"You know, I get a lot of people asking me about stuff I hate now. You know, they'll write to me and say, 'Hey, what do you think about deforestation?' . . . Just about anything you can think of. And that's cool, because now it's like my job to hate shit, and I'm good at it, so it's all cool."
—2 the Ranting Gryphon, "Abortions"
Matthew Davis, better known as 2, the Ranting Gryphon, is a furry comedian whose specialty is amusing, often profanity-laced commentary on various subjects that annoy, infuriate, and otherwise perturb him. As demonstrated by the page quote, it's pretty much his job to hate various things, and he's good at it.
2 is also a Nazi, and quite proud and vocal about it.
Tropes observed in 2's rants include:
- Animation Age Ghetto: His rant on Zootopia was about an experience where he saw the titular movie by himself, only for a woman to treat him with suspicion of being a child molester because he was there alone. 2 spends the rest of the rant arguing against the mentality that animation is only for children."You can eat all of my personal dick, because I like cartoons!"
- Berserk Button: Whatever the subject of his rant happens to be, but a few have stuck out over the years.
- The excuse of "it's so horrible I can't look away" when justifying looking at something gross or disturbing. 2 says "the rest of us got over that psychology ages ago."
- People who use beliefs to mock or belittle everyone else. He once performed a rant on a furry who thought he was actually a dragon, and everyone else was too "close-minded" to see his true form, causing 2 to poke massive holes in that argument.
- The opinion that "cartoons are for kids." He devoted an entire rant to this based on an experience from a movie theater after watching Zootopia, and usually ends his stand-up comedy specials arguing against this mindset.
- Big "NO!": In one version of his "Accidental Toast" rant:"Hey, stop that toast!""We can't! There will be toast!"
- Card-Carrying Villain: Played with; in his "Portal of Evil" rant, he says that he must officially be evil because the Portal of Evil had an article on him.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Most of his rants and routines can be considered this, though there are a few that fall more into the Precision F-Strike territory.
- Everyone Has Standards: 2 once made it very clear that when he rants, one line he will never cross with the concept is doing it purely for personal profit.
- Furry Fandom: He's very open about it, to the point that several of his rants are centered around it. He's ranted before about furry conventions, furry roleplays, and the perception of furries in general.
- The Grinch: He's done two separate rants on Christmas, one calling it over-commercialized and another asking "is twenty-four hours a year [of kindness] really all we can manage to squeeze out?"
- I Know Your True Name: Defied. 2 has ranted before about how people think that knowing his real name is "Matthew Davis" somehow has a power over him. While pretty much everyone calls him "2" (including his own mother), he doesn't really mind being referred to as "Matthew"; he'd just prefer you call him "2" instead.
- Lighter and Softer: Several of his rants and rant videos are about personal annoyances that he's encountered as opposed to cultural problems. One rant was about how a woman annoyed him when he was trying to buy olives at a grocery store.
- Metaphorgotten: He kind of loses the plot towards the end of his rant about yiffing (specifically, that he wishes people would put more effort into it). 2 then just ends the rant, saying he wants everyone to pretend he was going somewhere with it.
- Naytheist: He was once studying to be a preacher. Not anymore; he's swung all the way to gnostic atheism, where he thinks there is no God but admits that he's not sure.
- Precision F-Strike: The "Global Warming" rant - as opposed to most of his rants, it has precisely three pieces of profanity: two "craps" and one "dumbasses".
- Rant Comedy: Well, he is 2, the Ranting Gryphon (emphasis on "ranting"). Much of his more popular work comes from ranting about topics he doesn't like.
- Stop Being Stereotypical: His rant on gay pride. As a gay man himself, 2 agrees with the stated goal of acceptance and less discrimination for LBGT people. However, 2 also believes that gay pride parades are just making things worse, since members of the pride parades are "making it look like the rainbow limp-wristed S&M apocalypse is coming" and interfering with people's daily lives.
