"SOMEBODY TOUCH-A MY SPAGHETT'!"
— Papa Bear
The Three Bears is a cartoon short released by Terrytoons in 1939.note
It's a typical adaptation of the famous story... except that in this version, the bears are Italian and eat spaghetti instead of porridge. Also, Goldilocks is a jitterbug singer, and the bears allow her to stay in their house after seeing her violin skills. Then a hunter arrives at the house, intent on killing the bears, and its up to Goldilocks to use her wits to save them. Okay, maybe it's not a typical adaptation after all.
In late 2017, this short became popular on the internet for a Twitter / X tweet with a clip (later uploaded to YouTube) of Papa Bear's "SOMEBODY TOUCH-A MY SPAGHETT'!" line. Admit it, that's what you're here for.
The Three Bears provides examples of:
- Adaptation Expansion: The short extends the plot by having Goldilocks try to save the bears from a hunter who wasn't in the original story.
- Adaptational Nationality: The bears are stereotypical Italians in this version, complete with eating spaghetti instead of porridge.
- Beary Funny: The antics of all three of the bears are played for laughs, especially Papa Bear.
- Big Damn Heroes: Goldilocks to the bears. Thanks to her cunning (and surprising penchant for violence), she ends up being the reason the bears even survive the Hunter.
- Canon Foreigner: The hunter and his dog are completely original characters to the short.
- Dance Party Ending: After the Hunter is defeated, the family and goldilocks celebrate this way with Baby on horn, Goldilocks on violin, Mama on piano, and Papa on the dance floor.
- Everything Dances: At one point, while Goldilocks is jamming with Baby Bear, the piano is seen dancing along with them.
- Evil Poacher: The hunter is implied to be one, as he looks confused when Goldilocks asks for his hunting license.
- Face Palm: Papa does this a few times, most notably when he sees somebody touched his spaghetti.
- Fantasy-Forbidding Father: Baby Bear is forced by his mother and father to play the violin, which he hates. When Goldilocks comes to their house, he quite happily picks up pretty much every instrument but the violin, as he's way more into Jazz (which Papa hates).
- Fractured Fairy Tale: The hunter even lampshades what an atypical retelling of the story this is by saying "Well, I guess this ain't in the book!" when he corners the bears. Overall the bears aren't fantastic beasts but rather more akin to modest Italian immigrants, Goldilocks is changed from a villain/victim to a hero, and the only ones who get hurt are new villains (the Hunter and his dog) added to this version specifically. The villains also add a short story conflict and action scene after the original tale would've ended.
- Fur Is Clothing: The hunter demands Papa and Baby to take off their fur. They do so, revealing that they wear Victorian style long-john underwear underneath.
- Get Out!: A humorous take on this happens when Papa angrily (and very, very hammily) orders Goldilocks out of the house when he finds her in bed.Papa: (marching Goldilocks to the door) Oh no, you Goldilocks! You eat-a the spaghet-a! You break-a the chair and YOU SLEEP-A IN THE BED-A! GO HOME-A TO YOUR HOUSE!
- Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Papa only wears a green jacket, and Baby only wears red shorts, beside their White Gloves. Mama, on the other hand, wears a full dress. However, they can also remove their brown fur like clothes.
- Hypocritical Humor: Right after Papa Bear shouts "SOMEONE IS IN THIS-A HOUSE!", he immediately motions the rest of his family to be quiet.
- "I Am" Song: The song Goldilocks sings in her introduction.
- Italians Talk with Hands: Papa, being a walking Italian stereotype, makes a lot of wild hand gestures.
- Large Ham: Everything Papa says is over the top:"SOMEONE IS IN THIS-A HOUSE!""SOMEBODY TOUCH-A MY SPAGHET!""Oh, no! You Goldilocks! You eat the spaghet-a! You break-a the chair, you sleep in the bedroom-a! GO HOME-A TO YOUR HOUSE-A!
- Rambunctious Italian: The bears are given stereotypical Italian accents and mannerisms and are often shown arguing amongst each other. Papa Bear in particular is a Large Ham, freaking out when he finds that Goldilocks tasted his pasta.
- Slapstick: The fight with the Hunter is this. Goldilocks, Baby, Mama, and Papa all get in a blow or two at the Hunter as he is practically punted around the room before rolling out the door in a drum he was smashed into and being drug away, unconscious, by his dog. As expected of a cartoon of this era; the carnage is completely bloodless and the physics are completely unrealistic.
- Would Hurt a Child: The Hunter takes the fur not just from Papa, but Baby Bear too, and the Hunter shows sadistic glee in doing so.
