SpectralTime
Since: Apr, 2009
02/03/2024 00:00:00
On the one hand, I\'m trying to be less of a miserable negative killjoy lately.
On the other hand, considering some of the other films in both franchises, it\'s kind of amazing that this has still managed to be the worst film in three franchises well-known for scattershot quality.
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One of the Worst Movies I've Ever Seen
Aliens vs Predator Requiem, my old nemesis. This is a truly terrible film, and not "good terrible" like Samurai Cop. No, this movie needs to be sealed in Muken for 20,000 years to repent for its sins.
The very first indicator you get of what a rancid pile this film is, is the fact that when it opens up on the Predator Ship from the last film you can barely see anything. The lighting is so bad, and I truly can't stress that enough. Do you know what I think the problem with this film is? It's tasteless. The Predalien eating Scar's body and disrespecting a character that we loved from the last installment? Wolf killing a dad and his kid for some reason even though he's on a covert mission? All the extra blood and gore that the directors think make up for the bad script? The infamous Maternity Ward Chestburster scene? A complete lack of taste.
The humans are just pitiful, the ones that aren't pathetic imitations of characters from other, better movies are difficult to even describe because they have nothing going on. The one I do remember is the sheriff because of what a complete piece of shit he is. He's not an antagonist either, he's just a really unpleasant dude for no reason.
Let me get back to the lighting for a second. So around the middle of the movie, Wolf is engaging the Predalien around a power station and accidentally destroys it (not that he would care of course) which darkens the film to the point of parody. You thought the Battle of Winterfell was dark? You haven't seen darkness, it is impossible to watch this film without turning up the brightness on your TV and I am not kidding. When the characters get to the Hospital at the end, I genuinely couldn't tell one dark blotch on my screen from another.
The ending of the film is a shameless tie-in to the rest of the franchise by showing one of Wolf's plasma casters ended up in the hands of the Yutani corporation, who'll later merge with Weyland Corp. By that point though, I don't think the audience was exactly happy to see another reference for the pile.
This is a 3-star movie at best because I can't find anything good about it. The effects were bad, the action is indeterminable due to the lighting, the characters were wooden planks and I was just so betrayed. Until Alien: Covenant came out, this was the absolute worst the franchise had to offer. That being said, I'd much rather rewatch Covenant than this.