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nijikon Since: May, 2012
Jun 20th 2012 at 7:40:20 AM •••

Just on the off-chance anyone actually cares, here's this troper's personal theory on why she finds het so ew:- I have never been able to enjoy het romance in any media because I have trouble with female characters. I think it's because mainstream media is so dominated by the Male Gaze and the assumption by producers and distributors that the audience is a male (often a white heterosexual one too). Just look at how few popularist movies pass the Bechdel test to see what I mean and how many movies have females as the top-billed hero role (Answer: very few). This means female character are automatically relegated to a state of "otherness" - maleness is the norm, the status quo. The heroes are men, and femal charas are unable to interact on an equal footing with the male characters which to me makes any relationship feel unequal, contrived, odd. Especially where "getting the girl" is how the hero is rewarded - in that case the girl has just been reduced to being a passive prize, not an autonomous human being. Nope, I don't like it.

So, when as a young teen I discovered yaoi, I finally found romance plots I could care about because the characters were both boys (well, ok, bishounen) they felt like they had much more opportunity to interact on equal terms. Both could be heroes, free agents, interesting characters who wouldn't automatically be put in the "otherness" bubble.

It's not so much that mxm is better, it's just that I have Issues with female characters. I wouldn't say Het is Ew, more like Het is Lame, or boring, or unconvincing, really.

Anyway, I'd be interested if this resonates with any other tropers. I'll shut up now because I could write a whole thesis on this stuff if I don't.

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Telcontar MOD Since: Feb, 2012
Jun 20th 2012 at 8:29:24 AM •••

Troper Tales (which that's an examlpe of) are no longer collected on this wiki, even in discussion pages. You might be able to start a thread in the Trope Talk forum to discuss this sort of thing, but it doesn't belong here, sorry.

That was the amazing part. Things just keep going.
PrincessMiyu Since: Nov, 2021
Dec 4th 2021 at 8:40:20 AM •••

I know this was a loooong time ago, but what about yuri? What are your thoughts on that?

SeptimusHeap MOD (Edited uphill both ways)
Mar 22nd 2021 at 8:37:19 AM •••

Linking to a past Trope Repair Shop thread that dealt with this page: What do the examples do?, started by Ghilz on Jan 10th 2011 at 8:09:11 PM

"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman
SeptimusHeap MOD (Edited uphill both ways)
Mar 22nd 2021 at 2:42:20 AM •••

Linking to a past Trope Repair Shop thread that dealt with this page: Not Tropeworthy, started by Martello on May 23rd 2012 at 9:28:43 PM

"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman
SeptimusHeap MOD (Edited uphill both ways)
Mar 20th 2021 at 8:21:27 AM •••

Previous Trope Repair Shop thread: Misused, started by Fireblood on Jul 25th 2020 at 1:49:18 AM

"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman
SeptimusHeap MOD (Edited uphill both ways)
Dec 5th 2020 at 1:23:58 AM •••

Examples removed per TRS

"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman
shonengirl Since: Oct, 2014
May 9th 2020 at 6:35:23 AM •••

Can someone please change the "queer" thing? Not every LGBT person likes that word. I've seen LGBT people have some pretty negative reactions at that word, and to see it just thrown around here is kind of inconsiderate of them.

snichols1973 Since: Jul, 2015
May 25th 2019 at 2:10:23 PM •••

For those less familiar with slang terms like "Het" and "Ew", how about an alternate title like "Straight Relationships are Squicky" or something like that which uses terms that others unfamiliar with pop slang could understand? The "relationships" part would include (but isn't limited to) such aspects as dating, marrying, fanshipping, or LBGTQ community people discriminating against straight people, whether straight couples are married, dating, "just friends", platonic lovers, etc.

Edited by snichols1973
97.124.80.58 Since: Dec, 1969
Apr 5th 2010 at 5:22:57 PM •••

Gen fic is short for general (fan) fiction. Gen fic is a catch-all term for fan fiction that doesn't revolve around romance or sex.

