Other places on the page point out that Elspeth's automatic reaction to any kind of manipulation borders on Idiot Ball - i.e. she could have had training with the former Skybolt Quenten (who now runs his own mage school), but once she finds out the Companions planned it that way, she throws a hissy fit and drags Skif and their Companions off the the Pelagirs to find the Tayledras. But why is Elspeth that way? Well, let's look back to the very first book, when we're introduced to Elspeth, who at the age of seven is already known throughout the Heraldic Circle as The Royal Brat. In fact, it's so bad that the prologue to Arrow's Flight says outright that one of the main reasons Talia was Chosen was because she had the childcare training necessary to tame Elspeth.
This can be traced straight back to her nursemaid, Hulda, who is not only working with Orthallen to corrupt and manipulate the Royal line of Valdemar (remember, Orthallen wanted his nephew Kris to marry Selenay and be named Consort in Exile's Valor, and he was one of the candidates to replace Elspeth as Heir), she was also an Agent of the Empire, working to destabilise the whole group of countries surrounding Valdemar, as part of a long-term expansion project - and a mage. As part of her schemes, she either gives the Chief nursemaid Melody a stroke, or takes advantage of her having one, constantly giving her medicine that helps keep her befuddled and easy to distract and push around. It's a blink and you'll miss it moment, but at one point Melody starts to refuse the 'medicine', and as Skif recounts 'I'd swear she used magic - like the old tales - to force her to take it'. Granted, this could be Early-Installment Weirdness, as this was the very first book and Lackey hadn't worked out all the details of the magic system yet. But if there's anyone in the series with both the mental acuity and the magical knowledge to work out how to get around the barriers to magic in Valdemar, it was probably Hulda. Given that manipulation of Elspeth was her main task, what are the chances she worked out how to plant a subconscious command - or even an outright spoken order, backed by magic or even her own mind-magic - along the lines of 'do what I say, no matter what'? This causes a feedback loop in Elspeth's mind to be resistant to orders in self-preservation, especially once Hulda abandons her and her malicious motives come to light, possibly powered by Elspeth's own Magical ability (which, like Talia's Empathy, no one knew how to train properly in the Heralds at that point - she was thought to be a FarSeer, remember). Which could be only increased once Hulda's (they think at the time) master is revealed - Lord Orthallen, who has successfully deceived and manipulated Elspeth's grandfather and mother as well as Elspeth herself, and did it so subtly that not even the Companions could come up with a reason to interfere with him.
Talia's 'taming' of Elspeth worked because she didn't ever say 'Because I said so' or similar; she simply forced Laser-Guided Karma on Elspeth, free of royal privilege, with continuous teaching of 'everyone has to act to a certain standard, following laws and being considerate of others, and so do you', complete with positive reinforcement. If anyone had considered having Elspeth seeing a MindHealer after Hulda's escape, or even after Lord Orthallen's betrayal was revealed (remember, he'd been considered an honorary uncle by both Selenay and Elspeth), it might have been discovered and worked through; but then, it's implied that MindHealers are so rare there might not have been any available, even for the Heir - in the early scenes of Arrow's Fall, it's said that the only two in Haven are Talia herself (who, at the stages mentioned previously was either neglectfully untrained or busy recovering from torture and nearly dying) and a Healer even younger than herself. Not to mention, for some reason (quite possibly Lord Orthallen covering his bases) no one in the immediate Royal Circle at the time, even the Heralds, seems to have much experience with children and how trauma in their early years can affect them later. Yes, that includes Queen Selenay, who honestly seems to have had little to do with Elspeth on any level until she's Chosen.
- This makes perfect sense and I'd be willing to buy into this IF Lackey had at any point indicated that this was going on. Unfortunately, there are two reasons I'm inclined to think otherwise.
- Elspeth's characterization has been all over the board. She's been whatever the story most requires. She was the Royal Brat initially, and then a sweet young thing who was too easily seduced by the wrong guy, and then a competent but inexperienced fighter, and then suddenly a strong-willed woman who hated anyone making her decisions for her. It's not until Mage Winds is over and she's matured a bit that her characterization solidifies into "Pragmatic Hero with a touch of Good Is Not Nice". And given that Lackey had to get them to k'Sheyna to meet Darkwind, her move in Winds of Fate strikes me as yet another use of Elspeth as plot device rather than person.
- Lackey has a habit of using an Ass Pull as a way to indicate that a character has "grown up" and is now an adult. Compare Trevan and Jisa from the Last Herald-Mage trilogy. When that character does it, the narrative makes it clear that you're supposed to see this as mature agency and not a grab for the Conflict Ball... no matter how little sense it makes.
- It could be much simpler than Hulda planting some loop that makes Elspeth resist. Instead, it could be the basic fact that Hulda manipulated her and twisted her almost to the point she wouldn't be Chosen, and Elspeth's resistance is just a straight-up desire to never be used like that again with a residual psychological trauma. Someone during her earliest formative years tried to warp her into what that person wanted her to be, and she doesn't want to let anyone have that kind of control again, even if it's her Companion and the Heralds.
- I'm willing to grant you this, though: when Mornelithe Falconsbane unwillingly enters Ancar's service, he tries seduction and manipulation and comes up hard against unexpected resistance. This clues him in that Hulda had previously employed those tactics on Ancar, and that Ancar had learned defenses against them. So if Lackey ever connected those two dots, this wouldn't be a wild mass guess at all; it'd be canon. Since she doesn't, I'm free to see Elspeth's actions as a grab at the Conflict Ball that serves the plot.
In the Winds trilogy Elspeth has little love for Selenay in turn and even wishes they weren't related. Given her Mind-gifts, she may have sensed Selenay's indifference as a child and found it hurtful. Acting out may have started as a way to get her attention, even if it was negative.
Selenay has more children with Daren. They get very little focus, just a note that the twins are beloved by Companions. Maybe Daren is someone capable of loving outside of the Companion and Life-bonds, or maybe they're all just more careful about who raises them. Real-life royalty often totally outsourced the raising and nurturing of children to servants, but it seems cold for ideals-heavy Valdemar.
This does also suggest that Heralds who aren't compelled to produce heirs don't often have children. Between the other demands on their time and the inability to feel the parental bond they would be benignly absentee at best.
