An Animated Adaptation of the infamous Orthodox Christian propaganda trilogy's first installment. It was a project by the "Charitable Foundation of Help and Cooperation named after St. Sergius of Radonezh," with the financial backing of the Ministry of Culture of the Russian Federation.
The film centred around two Russian military cadets and their Lieutenant Colonel officer on a covert mission to rescue Russian orphans from a Western wizarding school known as the High Academy of Occult Science (HAOS).
Can be enjoyed in all of its So Bad, It's Good glory here
, complete with English subtitles.
This movie contains examples of:
- 13 Is Unlucky: When Professor McNagaina gives Ivan and Peter a tour throughout the HAOS' installations after their admission into the school, the former of the two asks her how many faculties they have. McNagaina explains that they started with four, then eight, and as of last year, they now have thirteen faculties.
- Academy of Evil: The HAOS is a Wizarding School built over the remains of Ahnenerbe, a former Nazi base in Scotland. Since magic as a whole is portrayed as demonic, the school's curriculum requires students to renounce their moral principles, such as compassion, love, family, and in the case of Russian students, patriotism.
- Adaptational Ugliness: Everyone, thanks to the horrendous art style.
- Adapted Out: Characters from Harry Potter are omitted from this adaptation for obvious copyright-related reasons.
- Alike and Antithetical Adversaries: Homogeneous Heroes vs. Heterogeneous Villains, to fit with the film's ultranationalistic agenda. The antagonists (if their names and horrendously offensive accents are any indication) include Jewish people, East Asians, Britons, Americans, Arabs, traitorous Russians, and more. The protagonists, meanwhile, are all Slavic, Eastern Orthodox, and ethnic Russian. Even fellow Orthodox Christians - the two Greek priests and the Kosovo Serb old woman appearing in a flashback - are mere supporting characters who do not involve themselves in any action.
- Ancient Conspiracy: According to the film, Orthodox Christianity has been in a secret war with an organisation known simply as the "Order" since the Christianisation of Rus. The Order, which was displeased with how strong said nation had become, tried to bring it down by any means possible. Thus they played a key role in the downfall of the Byzantine Empire and instigated numerous wars and conflicts throughout world history. Moreover, the Order took Judas' betrayal of Christ as an inspiration for their founding and it's implied to be behind the wizards' rising.
- Anti-Magic: The "Russian protection" essentially boils down to this, negating all kinds of magic targeted at Russians. It even prevents Russian electronics from malfunctioning in the magical environment of HAOS.
- Artistic License – History: The portrayal of history is very inaccurate due to heavy bias in favor of Russia and the Russian Orthodox faith.
- Bare Midriffs Are Feminine: The HAOS's female dress uniforms are shown to reveal the midriffs of the students who wear them.
- Big Damn Heroes:
- When Elya is revealed to be the Great Magister and tried to have Peter sacrifice Asya for the initiation ritual, Ivan shows up in the nick of time to inform Lt. Col. Telegin and blow up the school before taking his friends to safety.
- Lt. Col. Telegin shows up in time to pick Ivan, Peter, Nadia, and Asya up when cornered by Kosch, McNagaina, and several armed guards, thanks to Ivan's glowing crucifix, which was a keepsake from the Greek elders. When a Global Congress naval ship prepares rocket launchers to blow up Telegin's helicopter with the kids inside, a fleet of Russian submarines surface to intimidate them into calling off the attack and retreating.
- Bittersweet Ending: Ivan foils the Wizards' Global Congress with the help of Lt. Col. Telegin and saves Nadia, Peter, and Asya as the HAOS goes up in flames. However, the other four orphans lost their "Russian protection" long ago and wander around the school's ruins after the staff took what remained of their archives before scrambling out, with the live-action segment implying they returned. However, the movie bombed at the Russian box office, which means there won't be a continuation.
