Post release theories
Hat Kid is a lot older than she looks.
She meddles with time regularly, is completely literate despite her apparent age, capable of maintaining a space/time ship on her own, and she's able to sign a legally binding contract with a supernatural entity. All the evidence points to the possibility that Hat Kid is actually an adult mind in a childish body thanks to her use of time-based powers over an extended period of time. That or her species ages really, really slowly. Hat Kid is a Time Lord.
Because let's be honest, a Human Alien with a time-traveling spaceship is a lot more proof than most "[x] is a time lord" theories get.- Also, her ship is LITERALLY powered by time.
- Could also explain her overly mature behavior as mentioned above. Perhaps her latest regeneration skewed really young.
- This also explains the design of her ship. The outside of the ship isn't the correct shape to hold the interior, but if her spaceship is really a TARDIS, it's more than likely that the interior of the ship is held inside a pocket dimension. It also explains her impossible competency. Gallifreyans who are accepted into the Time Lord Academy tend to be really smart and capable, even at a young age.
Why Queen Vanessa doesn't appear in the Finale.
Despite being an important character to the story of Subcon, Queen Vanessa is nowhere to be seen in the Finale. While it could be because she was far too terrifying for Mustache Girl to deal with, here's an alternate idea. Queen Vanessa did show up to Mustache Girl's Castle like all of the other characters in the game. However, she was one of the first to show up, and therefore, near the front of the line. By the time Hat Kid shows up to Mustache Girl's Castle, Queen Vanessa had already been judged. If a Mafia Goon was executed for punching an old man for two days, there's absolutely no way Queen Vanessa would have been let go. Since the events of the Finale were reset after defeating the final boss, Vanessa was probably revived after Mustache Girl's defeat.- This can be expanded to explain why the Empress from the Nyakusa Metro chapter also wouldn't appear, because she too most likely arrived early and tried to bribe Mustache Girl into letting her go free - but such a bribe, as well as the fact that she is the head of the Nyakusa, possibly would had led to swift judgement.
- It might also explain why the Captain and the Seals don't appear, although for opposite reasons. More than likely, Mustache Girl let him walk since he didn't really do anything wrong outside of letting "bad guys" on his ship, which can be easily explained as it just being business. And, come on, as incompetent as they are, can you really claim the seals are evil?
Mustache Girl will be behind the strife of at least one of the Content Update worlds.
- Jossed - both The Artic Cruise and Nyakusa Metro have no signs of Mustache Girl (outside of the stickers of the latter) but in both cases, Hat Kid inadvertently triggers the strife in the last act of each chapter, crashing the S.S. Literally Can't Sink in the former, and stealing back her Time Pieces in the latter, only to be found out by the Empress who puts a bounty on her as a result.
The Empress used to be poor, and Had to Be Sharp to survive.
The Conductor is depressed and borderline suicidal.
There are several details sprinkled in the game that suggested that the Conductor has some form of depression, and is borderline suicidal (some more obvious than others).- In the "Train Rush" mission, one of the express owls comments that there are no stops on the schedule (implying that the Conductor wasn't expecting to live through the shooting of the film).
- There's his heavy drinking in the "Seal the Deal" DLC on the cruise ship.
- In the Finale, he himself remarks life isn't worth living without his train (right before he and DJ Grooves punch each other out to help Hat Kid defeat Mustache Girl).
- In the title card for the Death Wish "Boss Rush" mission (the one depicting the Snatcher controlling the other boss characters like puppets on strings), the Conductor is the only one who has a string wrapped around his neck, while the other bosses just have strings around their wrists.
Hat Kid betrayed the Empress to not only get her Time Pieces back, but was worried she'd once again get double-crossed, herself.
It's no secret Hat Kid has rotten luck when it comes to meeting new people, specifically after they learn about the power of the Time Pieces and what they could do with them (Mustache Girl wanting to get rid of the Mafia, the winning bird director wanting to fix a past mistake, and the Snatcher believing the hourglasses are his property). And every time her "friends" learn about the Time Pieces' powers, they inevitably turn on her or try and kill her. Fast forward to Nyakuza Metro, where Hat Kid is forced to hand over the Time Pieces she finds to the Empress. Despite this, the two seem to have a friendly working relationship (though mostly one-sided, as the Empress sees great opportunity for the little girl, while Hat Kid grows more annoyed with her Time Pieces being taken away).
