What An Idiot / Grand Theft Auto

"You dumb idiot."

—Franklin after Dom performs an incredibly stupid and fatal stunt, Grand Theft Auto V

In a world where the majority of major players are criminals, there are often instances of said criminals acting really stupid.

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• Grand Theft Auto III:
  • Maria is in a soured relationship with mafia boss Salvatore Leone. After meeting with Claude, she starts to gain an interest in him and then falls in love with him because he treats her better than her husband.
    You'd Expect: Maria to confess her feelings to Claude in private or at least keep her mouth shut.
    Instead: Just to spite Salvatore, he tells him that she cheated on him with Claude. Salvatore, who was already paranoid thanks to CJ betraying him with the casino heist, sets up a car bomb trap to kill Claude with. Claude avoids it thanks to a last minute message from Maria.
  • In the final mission, “The Exchange”, Claude arrives to the Colombian Cartel mansion to deliver the ransom money to Catalina with a cartel member standing behind Claude with a gun to his head. After Catalina takes the money, she tells Claude that she isn’t to be trusted and instructs her goons to kill him (who is at point blank range and unarmed.)
    You’d Expect: The mook to immediately shoot and kill Claude.
    Instead: The mook takes an absurd amount of time to shoot Claude who then sucker-punches and kills him.
  • In the side mission "Her Lover", Marty Chonks decides to kill his wife's lover Carl (to whom he owes money) and turn his corpse into a dog food, something he's already done with his banker, two robbers and even his aforementioned wife too. As result, he has Claude drive Marty right to the Bitch'n' Dog Food factory territory.
    You’d Expect: That Marty would just let Carl walk inside, preserving the surprise factor and making it easier to subdue and then kill him.
    Instead: He just walks out in the open and tries to lure him inside the building. Carl does not buy his claims, proclaims Marty's had his chance, then pulls out a shotgun and ices him on the spot.
    Result: Assuming Claude does not waste him immediately after, Carl presumably takes over Marty's business.
• Grand Theft Auto: Vice City:
  • Tommy Vercetti is a low level mook sent to Vice City in order to negotiate a major drug deal with a cartel. As expected, a rival cartel ambushes the deal, resulting in both the drugs and the money being stolen in the chaos. This makes Sonny Forelli - Tommy's boss - extremely angry, and he spends the rest of the game getting angrier and angrier at the main character for not being able to get the money back. During this time, Tommy starts to make connections of his own and starts to make his own little empire in Vice City, coming into contact with a substantial chunk of change and enough drugs to make the original deal look like chump change.
    You'd Expect: That Tommy would at one point tell his boss that he'll fully pay him back for everything lost in the initial ambush, since even a quarter of the way through the game, he has enough money to do this, and then offer a rendezvous to give the money. Even if he didn't have all the money, he could at the very least persuade one of his many powerful friends to help him out in this situation just to get the mob boss off his back and maybe even have some of the mob boss' assets to help him out once things cool down.
    Instead: Tommy seems very nonchalant during all of this. Every time Sonny demands money, Tommy either says nothing to help his situation, or just says he'll "figure out a way" to pay him back. He literally does absolutely nothing to help out the situation.
    As A Result: Near the end of the game, Sonny sends hitmen to extract the money from Tommy's friends, and after those are dispatched, the boss openly declares war on Tommy. This results in the final mission where most of Tommy's friends (actually, just Lance) abandon him, leaving him to fight off the entire force by himself.
    • Sonny isn't helping himself, either. He's basically launching a drug deal with the Vance Gang without the consent of the other Liberty City mafia families. He is primarily motivated by self-serving financial gain, while simultaneously aiming for the hope that the situation will resolve itself in a "better to ask forgiveness than seek permission" manner when the anti-drug heads of the mob see the profits he is raking in. Who do you think he would send in to handle this sensitive operation?
      You'd Expect: Him to send in one of his trusted friends or allies, someone who he knows he can trust to get the job done and remain loyal, mitigating circumstances or not.
      Instead: He sends in Tommy Vercetti, a man whom he personally tried to assassinate. He not only survived that, but killed his assassins, proving that he is a man who is very difficult to kill. In addition to that, he received no help from the Mob while in prison and gained no love for them in the meanwhile. When the inevitable happens and Tommy ends up backstabbing Sonny, Sonny sends down the men seen with him in the intro to destroy a growing criminal enterprise (by which point he finally decides to do so, Tommy has gained enough influence to own half the city). Unsurprisingly, they fail. Even when he has the luck of having one of Tommy's top lieutenants turn traitor, he still can't beat Tommy, and pays for the mistake of giving the task to him with his life.
