn't good.

LaCapitana Since: May, 2010
06/05/2011 00:00:00

Yes, I think we could all overlook the annoying cliffhangers if Mr. Martin would write his books a little faster. I mean, the next book is going to focus on other characters completely- so we may not even see what happens to these characters until the SIXTH book!

We're everything brighter than even the sun
philipw Since: Sep, 2010
10/17/2011 00:00:00

I'm not cogent enough to write a full review, so let me just add in the comments that A Dance With Dragons has a similar Filler feel. Several old subplots where there was a great potential for awesomeness are drained from their awesomeness by Reality Ensueing. A new subplot is introduced with a Suspiciously Similar Substitute to somebody who isn't dead yet, probably because Martin couldn't decide which way to go with the old one. Despite a lot happening you don't feel like a lot has happened in the end - each character's development could be summarized in a sentence or two.

HandyHandel Since: Oct, 2011
10/25/2011 00:00:00

I don't think that either A Dance with Dragons or a Feast For Crows are great, but they are both good books. After reading ADWD, a lot of the PO Vs that were "superfluous" in AFFC made a lot more sense. We're really getting a feel for which way the series is going. They seem to serve the same purpose that AGOT served to ACOK and ASOS... in a word, setup. ADWD and AFFC had some incredibly satisfying moments, even if the aren't as good as the previous books. Here is how the books seem to be structured to me:

Part 1 -A Game of Thrones (setup) -A Clash of Kings (conflict (war of 5 kings)) -A Storm of Swords (conflict and resolve of conflict (Joff's death and Red Wedding)) Part 2 -A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragon (setup) -Winds of Winter (conflict (dragon invasion, wraith invasion, winter (duh)) -Dream of Spring (conflict and conflict resolve)

In other words the biggest problem with it all is that either A) the second conflict will be ridiculously complex or B) AFFC and ADWD took too long/put in too much set up. It's probably a combination of both.

And now I feel like a nut. Is anyone else looking forward as much to the next book as I am?

HandyHandel Since: Oct, 2011
10/25/2011 00:00:00

"There's nothing wrong with incest as long as you don't reproduce."

That's like saying "There's nothing wrong with bestiality as long as you don't reproduce."

I really hope you're a troll, because if you aren't *shudder*... just stay away from me. And your family members. Don't ever have children.

eveil Since: Jun, 2011
10/25/2011 00:00:00

"That's like saying "There's nothing wrong with bestiality as long as you don't reproduce."

I really hope you're a troll, because if you aren't *shudder*... just stay away from me. And your family members. Don't ever have children. "

Assuming no rape is involved, give one practical reason.

Oh wait you can't.

Oh, and I also guess you think anyone who defends homosexuality is gay too.

HandyHandel Since: Oct, 2011
10/25/2011 00:00:00

"Oh, and I also guess you think anyone who defends homosexuality is gay too."

By that logic, I would be gay...

No, that's not it. I know (second-handedly) of people involved in incestuous sibling relationships and it ended up messing them up for the rest of their lives. Even if though it was consensual on both sides.

Anywho, this really isn't adding anything to the review, so let us stop discussing it.

eveil Since: Jun, 2011
10/25/2011 00:00:00

Yes, well I know people who got involved in typical male-female relationships and it ended messing them up.


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