Follow TV Tropes

Reviews FanFic / First Try Series

Go To

SuperSaiyaMan Since: Jun, 2009
07/28/2015 12:07:28 •••

Awesome fic, but not without its flaws

This has been one of the few really good retellings of Naruto, up there with Team 8 in terms of overall quality. Naruto as a veteran genin surprisingly works and Tetsuo is a great sensei to him, and Suzume and Satoshi are both enjoyable to read about. However, it isn't without its flaws.

One of the biggest flaws is that the author...really has trouble writing action. Its not bad, per say, but it just lacks flow, and instead of showing a full fight scene on screen we get a play by play after the fight ends. What should be entertaining fights, such as Naruto vs Neji or Naruto vs Gaara are practically glossed over with the latter being an almost Off Screen Moment Of Awesome.

Another flaw is how he handles Naruto's character. He turns Naruto from a Genius Ditz who has one of the biggest, most forgiving hearts in the entirety of Shonen (up there with fricken Goku-or even better) into a somewhat cynical person who rarely forgives. This is in complete odds with his canon personality. He refuses to forgive Kakashi and let him train him, he muses that he'll never forgive Gaara (and even doesn't get the whole Not So Different characterization), and genuinely acts like a cynical bastard. Not to mention changing his overall enjoyable fighting style from using his clones in inventive ways to...laying traps. Not that that's bad, but it just doesn't fit with the Naruto we all know and love from canon. And his refusal to even try to learn to use the Fox's power is a Wall Banger in itself and not only short sighted, but insanely stupid.

Another thing he got wrong is KN0 being capable of all these feats when in canon, its a power that even genin such as Sasuke, Neji, or Gaara can handle. The second KN 0 Naruto attacked Zabuza in anger he should have been on the receiving end of a Curb-Stomp Battle after all. Its not like in Part II where it'd be justified, given Naruto has reached Jonin level himself at the start of Shippuden. It just seems like a downgrade for the enemies and an upgrade for Naruto.

However, despite these flaws it is not only an enjoyable fic, but highly recommended from me. Its still a absolute joy to read.

Valiona Since: Mar, 2011
03/26/2014 00:00:00

I've noticed a lot of fanfic writers like to turn Naruto into "a cynical bastard" to varying degrees, such as having him not become friends with Team 7, killing Sasuke after his defection, and so forth, sometimes seemingly as a Take That to Naruto, a desire to "improve on" Naruto's canon characterization, or out of a belief that stories on the "cynical" side of the Sliding Scaleof Idealism Versus Cynicism are better. That tendency tends to get on my nerves.

Dechstreme Since: Oct, 2014
04/27/2015 00:00:00

That's not the only thing wrong with this story. Lucillia also makes Kakashi have an unhealthy fixation with training Naruto while in canon he was pretty hands off but supportive as much as he could in spite of his issues, and SASUKE wasn't such an irrational asshole BEFORE he got mindraped by Itachi again. It would have been more in character for Sasuke to force a confrontation with Naruto to interrogate him regarding how he pulled off graduating early, instead of going on a smear campaign because he wasn't the one considered for an early graduation, when Naruto only tried graduation early because he requested it, and there was nothing stopping Sasuke from doing the same. In short, there is no reason for Sasuke to be so hostile to Naruto.

And don't get me started on the needless deconstruction of how much being a ninja can suck, when it's something that the canon series covered way back in the Wave Country arc.

CaellachTigerEye Since: May, 2010
07/28/2015 00:00:00

Do not, Lucillia is a SHE my friend - not a HE.

I will grant that many of the points made about the story and its flaws are quite valid - the author isn't best at certain aspects of the story, which include somewhat one-note characterisation (which works for her crack, not so much when the content is serious). O Verall she has a very specific style, and it's not for everyone in the end.


Leave a Comment:

Top