- Burn the Witch!: A variant where an entire Wizarding School is burned, thanks to Telegin infiltrating it and blowing it up after Ivan rescued Nadia, Peter, and Asya. After returning safe and sound to Russian lands, where Kupriyanich and Petrovich salute each other, the animated segment ends with scenes of the burning school as demonic shrieks resound throughout the ruins, implying that the demons behind the school and magic are angry at Russia for foiling their evil plans.
- Category Traitor: Russian magic students are said to have "ceased to be Russian" and become "mere Russian speakers". The movie demonstrates it by showing them cricitise Russia and the Russian way of life.
- Canon Foreigner: Professor Saires, the HAOS' headmaster, was created exclusively for the movie and therefore doesn't appear in any of the source material's books.
- Captain Ersatz:
- Professor Saires is clearly meant to be a grown-up lookalike of Harry Potter, complete with glasses. However, he has thick eyebrows and a handlebar mustache that serve to signal he's evil.
- The "phantoms" that accompany Leonard on his way to Russia, which the Narrator explains that their purpose is to destroy children's souls, are basically Dementors under another name.
- The Chosen One: Professor Saires holds a meeting at HAOS to announce the arrival of their chosen one, who will lead the invasion of Russia and turn all of its children into wizards. Near the end when Peter and Asya are taken into a ritual chamber to be "initiated" at the Global Congress of Wizards, it's revealed to be Elya, one of Asya's former friends.
- Colour-Coded for Your Convenience: Global Congress security agents, soldiers, and HAOS non-magical facility staff wear uniforms that are fully coloured according to their job positions:
- HAOS Security Force guards wear grey uniforms.
- HAOS store-persons wear orange uniforms.
- Global Congress special agents wear black uniforms.
- Sailors of the Global Congress naval task force that tried to intercept the protagonists during the climax wear deep blue uniforms.
- Cool Plane: Leonard traveled to Moscow using a dark-coloured corporate jet. Also, the micro-copters, one-manned miniature helicopters used by the protagonists to travel to Greece and later to HAOS.
- Crucial Cross: Ivan used the cross he received from the Greek elders during the climax as a signaling flare for Lieutenant Colonel Telegin to pinpoint and rescue him and his compatriots.
- Destruction Equals Off-Switch: When Lt. Col. Telegin arrives in England on Ivan's aid after the latter sends an SOS from the wristwatch given to him by Kupriyanich, he finds the HAOS' server room and tells the engineers to delete the database. However, Telegin grows tired of waiting and throws a crowbar at the servers, disabling them and allowing him to break into the school.
- Distress Call: After briefing Ivan on the mission to retrieve the Russian orphans from HAOS, Kupriyanich gives him a special wristwatch that not only pinpoints his exact location to the FSB, but has a special button that emits a distress call when pressed three times. Ivan uses it near the end when after finding Nadia, who tells him Peter and Asya were hauled away to be sacrificed, so Lt. Col. Telegin rushes into the school to pick up Ivan and the others.
- Eagleland: As expected of a pro-Russian propaganda film, the American soldiers depicted in it are of the Boorish variety as they're in cahoots with HAOS. Moreover, the American military even sends a fleet of ships, planes, and submarines to protect the school's Global Congress from any Russian forces trying to disrupt it.
- Epigraph: The movie opens with a quote from political scientist and philosopher Oleg Matveychev about what it means to be a Russian, thereby setting up the story's main theme."RUSSIAN - that's how foreigners generally address anyone who speaks Russian. And there's nothing that can be done about it now.
I would add that a Russian is a person who loves Russia — their motherland and any people nearby — their fellow countrymen." - Evil Plan: The HAOS' latest scheme is to corrupt the minds of Russian children and turn them into wizards after finding a way to destroy the "Russian protection." To achieve this, they send Leonard on a mission to visit all schools in Moscow, putting doubts into the children's heads and summoning "phantoms" to destroy their souls.
- Fantasy-Forbidding Father: Or more accurately, Fantasy-Forbidding Grandfather. General Petrovitch disapproved of his granddaughter Nadia wanting to study to be a witch, insisting that she become a figure skater instead.