  • Speaking of idiot, Lance also has plenty of moments of this as well. Take "Death Row" for example.
    You'd expect: Lance to listen to Tommy when the latter tells him he will handle Diaz.
    Instead: Lance, being the impulsive moron he is, decides to jump the gun and take out Diaz on his own without foreseeing the consequences he's facing.
    As a result: Lance is captured by Diaz's guards and kidnapped in the junkyard, foiling Tommy's meticulous planning and forcing Tommy to risk saving Lance's dumb ass.
  • The mission "Bar Brawl" has a local bar refusing to pay protection.
    You'd expect: Lance to get up off his ass and actually help Tommy take care of the job.
    Instead: He continues sitting on his ass drinking and not even budging a single inch away from his chair.
    As a result: Tommy rightfully chastises him for his indolence and decides to handle the job himself. This leads to....
  • .....the subsequent phone call at the end of the mission.
    You'd expect: Lance to simply own up to his screw-ups and promising to do better in the future.
    Instead: He calls Tommy to complain about how he treats him, completely ignoring the fact that it was him being lazy and impulsive that caused Tommy to berate him. While Tommy did give Lance a Backhanded Apology during that moment, did Lance really deserve a genuine one for his own screw-ups?
    And it gets worse: Because Lance didn't like getting shouted at and was upset at being Tommy's second in-command while being delusional enough to believe he deserved more, he betrays Tommy out of spite and even gleefully attempted to kill Tommy as well. Lance was practically asking to get gunned down.
• Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas:
  • Hernandez reports Tenpenny and Pulaski's wrong doings off-screen. The next thing you see is the former hitting him with a shovel for it.
    You'd Expect: Since Tenpenny and Pulaski had no intention of letting either CJ or Hernandez get out alive, they would just shoot them, and bury the completely dead bodies themselves.
    Instead: Tenpenny leaves Pulaski to do the job, who takes more joy in forcing CJ to dig his own grave than ensuring Hernandez would be out cold long enough for CJ to dig the grave, letting Hernandez take him by surprise, and allowing CJ to go after him as well, which ultimately results in CJ killing Pulaski.
• Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories:
  • In the mission "The Made Man", you have to drive Mickey and another character who's expecting to become a "Made Man" at a ceremony in Harwood. However, it turns out you're bringing that person there to be killed by Mickey for being untrustworthy enough. Afterwards, you have to bring Mickey home.
    You'd Expect: To use the car crusher (which you park right next to for the "ceremony") to destroy the car along with any evidence of the man being murdered, and then commandeer another vehicle (like the Trashmaster which tends to spawn next to said car crusher) to drive Mickey home without arousing any suspicion of criminal activity.
    Instead: You have to drive Mickey home in the car with the dead body still inside it, even though this could draw unwanted attention from the police (who will chase after you if they catch you driving around in the car), and then later dump the car in the river where anyone with access to a boat could potentially find it and the man's dead body. And since the car in question is a Leone Sentinel, this would directly link the man's murder to the Leones.
• Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories:
  • Near the end of the first half of the storyline, Lance informs Vic of the big shipment.
    You'd expect: Lance to actually read the information of the shipment clearly to be sure who really owns the coke he wants to steal from the owner.
    Instead: He automatically assumes that Martinez is the one who owns the coke, and he and Vic steal the coke stored in two trucks by the dock by driving the vehicles containing the shipment to the other side of the island.
    In addition, you'd also expect: Vic, being the older, more responsible brother, to ask if Lance was sure if Martinez was the one who owned the coke.
    Instead: He practically thinks about Revenge Before Reason and rapidly agrees with Lance to perform the theft.
    As a result: Vic later discovers that the coke belongs to the Mendez brothers, who will kill anyone involved in the deal, including Martinez, putting the Vance brothers into deeper shit.
    • You'd also expect: Since the Vance brothers need to pay off the Mendez brothers' debts, Lance would actually make sure the coke is stash safely inside his apartment and not take a single sample of it by any means.
      Instead: Lance decides to use up all the coke himself, and even put Louise on it as well.
      BONUS POINTS: When Lance is finally confronted by Vic about this, he decides to give away the coke, practically risking the brothers' lives to a couple of drug lords. There's another good reason for the gamers to despise Lance with a burning passion.
