Accidental Innuendo: The fanfic is loaded with this. Perhaps worst is the bit where Leif attacks a rapist with the words "Now feel the pain that so many innocent young girls like her have felt but with oh so much more intensity". Disregarding his impressive lung capacity, what the hell is he doing with those magical knives?
Ass Pull: This fic appears to be merely a poorly-written RedwallTransplanted Character Fic until Chapter Three, whereupon we abruptly and without warning come upon the line "then he shot a beam from his paw which the rat teleported away from". (For those unfamiliar, Redwall is a medieval fantasy about talking animals, and has a definite lack of magical laser beams or teleportation.)
Narm: "Leif walked into the alley SO ARNOLD HE YELLLED TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MORE POOR YOUNG GIRLS EH I GUESS I WAS TOO LATE TO STOP YOU FROM TAKING THIS YOUNG GIRLS INNOCENCE BUT IT IS NOT TO LATE FOR ME TO KILL YOU."