- Femme Fatale: Being a teacher of Seduction classes in HAOS, Professor Ramona al-Rahamma teaches female students that a woman's place is not to marry and form a family, but to be adored and praised and therefore, conquer the other half of humanity. Moreover, she teaches them to take everything from a man and never care what happens to him afterward.
- Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Professor Saires wears glasses and is the headmaster of HAOS, making him evil by default. Moreover, he is also the one announcing the Grandmaster's coming, calling the shots in the Global Congress to invade Russia and turn all of its children into wizards.
- Gonky Femme: Professor Ramona al-Rahamma is the teacher in charge of Seduction classes in HAOS, yet she is depicted as a pink-skinned, fat, and ugly woman with large wonky breasts, especially because of the poor-quality CGI.
- Gorgeous Garment Generation: During his demonstration of magic to a Russian school, Leonard magically dresses his chaperone in a fancy red dress.
- Greedy Jew: Professor Kohan Kosch is implied to be one, helped by his pronounced nose, teaching students alchemy (to transmute things into gold, of course) and the theory of greed and wealth, on top of having metal valuables in his desk along with bonsai which he uses to hide a unique Fabergé crystal eggnote .
- Historical Hero Upgrade: Empress Alexandra is held up as a role model of fidelity and loyalty. Her questionable-at-best relationship with Rasputin and her frankly abysmal political decision-making during World War I are completely overlooked.
- I Call Her "Vera": Professor McNagaina, HAOS's flying instructor, referred to her flying broomstick as "Raichel the training assistant".
- Kitsch Collection: Asya explains to Ivan that Professor Kosch has a collection of metal valuables and bonsai trees. When Ivan enters Kosch's office to save Peter, Nadia, and Asya, he uses it against him after breaking a bonsai oak and finding a Faberge crystal egg thought lost since WWII. Moreover, Kosch explains that it was bought by Archiduke Franz Ferdinand and its value exceeded Earth itself, to the point World War I started because of it. However, Ivan uses the egg as leverage to coerce Kosch into leading him to the penitentiary where Peter and Nadia are held.
- Lighter and Softer: The original book contains gore and other disturbing violence, which the movie doesn't show.
- Limited Wardrobe: Nadia does not seem to wear anything other than her Russian school uniform.
- Magic Is Evil: The film is a heavy anti-magic tract. Magic is portrayed as demonic, and some forms of it explicitly require one to abandon certain moral principles - flying, for instance, requires one to "lighten the soul" and "abandon the native soil" (that is, patriotism).
- Master Race: Russians are a uniquely superior nation, whose spirituality gives them (and them alone) protection against dark magic. To give the movie credit, it at least avoids the racial aspect of the concept: the opening narration explicitly states that it is the language, culture and patriotism that makes one Russian, and, conversely, abandoning patriotism robs you of your Russian-ness and your "Russian protection".
- Medium Blending: The animated movie is a flashback, while present events are shown as live-action.
- No-Sell: Professor Kosch's Full Body-Bind Curse does not affect Nadia thanks to her "Russian protection".
- Oddly Overtrained Security: The guards protecting the High Academy of Occult Science are unusually heavily equipped and militarised for a school security force. They wear grey uniforms, are armed with assault rifles and submachine guns, and have the support of NATO naval forces which are only a video call away. The school may have heightened security after apprehending a Russian agent trying to infiltrate the school and in light of the school becoming a venue of the "Global Congress of Wizards".
- Offscreen Romance: Ivan and Asya apparently fall in love and marry between the events of the main story and the present day.
- One-Man Army: Lieutenant Colonel Telegin almost singlehandedly carves his way through the HAOS Security Force and the rest of the Global Congress forces who are stationed inside HAOS before stealing a Global Congress transport helicopter.
- Operation: [Blank]: The Global Congress's naval deployment to protect its conference in HAOS was code-named "Operation: Shield and Ring".
- The Paralyzer: Professor Kosch uses the Full-Body Bind Curse to paralyze Ivan after Arkady reported that he got conceited and therefore lost his "Russian protection," but he couldn't do the same to Nadia because she didn't get conceited enough to lose hers. Furthermore, Ivan regains his protection and returns to normal by repenting.
