FishytheAscendant
Since: Jan, 2014
03/23/2014 00:00:00
(begins singing)
Roses are red Violets are blue They should have stopped At movie two...
Samadhir
Since: Jan, 2010
03/31/2016 00:00:00
Well, I\'m retarded then, because I watched the film after Alien and Aliens and I not only enjoy it, but consider it my favorite in the series.
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A mediocre standalone film, but a blasphemous sequel.
This film is not the worst film I've ever seen, but it is still appalling and redundant nonetheless.
The first two films were masterpieces. Brother-and-Sister feature-length productions that complement each other. The second not wanting to live in the first's shadow, went even further, mixing action into the horror and suspense story. It ended on a cautiously-happy note. And it worked splendidly.
"Alien Cubed" however, attempts nothing new. It gives you nothing back. It takes and takes, until your mind feels violated, and it begs the question "What the hell did you just make me watch?".
First of all, and this needs to be addressed - I do feel sorry for David Fincher. The guy worked hard to try and make it work, to try and salvage this unfolding disaster. But in hindsight (that's a treacherous thing I know), he should have stayed well away from this giant turkey. It was a mess. Like the old saying: "Too many cooks spoil the broth", there was simply too much executive meddling going on behind the scenes. Too many idiots working on-board that rivaled Little Nemo: Adventures In Slumberland for this to ever work.
I wish I could say that the film can stand as an historical example of how not to create a sequel, of how not to revive a franchise-zombie and how not to try to continue what James Cameron effectively concluded. Unfortunately Alien 3 cannot even have that distinction, it doesn't even get to Rot in Peace, because the movie industry is run by greedy buffoons who have no ideas and yet demand all the money, so they gave us Alien Resurrection and Terminator 3. My God. Those are some real grade-A stinkers.
The only way you could ever get any kind of enjoyment from this film, is if you somehow watched it before the first two, so you're allowed to develop a personal preference or bias towards it. Which is a retarded and senseless notion, I know. That's like, for example, insisting on watching "Back to the Future Part III" in the trilogy first, or "Rocky 5" before the first four. But sadly, that's what's required of you.
Avoid.