VGA Miner (or Miner VGA) is a top-down strategy game released in 1989 for DOS.
A game where you buy equipment, then head beneath the town (built over an very strong layer of rock) and do mining in order to become rich and marry Mimi, the woman of your dreams. You have to earn $20,000 and a diamond ring, as she is the owner of a brothel and wouldn't want to use her God-given talents on just one man otherwise. The game's title of course boasts that the game's VGA, but not in the traditional definition (it sacrifices color for resolution, so while you'd expect VGA games to be 320x200 256-color, this one is 640×480 16-color).
This Video Game contains examples of:
- ASCII Art: If you die, you get an ASCII tombstone reading, "Here lies a brave miner. He died with his tool in his hand, for the love of sweet Miss Mimi. His Bank Account was (amount)"
- A Winner Is You: When you present yourself to Mimi with the ring and at least $20K, you get a black screen with the text "You have won the game! And Later... In Your Nuptial Bed..." as the William Tell Overture plays.
- Cash Gate: Aside from the main goal of the game being to accrue $20K (plus the ring), you can't even enter the saloon until you have at least $5K, and Mimi won't even see you without at least $10K in hand.
- Excuse Plot: You are trying to get enough money from mining (and get a diamond ring) to marry Mimi.
- Four-Leaf Clover: One of the items found underground is a four-leaf clover which supposedly improves your luck.
- Game Over: Comes in two flavors, one if you die (because of continually running into mining hazards), and one if you fall too deep in debt (the bank will only spot you $100 before ending the game).
- Here There Be Dragons: If you try to go beyond the limits of the play field, the message "Here be dragons..." is displayed.
- Hit Points: The player character starts at 100% health and can take a bit of damage.
- Intimate Healing: The "audience with Mimi" option in the saloon heals you by 2% (up to a maximum of 115%) if you have at least $10,000 in hand - no hospital or spending needed. However, the "night to remember" option gives you 20% damage if you didn't think to buy a condom first as you catch a VD.
- Lemony Narrator: The narrator can be snarky, with lines like "You can't fly, dummy" and "Try the elevator" if you try to go up or down in town.
- Luck-Based Mission: Hazards can pop up anywhere in the mine. Hope a cave-in or a spring doesn’t park itself in the way of the elevator shaft or directly underneath the outhouse, since that's where you have to dynamite in order to get the diamond ring.
- Meatgrinder Surgery: Asking for a surgery at the hospital does heal you slightly, even though Woody's (the surgeon's) razor is rusty. That said, if your health is below a certain amount, you have to have the surgery in order to be able to have the bedrest to get healed the rest of the way.
- Public Domain Soundtrack: If you win the game, you're treated to a PC speaker rendition of the William Tell Overture.
- Save-Game Limits: You can only save or restore the game when you're in town, not underground.
- Shout-Out: To The Hobbit when the game ends:— Thanks for playing Miner VGA. Hope you had a good time. May the hair on your toes never fall off... Frodo