  • Right after this mission, Vic gets a call from Louise to inform him that Martinez and his goons are after Louise.
    You'd expect: Louise to stay hidden from Martinez's view and call Vic to protect her.
    Instead: Louise impetuously decides to take on Martinez and his goons alone!
    As a result: Martinez kidnaps, rapes, and savagely beats her nearly to death. Louise is very lucky she had Vic come to her rescue that time. In contrast, when she is out of Vic's reach again in the finale, she doesn't survive.
• Grand Theft Auto IV:
  • Niko finds out that Michelle is a government agent sent to spy on him while he's stealing the cocaine that belongs to Elizabeta.
    You'd Expect: Him to be enraged by this revelation and pull a gun on her with the intention of killing her.
    Instead: He just screams "You fucking bitch!", and does nothing to stop Michelle from confiscating the coke that he stole back.
  • "Crime and Punishment": Roman, hiding in a dumpster, tells Niko over the phone to come over. When Niko arrives, Roman informs Niko, in a panicked tone, that Faustin's men are out to get both of them as retribution for Niko's recent killing of Vlad.
    You'd expect: Niko to keep watch over his surroundings at all times, so that he and Roman don't get blindsided by the assailants Roman warns of. If an assailant shows up, Niko can fight against them as long as he keeps his awareness.
    Instead: Niko tries to coax Roman out of the dumpster. Doing so leaves Niko's back turned to an open street.
    As a result: One of Faustin's men blindsides Niko, punching him unconscious and captures both Niko and Roman.
  • "Roman's Holiday": Johnny Klebitz and Malc are trying to kidnap Roman Bellic under the promise that Johnny's girlfriend Ashley Butler would not be murdered by Dimitri's men if Johnny did so. All the materials Johnny and Malc have available to commit this are a car, a gag, their guns, and their bare hands. They manage to capture Roman and drag him into their car. Then Johnny must drive to Dimitri's men to deliver Roman to them.
    You'd expect: Johnny to lock the car doors so Roman can't escape.
    You'd also expect: Malc to inform Johnny of this fact. Or figure out a way to bind Roman's hands so he can't try anything funny.
    Instead: They take no measures to prevent Roman from escaping the car.
    As a result: The moment the car comes to a stop for any reason, Roman easily exits the car with no restricted mobility whatsoever and tries to run away. The only reason Roman doesn't escape right then is that Johnny has the ability to brandish (but not shoot) a gun to threaten Roman into returning.
    Even worse: Johnny chastises Malc for not locking the door afterwards, despite Johnny being in the driver's seat (and thus access to the door locks) and Malc being in the back with Roman.
  • "I'll Take Her": Niko kidnaps Gracie Ancelotti on behalf of the McReary family by offering to buy her car on the Internet. When Niko meets Gracie to see the car, Niko would then pretend to take the car on a test drive but instead driving over to the McRearys instead.
    You'd expect: Niko to make up an excuse to drive to the McRearys, or at least do his best to disguise his true intentions.
    Instead: Niko tells Gracie in her face that he is kidnapping her as soon as she questions his "test drive" taking so long.
    As a result: Gracie pulls out all the stops to crash the car in an attempt to escape, complicating the kidnapping. Niko struggles to keep control of the car for a while before he finally knocks out Gracie.
  • Towards the end of the game, Jimmy Pegorino is doing a deal with Dimitri Rascalov, who, for lack of a better word, backstabbed everyone who dared to work for him.
    You'd expect: For Pegorino to (1) either cancel the deal eventually, (2), kill Rascalov as soon as the deal was over or (3), be suspicious and have either Niko or Phill Bell monitor Dimitri.
    Instead: He still tries to go ahead with the deal.
    The Result: Assuming Niko doesn't do the smart thing and waste him, Dimitri steals the heroin being traded for himself, kills Niko's cousin indirectly, then murders Pegorino himself and nearly gets Niko killed. And all that is for the "Deal" route. As for the other one...
  • If Niko chooses the "Revenge" route, Pegorino's organization has been reduced to nothing after Niko killed Dimitri.
    You'd think: Pegorino would realize that making a deal with Dimitri would not have been worth it and apologize to Niko.
    Instead: Pissed off that Niko practically destroyed his organization, he ruins his cousin's wedding by killing one of the guests, Kate McReary, who depending on player choices may or may not have been Niko's girlfriend at the time.
