What An Idiot / Bob's Burgers

Mr. Frond: You stupid idiot!

With how brash he can get sometimes, Bob and the rest of the Belchers have screwed up several times.

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• In "Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks", Bob decides to let Tina, who is 13, practice driving the family car in a vast parking lot. Tina becomes so nervous that she slowly starts swerving towards the only other car in the lot.
  You'd Expect: Bob to realize that Tina isn't ready to drive yet and to grab the steering wheel, preventing her from hitting the other car.
  Instead: He panics and screams at Tina to drive out of the way. She crashes into the other car, totaling theirs. Tina puts a scratch on the other car which belongs to Jimmy Pesto.
  • Tina isn't blameless, either. She drives very slowly and her dad tells her multiple times to either turn away from the other car or push the brake; he also tells her were the brake is.
    You'd Expect: Even if she is panicking, she is driving very slowly and the other car is far away, so she will listen to her dad and either stop the car or turn the wheel to avoid an accident. Or she will take the feet away from the pedals, letting the car stop by itself.
    Instead: She moves the wheel left and right and gives a long low scream until she hits the other car.
• In the Christmas Episode "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins", the Belchers let Chet, a homeless man who used to organize displays at a department store, stay with them during the holidays. As Christmas draws closer, they find out that Chet is mentally unbalanced, pretending to be a mannequin and saying he had a lost love with another mannequin. Bob fears that Chet might snap someday.
  You'd Expect: Bob to talk to his family about Chet when he isn't around. At the very worst, he shouldn't call Chet crazy or say anything that would upset him.
  Instead: He tells Chet that he needs to get over his lost love who is probably rotting in a dumpster somewhere.
  As A Result: Chet runs away crying and the following morning, he puts a macabre display in the Belchers' window.
• In "My Fuzzy Valentine", Linda gets angry that the detective hijacked her speed dating idea and is jealous that the people are listening to him and not her.
  You'd Expect: Linda to try to reason with the group on why her ideas are better than the detective's.
  Instead: Linda steals the detective's gun out of childish spite, not realizing she committed a huge felony by stealing an officer's weapon. She gets arrested, but is quickly bailed out.
• In "A River Runs Through Bob", Bob and Linda take the kids on a camping trip. After the kids have gone to bed, Bob and Linda go into a nearby "warm spring" together. Shortly after getting in with Linda, Bob realizes he has to go find a bush due to some diarrhea from an under-cooked trout he had eaten earlier.
  You'd Expect: Linda to sit back and allow Bob to go and relieve himself.
  Instead: Linda grabs Bob's arm and tries to pull him back in, while he's desperately trying to get out of the spring.
  The Result: Bob ends up falling, which causes the rocks separating the spring from the river to break apart, with the current dragging them both down the river. Things get from bad to worse from there.
• "Fort Night":
  • The Belchers, the Pesto twins and Daryl become trapped in a cardboard fort when a truck backs in against them. Millie, a classmate who is obsessed with Louise, overhears their predicament and offers to get help in exchange for befriending Louise.
    You'd Expect: Louise to at least comply with her demands. If Millie does get help, she can either tell her the feelings aren't mutual after they're rescued or maybe pull off a double cross.
    Instead: She loses her cool and gives Millie "The Reason You Suck" Speech for not getting help.
    The Result: Millie decides to leave them there and the kids have to find a way out themselves. This leads to another moment below.
    You'd Think: None of the kids would place their trust in a mentally disturbed child just so they can get Halloween candy.
    Instead: Daryl betrays the group to Millie just when it seems they've found their way out through the dumpster. He confesses that she lured him with candy in exchange for not helping them escape.
• In "Seaplane!", flight instructor "Upskirt Kurt" flies Linda to a remote island where he plans on seducing her. Faithful to Bob, Linda rejects his advances and demands to be taken home. Unfortunately, they discover his plane has been washed away due to high tide. Kurt breaks down and cries about not having someone to love, leaving Linda to console him.
  You'd Expect: Kurt to drop the act with Linda and realize if he treats her with respect, maybe she'll help him find a woman.
  Instead: He still tries to make a move on Linda.
  As A Result: Linda smacks him in the throat.
• "Christmas in a Car":
  • It's been stated that the family can only afford one cell phone which they use for emergencies. Gene wants to use the phone to request a song on the radio.
    You'd Expect: Bob and Linda to not give Gene the phone or at the very least impose a strict time limit if he can't get through.
    Instead: Gene stays on hold with the radio station until the phone's battery runs dry.
    As A Result: When the car gets stuck in a snowbank, they are unable to call for help.
    Also: The episode's main conflict has the family getting chased by a large truck shaped like a candy cane. It starts when the family cuts the truck off as they back out of a Christmas tree lot. Their car stalls, leaving them in its path and the driver starts sounding his horn.
