Aeons ago, the old gods emerged from the primordial chaos, order was created, and Cronos ruled the world, gobbling his children. And then came Zeus, who dethroned him. Except Cronos is a rapper guy with a clock medallion, and Zeus turns the dwelling of the Gods into a large office managing all of Greece. The story switches between the main action, retelling known Greek legends with a modern twist and the Muses commenting on the events like... well, you know.
The comic used to be located on this
site, which, unfortunately, no longer seems to exist. Fortunately, however, much of the comic seems to have been saved by the Wayback Machine, with most of the saved pages dating back to a surprisingly thorough crawl of the website that happened around October 2012, not long after the comic became Orphaned.
The comic contains some sexual themes and strong language.
This webcomic provides examples of:
- Badass Biker: Subverted. Although Hades does some things that may be considered badass like ruling the Underworld and raising skeletons, next thing you know, he's crying his eyes out after a failed blind date, cuddling a tiny three-headed puppy and awkwardly proposing to Aphrodite.
- Conspiracy Theorist: Urania thinks Aphrodite's going to lead a testicle revolution, or that her mother may have brainwashed mortals into forgetting how to start a fire.
- Cute Monster: Cerberus, described in-universe as "just too cute".
- Cute Monster Girl: Echidna, if you disregard the snake tail and big claws.
- Do Not Attempt: The Napalmolive commercial has a disclaimer dissuading mortal readers from using that shower gel.
- Gag Nose: Aphrodite mocks Hera's large nose, giving her nicknames like "Big Conk".
- Glowing Eyes of Doom: Aphrodite's glow pink.
- Godiva Hair: Aphrodite first appears nude, with her long hair covering her naughty bits.
- Good Old Ways: Clio appears to consider the prehistoric lifestyle as simpler and healthier.
- Goofy Print Underwear: Cronos is depicted with it.
- Human Notepad: Mnemosyne's back has tattoos of things she should try to remember on it. Mundane things. Including one that urges her to "find a solution in case writing space runs out".
- Martial Arts Headband: Worn by Calliope.
- Motor Mouth: Echo, freelance chat-pal. Judging by her glazed stare and wide smile, she may very well fall within Talkative Loon territory
- Perpetual Smiler: Thalia is always depicted smiling or grinning.
- Sexophone: Lampshaded by Euterpe the first time Aphrodite appears to Zeus.
- Shout-Out: A bunch of them (from Terminator to Team Fortress 2).
- Twinkle Smile: Look at the page's image. Baby Hermes doesn't even have teeth, but his gums twinkle.