    The Result: Niko goes on another Roaring Rampage of Revenge that ends with Pegorino dead.
  • Derrick and Packie McReary both participate in a bank robbery masterminded by their brother Gerald, though the two of them are having some issues getting along.
    You'd expect: They'd put their differences aside for the brief time it takes to rob the bank, being adult enough to realize it's a delicate operation.
    Instead: They argue the entire time, dropping major hints about their identities as they do so, and become so distracted that a hostage they should've been watching manages to kill a member of the heist team and nearly ruins the entire thing.
• Grand Theft Auto V:
  • Years before the game even began, Trevor does his first score.
    You'd Expect: Trevor to rob a place he never was in.
    Instead: Trevor decides to rob someone he knew.
    As a Result: The person recognized Trevor and Trevor did six months. However, he got out after four.
  • Several years before the game's storyline, Michael is in a gang consisting of him, Trevor Philips, and their friend Brad. Because of concerns for his family, Michael decides that he wants out of being a criminal.
    You'd Expect: That he would talk about this with his partners, and try to part with them on good terms, so that they'll leave him alone.
    Instead: He goes behind both their backs and plans to have them either killed or arrested, while faking his death at the same time.
    As a Result: Trevor survives, and when he finds out that Michael ditched him, he's furious about it for most of the game. However, Michael does deserve SOME slack given the Ax-Crazy nature of his partners, so it's safe to say "good terms" are out of the question.
  • Michael comes home one day to find Amanda sleeping with her tennis coach, Kyle Chavis. He and Franklin chase the coach in Michael's gardener's truck and eventually find him standing on the balcony of a hillside mansion. Michael decides to get his revenge by tying a cable to the house's support beam and tear down the mansion.
    You'd Expect: Michael to realize a tennis coach like Kyle couldn't afford so much as the welcome mat to a mansion like that, just go up to the door and kick it in, and either kill or beat the shit out of Kyle.
    Instead: Michael goes through with the plan and pulls down the beam, utterly demolishing the mansion.
    As a Result: Michael finds out he pulled down the home of the mistress of crime boss Martin Madrazo, who takes a bat to Michael and demands he pay the repairs, forcing Michael to rob a jewelry store and setting off the rest of the game's events.
  • Lamar yet again tries another money making venture after the one before went wrong.
    You'd Expect: Possibly a deal with a person or group that is reliable and won't get him or Franklin killed or arrested.
    Instead: He makes a deal with D, a Ballas gangster he tried to kidnap and ransom away for money earlier. This leads to an ambush by the Ballas and a three star police chase. Franklin calls Lamar out for being incredibly naïve and dumb, which nearly gets him killed every time and that he always has to come in to save him from himself.
  • Speaking of D...
    You'd Expect: D to make sure that Lamar, Franklin and Stretch won't realize that this is a set-up, and distract them for long enough until the Ballas come in and kill them.
    Instead: D openly tells them in front of their faces that they've been set up. While in the very same room as them.
    As a Result: Stretch kills D.
  • Later on, Michael is taking part in a jewelry store robbery.
    You'd Expect: Him not to do or say anything to give away his identity during the job, if he doesn't want any attention from the cops/underworld as a result of it.
    Instead: He gives his catchphrase to a cop trying to get them to move their illegally parked bikes.
    As A Result: Trevor, watching that very cop recount Michael using the catchphrase and recognizing Michael's use of the same phrase during the fateful robbery in North Yankton nine years ago, realizes Michael is still alive. Trevor then barges his way back into Michael's life, bringing with him a great deal of trouble. Including Dave Norton's boss Steve Haines, who finds out about Michael's involvement in the robbery, almost immediately and uses this as leverage to rope Michael and his team into doing dirty work for him.
  • Steve Haines orders Michael, Trevor and Franklin to raid an IAA lab and steal a Neurotoxin, the job will require 3 additional crew members to complete.
    You'd Expect: For Steve to tell Michael, Trevor and Franklin to get 3 more crew members or get Dave and Sanchez to let them know.
    Instead: Steve doesn't bother telling the crew they need extra manpower until the day of the mission and then acts shocked that they didn't get it.
    As a Result: Steve is forced to join them on the mission and due to not having backup, after infiltrating the research facility and stealing the neurotoxin. The crew are held back by unexpected IAA reinforcements which forces Haines to buy them time by shooting himself in the leg and pretending to be an inside man who was trying to stop the theft. This causes the Bureau to start catching on to his corrupt actions and destroys his career.
