Webcomic / NPC

Serena: I'm Serena, an Amazon! And per our rules, the first man to beat us becomes our husband. And you're the first one to ever beat me.
Galandor: I'm not a man...
Serena: You've got a d***, it's the same!

Galandor the orc is wandering the forest one day when he is attacked by the Amazon Serena. After defeating her, he is informed that this makes him her husband, whether he wants it or not. Things get more complicated when they are attacked by an Avatar, a Player Character in an online game. Galandor has little choice but to defend Serena. One thing leads to another, and they end up questing together.

This webcomic provides examples of:

• Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Serena is very annoyed that Galandor has no interest in bedding her. The first night, she jumps into his bed multiple times, and he throws her out every time.
• Attack! Attack! Attack!: Galandor is not impressed by Amazonian battle strategy.
  Serena: Let me demonstrate: Not dead. [kills goblin] Dead! Efficient, huh?
  Galandor: [thinking] The fact that there's a whole village of women like her scares me shitless!
• Badass Bystander: Galandor was once the most overpowered raid boss in the MMO; no one ever managed to defeat him. The devs patched him out, apparently represented by him retiring in the woods.
• Best Her to Bed Her: Amazonian law is that Amazons must marry the first man to defeat them in combat. It doesn't matter if the man was aware of this rule or has any interest in marrying her.
  Serena: I was patrolling around my village as usual...
  Galandor: So far, so good...
  Serena: And then I saw you and I fought you.
  Galandor: Yeah, I remember that part.
  Serena: And since you managed to beat me, now you're my husband.
  Galandor: Wait, what the hell is that shitty logic?
• Big-Breast Pride: Serena is very proud of her boobs. Galandor just wishes she would stop flashing him.
• Big Eater: Serena is less than half Galandor's size, but she eats the entire werewolf he had planned to eat himself.
• Deconstructive Parody: Of MMOs, with some early digs at the Rescue Romance trope.
• Everybody Calls Him "Barkeep": Galandor and Serena just call each other "Orc" and "Amazon." The person Serena gets her quests from lampshades that this isn't exactly a sign of a healthy relationship.
• G.I.R.L.: Sasuke86, a guy, switches to a female spellcasting avatar in order to get an edge on Galandor, and reveals having to have done some embarrassing stuff with other players (with the aid of voice-changing software) in order to afford new equipment. One of 'her' online boyfriends takes it badly when he finds out. Subverted when she's actually female in real life, and her male avatar was the gender swap.
• Going Commando: Early on, Serena tries to seduce Galandor by not wearing panties. In a skirt.
  Galandor: How the hell did you survive until now? And close your legs up!
• I'm a Humanitarian: Subverted: Galandor has strong moral objections against eating other intelligent creatures, despite being an orc. When he realizes that the werewolves he's been hunting and eating can talk and have names, he's deeply disturbed by his own actions. Conversely, Serena has no objections to it.
• Loveable Sex Maniac: Serena is absolutely shameless about what she wants.
• No Guy Wants an Amazon: Played for Laughs. Galandor doesn't seem to want anyone, but he is constantly annoyed that his "wife" is a thick-skulled Amazon who wouldn't know tactics if it hit her upside the head.
• Unknown Rival: Pauline has sworn revenge on him for destroying her original guild with his unbalanced power, then escaping vengeance by getting patched out. He doesn't know anything about this. Also, Serena wants revenge on the "female level 70 avatar" who defeated her and nearly killed Galandor.
• Would Hit a Girl: Galandor doesn't attack women, but he's willing to defend himself when one attacks him.