    You'd Expect: Bob or Linda to get out of the car, signal for the driver to roll down his window and tell him that the car is stuck. If either of them can explain their situation, maybe the driver will cut them a break.
    Instead: Linda starts screaming at the truck and honks the horn to the tune of "Jingle Bells", enraging the driver to the point of chasing them further down the road. Although the driver wasn't really dangerous in the end, imagine what would have happened if he was.
• In "The Kids Rob A Train", the Belcher kids and Regular-Sized Rudy wind up falling out of the "Juice Caboose" of a train. You'd think that just by reading this, this would fall under Adult Fear, right? The problem is that the episode notes at several points that the train moves very, very slowly. So much so, that you could walk alongside it easily. Louise even does so once she grabs the chocolate and hops off of the train.
  You'd Expect: The kids to run after the slow-moving train.
  Instead: They just stand there and watch as it moves away. Had Rudy not mentioned that the train does come back, the kids could have easily stranded themselves in the wilderness.
• Tina bites her tongue in "Gene It On", leading to the B-plot of Louise taking advantage of the situation and purposely misinterpreting what her older sister says to make the day about her. Y'know. Just Louise being her usual self. For some inexplicable reason, none of the other Belchers (including Bob, himself,) catch on to this transparent manipulative stunt from the child who routinely does these pranks and just go along with the deception. This deserves a spot on this page because:
  You'd Expect: Tina to carry a notebook and pen/pencil, or a small board and marker to write down what she wants to convey, instead of expecting people to understand her slurred speech when she's repeatedly told no one can understand a word she's saying.
  Instead: She continues on trying to speak when she knows full well no one's going to comprehend a single thing she says, and Louise is going to take advantage of that misunderstanding.
  As A Result: This culminates with Louise exploiting Tina's date with Jimmy Jr. while passively insulting him through, again, mistranslating Tina's words. It's only when Tina fumes at Louise, and confesses to Jimmy Jr. does the latter finally understand what she's saying.
• "World Wharf II" has Mr. Fischoeder and Bob being tied up to a pier with high tide approaching by the former's possibly mentally ill, gun-wielding brother Felix. Later on, Felix has a change of heart and offers to free them.
  You'd Expect: Bob and Mr. Fischoeder to keep their mouths shut and accept his help in freeing them. Felix is clearly unhinged, and the last thing they need to do is piss him off knowing that he's armed.
  Instead: While Bob keeps quiet, Mr. Fischoeder doesn't treat it any gravity whatsoever, teasing Felix for being too chicken to go on with his plan to kill him and Bob. Bob is rather justifiably terrified.
  Bob: Oh my GOD, would you stop taunting your brother?!
• The B-plot of "The Runway Club" has a girl named Sally visiting Bob and Linda at the restaurant. Sally is selling magazine subscriptions door-to-door so she can go to a speech therapy camp. Bob thinks that this is a scam.
  You'd Expect: Bob and Linda to keep the former's suspicions quiet. They can just politely refuse and wish Sally luck.
  Instead: They both outright tell Sally that her subscription offering is a scam. She rushes off to inform the organizer who then calls out Bob and Linda on their accusations.
  Later: Bob and Linda are coerced into buying magazine subscriptions to appease the organizer. While this is happening, Jimmy Pesto stops by to taunt Bob about his kids getting detention. Bob tells Jimmy about the subscriptions he's buying.
  You'd Expect: Knowing the kind of person Jimmy is that he'd make fun of Bob for doing this, then walk away like he usually does without suffering any repercussions. Jimmy hasn't heard of the organization Bob is supporting, and he should also be suspicious about it.
  Instead: Jimmy offers to pay double Bob’s contribution on the belief that he could give more to a worthy cause than Bob ever will, not thinking Bob could have just lied. Bob's analysis sums it up perfectly.
  Bob: We got screwed, but Jimmy got screwed more.
• In "The Grand Mama-Pest Hotel", Linda has volunteered to chaperone Tina and her classmates to a heroine convention. That night at the hotel, Linda visits Tina in her room and invites her and her new friend Dillon to have some fun in the halls. Tina warns her that they risk being sent home if Mr. Frond catches them outside of their rooms after curfew.
  You'd Expect: Linda to be a responsible chaperone and comply.
  Instead: She complains about "Mr. No-Fun Frond" and takes Tina and Dillon out anyway. While instigating havoc in the halls, Linda drops bottles of shampoo in a fountain which floods the courtyard.
  As A Result: Mr. Frond reports the incident to management. Linda is banned from the hotel, and Tina goes nuclear on her.