primateJ Since: Dec, 1969
Dec 30th 2012 at 5:47:32 PM •••

Hm...the "Het is Ew" phenomenon mystifies me. That any gay person, male or female, wants to see their reality respected and portrayed in art and pop culture, I understand perfectly- I even understand how the near TOTAL domination of heterosexuality in art/culture (at least, up to the latter part of the twentieth century) could be a source of resentment. What I don't understand is flat-out embracing the type of exclusion and even disgust of straight people that gay people were once universally subjected to. Is it some kind of revenge? I honestly don't understand it. I am a fifty year old man. While I consider myself straight, I have had several relationships with men. I don't consider myself "Bi"; I tilt about 90% towards straight sex, and I have never really had romantic feelings for men. I have sometimes felt resentment from gay acquaintances about this, and I am always hurt by it. Recently, I have done some fan fiction writing, a new thing for me, and I have been stunned by the often negative reaction I receive by writing characters WHO ARE STRAIGHT, AS STRAIGHT. Wow. I mean, if you like Star Trek, I naturally assume that you like Star Trek, as it was created and conceived. If you enjoy imagining an "alternate universe" where Kirk and co. are all gay, that's cool, go for it, I say. But to actually attack someone for DARING to write the characters as depicted in cannon...that seems nutty to me. I am, honestly, trying to understand this. If it is simply about the once ubiquitous anti-gay hatred and prejudice of 'straight' society being paid back in kind, then all I can say is how sad. Hopefully, the next generation (or two) will get past all this craziness. If there is more to it than bigotry, then I would truly appreciate some knowledge on the subject. Please, no ugly hatred, I am someone trying to understand.

superflous Since: Oct, 2012
Dec 30th 2012 at 6:38:37 PM •••

I'm a woman, I have been mostly romantically attracted to other women and sometimes to men, I suppose I can refer to me as bi. I enjoy writing and reading fanfiction, both with romantic inclination or not, I don't care, I enjoy reading explorations of relationships between characters of works I like, whenever it's romantic or not, not matter the genders of the characters. I don't really think that my own sexuality has something to do with what kind of relationships I want to read, and I believe that thinking that one "kind" of relationship is superior than other because of the genders of the characters is pretty stupid. Sure, I like some works with gay relationships as much as some works with straight relationships. I understand that most of them aren't canon and I don't mind, I enjoy the canon work and the "what if" relationship. Fanfictions are not canon, I know that they aren't, I find them fun, I have no problem with that. I enjoy canon just as it is.

I see the whole 'Het is Ew' thing more as fetishization of gay people/relationships rather than "revenge towards straight people". The same deal of the whole "Girl on Girl is hot" trope can be used to this logic. It's not thinking that straight people are inferior, but thinking that straight people aren't "hot/interesting/whatever enough as gay people", thinking as gay people as an object that you enjoy rather than people.

Also, most of the phenomenon comes from women supporting male/male relationships, rather than male/male relationships and female/female relationships, going against relationships with women since they see women as "less interesting", like if you think that Kirk and co. are much interesting characters to write, and that females in Star Trek are boring and their relationships will be flat and gross. Yes, it's pretty misogynist.

vye Since: Jun, 2015
Jul 16th 2015 at 2:33:15 AM •••

It's silly how this is apparently a trend topic online,when this should be just a matter of personal like

Edited by vye
maryjake Since: Jul, 2015
Larkmarn Since: Nov, 2010
Jul 16th 2015 at 7:17:31 AM •••

What.

If you have a point, grammar, capitalization, and not making ridiculous walls of text would help get it across.

No one is going to read that mess.

Edited by Larkmarn Found a Youtube Channel with political stances you want to share? Hop on over to this page and add them.
FigureGunplaFan Since: Oct, 2013
Sep 13th 2018 at 10:40:35 PM •••

When is this trope going to have its own YMMV variant? Some editors used them for YMMV pages.

Contributor for Gunpla Wiki. Currently suspended due to extensive writing issues. PS: I only wrote down what I saw. (audience reactions etc) Hide / Show Replies
Larkmarn Since: Nov, 2010
Sep 14th 2018 at 6:10:39 AM •••

Hopefully never. If it's showing up on YMMV pages, delete it.

Found a Youtube Channel with political stances you want to share? Hop on over to this page and add them.
dreamlands Since: Jul, 2016
Jul 18th 2016 at 3:34:25 PM •••

I feel like the description here (as well as the "playing with" examples) could use some cleanup, as some of the text seems to conflate a disinterest in reading about heterosexual sex/romance with active bigotry toward heterosexuals. It would be nonsensical to suggest that a disinterest in reading m/m is offensive, prejudiced, or silly, wouldn't it?

Feinoha Since: Apr, 2010
Nov 1st 2013 at 1:37:11 PM •••

In the article it states:

It's worth noting that this is a fan-reaction Trope, dealing with the preference of a number of slash and yaoi fans to read about only homosexual relationships. It's not about in-universe anti-heterosexual feelings expressed within a work of fiction.

Then later states:

In-Universe examples only please, and remember, this is about a specific attitude towards heterosexuality, not just homosexual pairings.

If this is a fan reaction, how can it possibly have "In universe examples"?

Edited by 173.202.61.62 Hide / Show Replies
donteatacowman3 Since: May, 2013
Apr 14th 2014 at 3:29:42 PM •••

Came here to say exactly that. I'm not going to claim whether the trope should be one or the other, but those two rules seem mutually exclusive. Unless we split it into two pages—or made the definition all-encompassing for in-universe as well as fan reactions—I'm not sure how we'd rectify it, though.

