Kalinka is a Time Lord.
What, she's seen her father die thirty years ago despite that she doesn't even look like she's even thirty years old, let alone old enough for that much time to have passed since her father's death. This takes place in the same universe as Countdown to Final Crisis
Well, what else has a story that can't even be bothered to be consistent with itself?! This is all a dream of the characters from the games.
And they couldn't be more happy to wake up from it. Hey, it's not like I blame them!That or Princess. The Princess is actually Helmeted Author's girlfriend/wife.
Princess attempted to take over the comic at some point, while Helmut is also responsible for some of the chaos that occurs in the Bob and George universe.