Bite Me!
is a now complete humorous webcomic/novel by Dylan Meconis, set during the The French Revolution involving a group of vampires and a werewolf working together to save the rest of their coven. The cast include Claire, a humorously crazy bar wench with pro-Revolutionary sentiments; Lucien, an intellectual Friendly Neighborhood Vampire, Ginevra, a snooty aristocratic vampire who's pretty much The Baroness; Luther, a grumpy and cynical werewolf who is an old friend of Lucien (both characters appear somewhat differently in the webcomic Family Man (Dylan Meconis)); and Audric, the de facto leader of French vampires, who is a whimsical Bishōnen described on the cast page as an Evil Overlord. Not to be confused with the web original series Bite Me- The Gamer's Zombie Apocalypse.
A backup can be found here.
Provides examples of:
- Big Beautiful Woman: Ginevra is rather heavyset, but also quite beautiful.
- Bilingual Backfire: Luther's habit of insulting people in High German, when it turns out Claire (of all people) speaks the language.
- Book Ends: Vive la revolution!
- Fur Against Fang: Averted, since Luther is a good friend of some of the vampires. However, in terms of personal style/appearance, the comic plays the Slobs Versus Snobs of werewolves and vampires pretty straight.
- Hurricane of Euphemisms: For beheading, many of which are actually historical.
- Innocent Innuendo: Lucien uses his sword.
- Late-Arrival Spoiler: Claire becomes a vampire pretty early into the comic. Also, reading Family Man (Dylan Meconis) after this kind of spoils that series. While that is Alternate Continuity, you'd know immediately that Lucien is a vampire and not just a guy who happens to be disliked by dogs and who avoids sunlight.
- Locked into Strangeness: Supplies the page quote for that trope. Becoming a vampire made Lucien gain a skunk stripe and made Audric's hair turn completely white. Audric claims that pre-vampirization, Ginevra was a man, but he turns out to be just joking.
- Noodle Implements: Claire lists the things she needs to create an instant riot, and it's heavily suggested she's no stranger to doing this kind of thing. Don't forget the spoon.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Claire is a lot smarter than she looks.
- Our Vampires Are Different: They're Bram Stoker (or perhaps more pointedly Anne Rice) vampires with all of the classic weaknesses and even lack some of the strengths (while they can do a Charm Person, it's not shown whether or not they have a shapeshifting abilities).
- Parody Sue: The reveal of Claire's backstory probably makes her this.
- The Reveal Prompts Romance: Lucien's reaction to Claire's backstory seems to be this.
- Sliding Scale of Vampire Friendliness: While played for laughs, the vampires here are probably pretty low on the scale. They are explicitly described as/describe themselves as servants of Satan and need blood to survive (although they probably don't always need to kill victims).
- Vampires Are Rich: All of the vampires shown fit this except Claire, and even that's ultimately arguable. For those whose backstories are given, they were aristocrats before becoming vampires.
- Vampires Own Nightclubs: As seen in the epilogue, Ginevra ultimately fits this in the present.
- "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue
- Weird Trade Union: There is apparently an International Society of Riot Inciters, according to Claire, and her application to it was rejected because she was "too revolutionary" even for them. She also describes at length the difference between a riot and a mob, and all the procedure involved in setting up the latter. She reveals in the same rant that "execution specialists" apparently have to be board-certified.
- Your Vampires Suck: A thread of humor throughout.
- Of particular note is the fact that when the main characters finally rescue their coven, each of the totally-out-to-lunch non-protagonist vampires turns out to be a parody of one Anne Rice character type or another.
- Also, one of the bits of swag the author includes with print editions is a bumper sticker that says Real Vampires DON'T FRICKING SPARKLE.
- You're Cute When You're Angry: Claire thinks that
Ginevra is cute when she's mad.
