Who doesn't love a big, thick, honking dose of the Internet?
"What's pipin' dudes and dudettes? I found this totally lame/tubular video cassette lurking in my attic and if you're completely incompetent at surfing the cyber monsoon known as the net, you really need to take a gander bro!"
— The video's description.
Before there was Scott The Woz, there was The Internet And You.
The Internet And You
is a 30-minute short film made by Scott Wozniak as both the first of his 'Originals' series, and the very first video uploaded to his channel. It started life as part of a presentation for school, but when that didn't quite work out, the project slowly took a life of its own and became a full-blown comedic short film that he and his friends put together in their own spare time. It follows the adventures of Abraham Ethernet and Net-Meister 4089 across the internet, serving as a spoof of '90s educational videos. It was uploaded on July 26, 2016.
From November to December of 2019, as part of the "Scott The Woz Merchandise For Charity Bonanza 2019" event, the web video was rereleased on VHS, with all profits going to charity. A small batch of extras from 2019 were sold at the 2020 event, and it was rereleased one last time in 2021 as an 'Anniversary Edition,' including a clamshell VHS case, as well as extra goodies.
The short film provides examples of:
- Anachronism Stew: Despite supposedly taking place in the '90s, the cast can be seen using the Internet on a very modern flat screen iMacnote . Also lampshaded when Abraham is instructed to open a new tab, but doesn't know what Net-Meister is talking about due to tabbed browsing not becoming a thing until later.
- Animate Inanimate Object: Zig-zagged. It's unclear if Earl and his son are the laptops, or the people being broadcasted from the laptops.
- Artistic License – Geography: Played for Laughs. Captain Dial-Up provides internet to Abraham and Net-Meister by taking it from China, which is labeled "East Korea" in the map.
- Aspect Ratio Switch: In contrast to the 4:3 ratio used during the scenes set in the surface web, scenes set in the deep web switch to 16:9 widescreen.
- Big Bad: Mr. Bandwidth, the ruler of the deep web and the man behind its menacing expansion.
- "Blind Idiot" Translation: The introductory video to the deep web is subtitled in somewhat broken and Google Translated Spanish (and also Gratuitous Japanese at one point).
- Deliberate VHS Quality: The first half of this video is in this format. It wasn't until the characters travel into the deep web that the video quality suddenly changes into something out of a modern video camera. Also, the entire short itself actually ended up receiving limited releases on actual VHS tapes during Scott's charity fundraisers.
- Department of Redundancy Department: Dr. USB has the following to say when Abe and Net-Meister ask about his knowledge of USBs:
- "Everybody Dies" Ending: By detonating eGrope's emotional self-destruct button, Mr. Bandwidth destroys the entire internet, and everyone within it, including himself.
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: Abraham throws a deep web school study material in the garbage bin, complaining that he went to the wrong class. The camera then peers into the bin, showing that the study material is titled "HISTORY OF HENTAI — By Roald Dahl".
- The Ghost: Lieutenant JPEG is mentioned as the person attacking Abraham and Net-Meister in the social media, but they never actually appear in the short.
- His Name Really Is "Barkeep": Captain Dial-Up introduces himself to Earl, who reminds him that telling anyone your real name in the deep web is forbidden, to which Captain Dial-Up reassures him that it's just an alias. Captain Dial-Up then excuses himself before secretly destroying his birth certificate, which has "Captain Dial-Up" written on it.
- Historical Domain Character: Larry Tesler is based on an American computer scientist of the same name. He and a colleague developed the copy-paste functionality for computers, hence Copy Paste Repeat considering him as his father.
- I Choose to Stay: After Mr. Bandwidth begins destroying the deep web, Abraham and Net-Meister tells Copy Paste Repeat to join them in escaping, but he declines to stay with his father, Larry Tesler, who is imprisoned in the deep web.
- Idiosyncratic Wipes: Each "section" of the video is preceded by a segue where a giant Windows cursor flies by as the Windows 95 startup sound plays (albeit obnoxiously loud for comedic effect) while the title of the section is displayed alongside a humorous subtitle of some sort.
- Mood Whiplash: Twice.
- Abraham and Net-Meister's journey through the social media was suddenly interrupted by an attack from Lieutenant JPEG. What follows is a scene straight out of a war movie, which ended with Net-Meister being wounded and Abraham exclaiming that he has to amputate him. They're both fine in the very next scene.
- Immediately after the light-hearted scene with Captain Dial-Up at the library, Dr. USB busts in and tells everyone that Bluetooth is in critical condition. Bluetooth then dies shortly after.
- Mythology Gag: Minor characters Barack and Ronaldo are first introduced in a video Scott made four years before this short film was released.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Abraham kicking eGrope out of the surface web causes eGrope to get inside the deep web, which powers it greatly and causes it to start breaching into the surface web.
- Outrun the Fireball: Abraham and Net-Meister attempt to escape the explosion that destroys the deep web. They fail because the explosion managed to engulf both the deep web and the surface web.
- Re-Release Soundtrack: A VHS copy of the video was produced in limited qualities for a 2019 charity fundraiser, and again in 2021. Both releases replace most of the music used due to fear of potential copyright issues, though the original version remains on YouTube, and retains the original copyrighted music.
- Retraux: The entire gist of this short. Most of the shots have a VHS filter over it, and Abraham Ethernet uses plenty of '90s lingo.
- Super Zeroes: Captain Dial-Up, who doesn't really do much other than what his namesake implies. The only things he do is providing internet in the library and bricking Mr. Bandwidth's dial-up connection by using a landline.
- Theme Naming: Every character's name in the short (except for Barack and Ronaldo) has a computer or internet based term in it, like Abraham Ethernet, Captain Dial-Up, and so on. In Larry Tesler's case, he was named and modeled after an American computer scientist of the same name.
- "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: The short film ends by listing of what every character (except Mr. Bandwidth) had learnt, and listing all of them as "deceased".
- Withholding Their Name: Justified when the characters have to travel to the deep web, as revealing your true name in the deep web will cause you to be found out and arrested.
