Reviews Film / Avatar

Had a Nice Plot Twist, Though.

Where to start! When the film began, the stench of old cliches and a poor plot device were already seeping through. Throughout the entire plot, the characters were flatter than a medieval portrait as jumped on by Mario, the character choices were an interesting blend of 'less intelligence than a week-dead cat in a room filled with carnivorous ants' and 'guided by their own brand of logic that holds about as much resemblance and usefulness to reality as a Fox News report.'

As I am writing this review, I am eager to move on to the other areas to tear to shreds to fill my daily 'author tears collected' quota, I just don't think I can move past this point. All the human's decisions could be easily shot down by a 6 year old child after taking a dosage of LSD. Why do we have a poorly defended base on the surface where a hostile environment confronts us? So that we can reach the underground mineral, obviously. So why don't you build your entire base underground, where you face neither hostiles, nor an unsafe atmosphere, and don't even need to dig down? Because we already payed for these mercenaries and were going to get our money's worth one way or another! Oh... Kay... Well, if you don't want to tunnel underground, why not use a space laser to kill things from space and solve the native problems (from space), or better yet, nuke them from orbit? Because then we would have no poorly conceived plot, and we already had these alien clone things that work for no adequate reason! Err... Are you, by any chance, a pillock with no justifiable reason to live other than 'makes a suitable grunt?' I can fit a sock on my head!

Despite the several hundred year difference in technology between the two species (another point: if the Na'Vi have planet-mind which would logically increase the progress of science, then why are they so much less advanced than humans?) Well, 300 or so words in, and I haven't even scratched the surface of the Marina Trench of pure BAD that is Avatar. So before I end this hate-rant leaving you thinking that I have nothing positive to say, I will focus on its only remarkable point. The good guys lose. Yep, that's the plot twist. The under gunned and primitive aliens beat the space marines and- Wait, the aliens were the good guys? Sh*t, this movie was worse at making me sympathize than I thought.

Visuals were OK though. Maybe.