SeptimusHeap MOD (Edited uphill both ways)
Apr 14th 2014 at 11:16:08 PM •••

Fan reactions described in works are both "fan reactions" and "in universe examples". No exclusivity there.

"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman
MithrandirOlorin Since: May, 2012
Feb 21st 2013 at 8:52:23 AM •••

Do I qualify for this? I've sometimes expressed the thought that "Heterosexual romances are boring". If I ever wrote a Fan Fic, I'd definitely operate under my usual theory that Everyone Is Bi, but I also never feel the need to degenerate the canon couples.

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Laudanum Since: Oct, 2012
Aug 16th 2013 at 3:54:06 AM •••

Read the article again. I took out the irrational hate and disgust that the original author invested in the article and approached it from an objective perspective based on what I've observed about this subculture.

I read a lot of doujinshi for Hetalia, Durarara and a few other series so I've come across Het Is Ew quite a few times. However, I've only noticed the Die for Our Ship sentiment in young teenagers and extremists. One of my favorite artists doesn't like Het any more after being exposed constantly to shoujo stereotypes as a little girl, but that doesn't mean she hates Het ships or people who like or write Het. She just got tired of it and likes something different.

chantililly Since: Jan, 2011
Jun 10th 2012 at 12:19:01 PM •••

Apparently this is quite a common thing for asexual people. Just a semi-interesting note. I guess that after years of having the expectation that you're going to Slot A and Tab B with someone of the opposite gender pushed on you, by contrast porn involving nobody of your gender is much more palatable, and doesn't require any sort of self-insertion. Or you're just not into porn, but still find het ew. Well, who knows.

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nijikon Since: May, 2012
Jun 20th 2012 at 8:12:37 AM •••

I can understand that. Also, I'm not asexual but I don't feel anything particularly sexual myself when reading yaoi - it's more about the feelings and relationship dynamics (and the art). The sex scenes are an important part of the story but it's also about more than just watching two bodies conjugate.

Lots of lesbians like yaoi. That makes sense to me though, it's not like the charas in yaoi are realistic representations of men. They're more like avatars of idealised female concepts of romance. With big wet eyes and floppy hair and sparkles, to boot.

Camacan MOD Since: Jan, 2001
Jul 25th 2011 at 10:31:35 PM •••

Got this in quote format:

"Straight is the new gay."

Not attributed, could be more of a "subtitle" — but that looks wrong when we already have a page quote. Suggest integrating the sentiment with the main text but it's already there in essence.

Edited by Camacan
97.124.80.58 Since: Dec, 1969
Apr 5th 2010 at 5:20:36 PM •••

"See also (SFW strip on NSFW site) http://www.ghastlycomic.com/d/20040502.html, about a sponsor's reaction to the above, after years of tentacle sex, furry sex, threesomes, children wearing bondage gear for fun, various forms of bestiality, gay sex, various acts with a shemale, S&M (including Jesus reenacting the crucifixion), numerous jokes about pedophilia, and a few about bukkake. And that's just what I remember from skimming through the archives to find the strip."

Oh, come on. Is it really appropriate to put gay sex on the same level as pedophilia, bestiality, and tentacle sex?

I'm sorry if this seems like a random/odd thing to bring up, but it annoys me so much when people do that.

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SeanTucker Since: Dec, 1969
Feb 13th 2011 at 5:55:02 PM •••

Sponsors are generally way more likely to pull ads from something with gay or otherwise deviant content than from something with het content. That's why it's on the same level there.

Edited by SeanTucker
184.100.196.94 Since: Dec, 1969
Dec 23rd 2010 at 10:07:41 PM •••

For an image, could we include this? http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=too+much+yaoi#/djgp91 Or should we just leave the page imageless?

99.97.133.70 Since: Dec, 1969
Nov 5th 2010 at 7:20:01 PM •••

"When you get down to it, plain-vanilla sexual intercourse has its own share of squick. Just about the only thing more unsanitary would be for a boy to stick his whatsit in a back-door whatsit. (...And yet the Het Is Ew crowd runs with that. So maybe these two are unrelated.) "

This is written awkwardly. I think it's the "..." and the use of the term "whatsit".

DonZabu Since: May, 2009
Aug 14th 2010 at 8:06:07 PM •••

"At the very least, all of us—gay, straight or otherwise—probably had at a small dollop of it the first time we got The Talk. 'A boy sticks his what in a girl's what!! That's disgusting! I'm never gonna do that!'"

Is that a really valid comparison to make? I mean, unlike the Het Is Ew we tend to think of, it doesn't really imply that homosexuality is better.

Edited by DonZabu "Wax on, wax off..." "But Mr. Miyagi, I don't see how this is helping me do Karate..." "Pubic hair is weakness, Daniel-san!"
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