Too familiar with betrayal, Hat Kid suspects the Empress will turn on her when/if she learns about the Time Pieces' power, or get rid of her when she outlives her usefulness. So rather than let the gang leader betray her, Hat Kid strikes first to secure her Time Pieces.
Whether the Empress was or wasn't going to double-cross Hat Kid, however, is hard to say.
Queen Vanessa killed her own mother.
In one of her diary entries, Vanessa writes that her mother had "something of an accident", and she was crowned queen soon after. It's not hard to assume she killed her own mother to assume the throne; however, she complains that she wouldn't be able to be her prince's "princess" anymore. Given her other journal entries, storybook pages, and how she'll gleefully murder anyone who steps into her home, it's likely that Vanessa murdered her mother (either by accident or with intent) out of the jealous belief that her mother had her eye on the prince, too. Possible reasons the Snatcher forbade Hat Kid from using her hats and umbrella while inside Vanessa's Manor
Gameplay-wise, the reason Hat Kid can't use her weapons is to force her into hiding while being chased by Vanessa, as she has no real means of defending herself now. But there are many possible reasons why the Snatcher forbade her from using her items from a lore perspective:- He wanted to make her job that much harder For the Evulz.
- He knew Hat Kid wouldn't be able to stand up against Vanessa in a straight fight, even with her hats and umbrella. So he decided to remove any possibility of getting herself killed if she decided to fight Vanessa.
- He wanted to give her a taste of the pain, suffering, and helplessness he endured just before his death at the hands of his former lover.
- He still has some feelings for Vanessa, and he couldn't bear to have her hurt in any way.
- He was testing out her abilities and capabilities; how she'd be able to handle herself without use of her hats and umbrella. That way, he can be ready to deal with her when her jobs were done.
The Dead Bird Studios boss fight is another movie shooting
Both DJ Grooves and the Conductor are movie directors, and they seem to be friends (if highly competitive ones), so it's not beyond possibility that the boss battle against one of them is actually staged.In fact, they've been planning a collaborative movie starring both of them for a while. Their initial script involved Grooves winning an award, then letting success go to his head, with the Conductor bringing him back down to earth in the climax; however, Hat Kid's arrival gave them another actor to integrate- one that doesn't risk ruining their Kayfabe status as arch-enemies. Furthermore, the Conductor potentially winning the award despite the script means that they might have to improvise even more to keep the plot the same while switching their roles. Hat Kid's obvious desire for Time Pieces just gives them a MacGuffin to justify her participation in the events of said plot; they may not even be aware that it can genuinely do the things they claim to want it for.
Hat Kid and Bow Kid are the same person
She's a Time Lord, after all. At some point, she'll regenerate into Bow Kid, and travel back in time to help her past self. Hat Kid is slightly younger than she looks
The reason she dislikes toilets has nothing to do with any sort of alien biology and is instead simply because she's 2-4 and has just started potty training. Let's be real here, this is at least as believable as the obligatory time lord theory.Sequel theories
If a sequel is made, the Empress will be the Big Bad
This just makes sense to me. The Empress has the power to spread across the planet if she wanted and she's also just about the only character who Hat Kid parted with on bad terms and with no real resolution unlike the other bosses. She might try to attack Hat Kid's friends in order to lure her back to the planet to take revenge on her.- There's also the fact that she knows the Time Pieces and her backstory and motivations are unexplored in Nyakuza Metro, which is perfect for a sequel to expand and capitalize upon. Perhaps there is more to her than meets the eye.
Mustache Girl will become The Atoner in a sequel
Due to feeling guilty over her actions and realizing that her actions weren't very heroic, she would attempt to turn over a new leaf and become an ally to Hat Kid.Bow Kid will gain more unique attributes to separate her from Hat Kid
Similar to how Luigi eventually develop his own attributes after Super Mario Bros., Bow Kid will have the same evolution, gaining more unique attributes and moves to separate her from Hat Kid. Going off the above, Mustache Girl will be Promoted to Playable
Since her boss fight showed that she has a lot of the same moves as Hat Kid, it isn't too much of a stretch to say that if she does pull a Heel–Face Turn, she becomes a playable character. Going off the above, Mustache Girl will be a Little Stowaway
Using the power of a Time Piece, she will travel back to the seconds before Hat Kid left the first game's planet, and sneak aboard her ship. Her stated goal is to gather Time Pieces again to regain her lost power, but along the way she will learn about humility, and possibly also the reason why it's *bad* to overuse them.