• In "The Taking Of Funtime One Two Three", Louise wants to earn enough tickets so she can win a dune buggy from Family Funtime. Mr. Fischoeder, who is in charge of the carnival games on the town's boardwalk, hears of Louise's plight.
  You'd Think: Given Mr. Fischoeder's knowledge about games of chance that he would mind his own business, especially around Louise. If he keeps quiet about him running things, Louise wins the dune buggy, but if he betrays her he very likely risks retaliation, as Louise is known to get back at people if it's the last thing she does. Either way, there is no scenario where telling Louise how to cheat ends well for him.
  Instead: He tells Louise how to cheat at the games used for Family Funtime and promptly betrays her and her allies before they can get the dune buggy.
  As A Result: Scorned at getting cheated out of the dune buggy, Louise uses Fischoeder's skills to win his prized Wheely Mammoth at a ball-throwing game on the boardwalk.
• In "Worms of In-rear-ment", Gene is in the school restroom when an old tater tot he had in his pocket falls onto the floor. It gets picked up by Peter Toscadero, who is just coming out of a toilet stall, and hands it back to Gene with his unwashed hands.
  You'd Expect: Gene to reject it, or to take it and throw it in the garbage.
  Instead: He immediately puts it in his mouth and eats it.
  As a Result: Gene gets pinworms and passes it on to the rest of the family.
• Several episodes such as "Pro Tiki/Con Tiki" (where an investor gives the restaurant a tiki theme) and "Bye Bye Boo Boo" (when a historian wants to put a plaque signifying that the restaurant was where a famous gangster was killed) have Bob come into possession of something that could ensure success for his restaurant. However, he isn't fond of the idea of anything driving people to the restaurant except his burgers.
  You'd Expect: Bob to swallow his pride and endure it, at least for a while. Even if he personally doesn't like the changes, it would be good business sense to keep them considering the constant financial problems his family faces.
  Instead: He rejects the changes out of personal pride and reverts the restaurant back to normal.
  As a Result: Bob's financial problems continue to plague him and his family throughout the series.
• "Fluoise": To wring out the sopping wet Kuchi Kopi doll that Linda dropped in the toilet, Tina suggests putting it in rice and putting it in the oven.
  You'd Expect: Bob, being a professional cook, would understand that the vinyl toy isn't suited for the oven, and instead find some other way to get the water out of it.
  Instead: Not only does Bob go along with the plan, he uses Oven Logic and sets the temperature even higher to get the doll dry before Louise gets suspicious.
  As a result: The doll comes out even worse off than before, its face having melted from the heat.
• In "Sacred Couch", the Belchers are finally getting their old couch replaced with a new one, but after bringing it home, they don't feel it's as comfortable as their old couch, which is still sitting on the curb in front of their house where they left it earlier for anyone to take it. After finding more things about the new couch they don't like, they decide to bring in the old couch, but it turns out someone has just taken it.
  You'd Expect: The Belchers to finally give up on their old couch and stick with the new one, especially since the only reason they were able to afford the new couch was because it was a floor model and thus they can't exchange or refund it and if they miss the old couch's features that much, they could find another old couch similar to theirs which they could likely get for very cheap, potentially for free, something they would appreciate thanks to their Perpetual Poverty.
  Instead: They immediately start to track down their old couch and find out that it was taken by the members of a teen rockband, who plan to burn it and take a picture of it for the purposes of turning into a poster advertising their band. The Belchers are naturally horrified by the idea, but the band members remind them that the Belchers already abandoned the couch and it now belongs to the teens.
  You'd Then Expect: The Belchers to either admit defeat and let them burn the old couch or suggest another equally flammable non-couch item for them to burn if they're still set on getting their old couch back.
  Instead: Bob suggests that they find the teens a different couch to burn, which ends up being their new couch, with Louise using the fact that they can't return or exchange it as a justification to do so.
  As a result: The Belchers now have their old couch back which can't even be properly sat on anymore due to the sabotage Louise performed on it earlier to get Linda to finally relent and get them a new couch and they're now out of the price of the new couch they just destroyed, putting the Belchers in a worse situation they were in before the start of the episode.
• In "Wag the Hog", Linda babysits a One-Eyed Snake couple's baby, even taking him to a play den, where he ends up calling her mama, something another mother comments on, not knowing the full picture.
  You'd Expect: Linda to clear up the confusion and just say she's babysitting.
  Instead: She says she is indeed Sidecar's mother, even renaming him Simon, all to satisfy her desire to be seen as a fun mom.
  As A Result: When she lets slip Sidecar's real name, she has to come clean and it does not paint a good picture and along with her other flustered comments, it makes it seem she kidnapped the toddler. In the end, she's forced to run as one of the mothers goes to call the police.

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