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Reviews Music / Ninja Sex Party

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Elmo3000 Since: Jul, 2013
07/10/2017 16:56:28 •••

They Grow On You

My best friend has one of those tiny magic memory cards with 5,000 songs on it, which confuses me because I don't think Ninja Sex Party have released 4,950 songs, and yet there's a 99% chance that when he puts it on shuffle, they come on. It's led to some very witty banter between us; I'll say 'Hey, is this the Ninja Sex Party song about sex or his dick? Because the joke is that that's all of them!' And my friend will say 'For fuck's sake, you fucking ingrate, it's 2am and I'm driving your worthless ass to Sainsbury's because you forgot to buy a Mother's Day card, and literally the first thing you do is make fun of my music, you self-absorbed piece of-' and basically, we'll both laugh.

The first song I heard from NSP was 'Dinosaur Laser Fight', which isn't the best song to start with, because while it's some catchy and upbeat techno goodness, the humour is just 'Ha ha ha, random!' which there's plenty of on the internet. But then I heard some of their more parodic parodies and they really started to grow on me, like a film that you have to watch a few times before you really get it. Or genital warts.

They're clearly inspired by the best. 'Three Minutes In Ecstasy' is a lot like 'Business Time', 'No Reason Boner' is along the same lines as 'Jizz In My Pants', and 'Cool Patrol' reminds me a lot of Attitude City - wait, what? But don't take this as criticism. We have a million songs about a man falling in love with a woman. We can live with two similar-ish songs about men being really bad at sex.

There are three big reasons behind the band's success. One, the music is good. 'Next To You' has some amazing piano work, and the production value on each track is self-evident and growing stronger with every song. Two, the humour works. Whether it's listening to 'The Decision' and 'If We Were Gay' slowly turn into hilariously immature insults at Ninja Brian, or some of the more surprisingly clever lines - "Here's a tricky dick that cannot be impeached!" - Danny and Brian are genuinely funny guys.

And third, while it might sound like a cliché, part of what makes the band fun to listen to is that Danny clearly absolutely loves making music, and it shows. Music made by people who legitimately love making music is usually the best kind, and everyone involved in every song sounds like they're having a great time.

My one almost-genuine criticism is that Danny is clearly trying his best to successfully parody the whole Rock & Roll Memetic Sex God thing, but it doesn't always work as a parody because, well, he's really quite handsome. Very handsome. A solid yowza yowza bo bowza out of ten.

Ultimately though, Ninja Sex Party are a happy, silly, happy band, and it's good to know that I can always count on them for at least three minutes of ecstasy.


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