- Patriotic Fervour: To quote Peter as he approaches Professor McNagaina: "I am ashamed that my country cannot wipe all of you scum out!"
- Philosopher's Stone: Professor Kosch's introductory scene has him teach how to make one; his subjects were alchemy and the theory of greed/wealth. He explains that it can turn any chemical element into gold, then goes into a tangent about how any magic starts with the pursuit of money, and that the students should reach out for money and seek for ways to become wealthy.
- Pretty Boy: Though the animation quality hardly makes any character pretty in the strict sense, Ivan seems to fit the criteria: small, slim physique, youthful face with no facial hair.
- Propaganda Piece: This film is ultra-nationalistic Orthodox Christian anti-magic propaganda peddled to kids to the point of being ridiculous; from Lt. Col. Telegin claiming that The Yugoslav Wars happened because Serbs let the wizards in to Nadia proclaiming she's glad of having been born in Russia while claiming the country alone saved the world from fascism, as an Orthodox Christian nation.
- Recruit Teenagers with Attitude: The Russians sent two teenagers, albeit military cadets, to infiltrate HAOS to rescue Russian orphans from the school. Their inability to infiltrate the school using adults makes it a justified trope.
- "Shaggy Dog" Story: Kupriyanich sent Ivan and Peter to find five Russian orphans in HAOS and convince them to leave the school. However, by the time both friends get there, it's too late; Asya, the first orphan Ivan meets, explains that the other four, Elya, Venia, Arkady, and Slava, already lost their "Russian protection" and become mere Russian speakers before turning into magicians.
- Shout-Out: The protagonists of this movie were rescued in the climax by a military force which conveniently arrived after the protagonists prayed for help, like a certain film with giant mechs and insect-like invaders.
- Sinister Shades: The Global Congress special agents and one of the KLA insurgents wear black sunglasses.
- Soft Glass: Ivan fell or jumped through a glass courtyard dome in HAOS without getting even a single scratch and meets the school staff. When asked his identity, Ivan pretends to be an apprentice of a powerful Altai shaman named Shushurun.
- Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: After Peter assaulted one of his HAOS classmates and Professor McNagaina during a broomstick flying class, he and Nadia promptly surrendered when confronted by submachine gun-wielding HAOS guards as they tried to escape the classroom. Peter and Nadia were subsequently arrested and jailed for assaulting a student and a teacher.
- Take Over the World: As Kupriyanich explains to General Petrovich about the wizards' learning how to penetrate the "Russian protection" and setting up a Global Congress with the help of NATO, the former concludes that if they don't do anything to stop their expansion, they will turn everyone, even Russians, into wizards.note
- Training Montage: One of the film's live-action sections is a blatant promotion of the Suvorov Military School, depicting Russian cadets undergoing military training such as physical workouts, rifle training, and knife-throwing classes.
- Transfer Student Uniforms: Nadia and one unnamed Russian schoolgirl wear their old Russian school uniforms even when attending HAOS classes as students.
- The Unfought: While Leonard is played up as a threat as he sweeps Nadia off her feet with the prospect of learning magic, he is ultimately out of the picture for the rest of the film. The only signs he met his end was in a narration by the campground chief, who tells the cadets that the HAOS didn't forgive Leonard for losing the General's granddaughter. While Leonard tried to take his own life, it was too late and he's said to be "initiated" and eaten by ghouls.
- Wizarding School: The High Academy of Occult Science (HAOS) is a magic school built over a former Nazi base in Scotland, which is ridiculous when taking into account that none of the United Kingdom's territories, save the Channel Islands, fell to the Nazis. Moreover, such a convoluted reason is nothing but yet another thinly-veiled excuse to bash on Harry Potter since Hogwarts is in Scotland as well.
- You Have Failed Me: After the destruction of the HAOS, the Global Congress decided to have Leonard "initiated" and fed to the ghouls.