  • Devin Weston employs Franklin, Trevor and Lamar to steal five cars for him. The men put in a lot of time and effort to acquire them.
    You'd Expect: Devin, a billionaire who can easily buy his way out of anything, to just pay them for services rendered.
    Instead: Devin "places their money in a investment fund" and refuses to pay them.
    As A Result: This destroys his relationship with Trevor and Franklin. He also tries to disrupt Michael's movie Meltdown, which leads to Michael turning against him.
  • This one is related to the aforementioned attempt by Devin to sabotage production of Meltdown, together with his assistant Molly. To protect the film, the studio head, Solomon Richards, pretends not to know how to release movies digitally and that the ‘master reel’ is the only copy, which Devin and Molly fall for. In reality, he has a digital copy ready to go.
    You'd Expect: For Solomon to have let Michael know there was a digital copy.
    Instead: He never told Michael about the digital copy before the theft of the reel, leading Michael into a needless chase with Molly that ends in her death by airplane turbine.
  • Devin Weston is pissed that Michael's latest exploits had gotten his assistant, Molly, a terminal case of plane turbine and deprived him of a lot of money. He calls Michael and the former offers an apology, and in response, Devin sends his private army to Michael's home to kill his family and gloats about it right in his face, prompting Michael to go Papa Wolf on them all.
    You'd Expect: For Devin to realize just who he had managed to piss off and evacuate the country ASAP.
    Instead: He sticks around, enters Franklin's home and tells the man to go kill Michael for him, despite screwing him over in the past.
    As A Result: Devin's life hinges entirely on whether a dumpy 50-something white collar crook can successfully intimidate a 20-something One-Man Army who has reason to be angry at him personally. In ending C, Michael and Franklin kill Devin instead. Honestly, this guy was Too Dumb to Live embodied.
  • Dr. Friedlander becomes famous after publishing his work with Michael De Santa without getting the latter's express permission, to the point where he gets his own TV show. Naturally, this means he can't nickel-and-dime Mike for any more sessions.
    You'd Expect: That when he has to report the news to Michael, someone he knows is a career criminal with a violent temper, he would simply say he can't provide any more therapy, stay quiet about the reasons why, and possibly suggest another therapist he could go to before getting out of town.
    Instead: He brags about where his newfound fame is going to get him right to Michael's face, and drops a hint that it's all because of his (completely ineffectual) sessions with Michael.
    As A Result: Mike gets understandably pissed, chases after Friedlander, and kills him. If you choose to let him get away, a news report on the radio confirms that he died in a car accident anyway.
  • Floyd is house-sitting for his girlfriend Debra when all of a sudden, out of the blue, his cousin Wade shows up with Trevor, who wastes no time in kicking the door in, making himself at home, ordering Floyd around as if he owns the place, and threatening bodily harm on him.
    You'd Expect: That Floyd would do something about the uninvited maniac who's trespassing and squatting in his home. Like call the police at his next and safest opportunity (like in a hotel room he checks into to hide from Trevor).
    Instead: He does nothing. Trevor continues to abuse him, makes a mess of the apartment, and even forces Floyd to help him rob his place of employment. Floyd eventually snaps after seeing Debra get upset at the whole situation and he pulls a knife on Trevor, but Trevor kills him and her off screen, and all we know about the specifics is that there's a ton of blood on the windows and on Trevor afterwards.
  • Ending B. Franklin chases the Final Boss Michael up a ladder to the top of a tower. Obviously, Franklin has to put his gun away so he can grip the ladder with both hands while climbing.
    You'd Expect: For Franklin to immediately pull out his gun after reaching the top before continuing.
    Instead: He moves forward unarmed, and is predictably caught defenseless by the Final Boss and left completely at his mercy.
    You'd Then Expect: For the Final Boss to put aside any lingering sentiments of friendship and shoot him immediately.
    Instead: The Final Boss takes a moment to rant at Franklin, allowing him to outflank him, disarm him, and throw him off the tower to his death.
  • At the end of the quests for Dom Beasley, Franklin find him attempting to jump off the Land Act Dam...without a parachute.
    You'd Expect: Dom would realize the stunt is literally suicidal, and either grab a parachute or just not do it.
    Instead: Dom takes the leap.
    As a Result: He dies the second he hits the ground. Franklin's reaction to this provides the page quote.