Video Game / Steamshovel Harry

Steamshovel Harry is a flash game. You play as Steamshovel Harry who, as part of Near-Earth-Defense force, needs to stop the Paramilitary Asteriod Miners, who have launched a missile towards Earth, from destroying the planet. You have ten minutes.

WARNING: Play the game here before you read further, lest you Go Mad from the Revelation.

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Tropes present in Steamshovel Harry.

• invokedAnnoying Video Game Helper: Deconstructed. At least it tries to, the game ends before they've gotten started at it.
• Autotune: Used a lot in the main theme of the game.
• The Bad Guy Wins: P.A.M. successfully blows up Earth before Harry can actually do anything because the tutorial wasted all his time.
• Big Bad: The Paramilitary Asteroid Miners, or P.A.M., are the group who launched the missile towards Earth that Steamshovel Harry is trying to stop, though it hits before Harry even gets through the tutorial.
• Crapsack World: A giant Spider King has taken over, there's an unchecked plague, "boiling seas and blood-red sky." Suddenly, inevitably being wiped out doesn't sound so bad.
• Deconstruction Game: To forced and overly long tutorials. The tutorial is so long that it gives the missile enough time to crash into Earth before Harry can even go a single step.
• Department of Redundancy Department:
  It's got oceans for swimming!
  Not acid for dying!
  There's a moon
  And some grass
  Lots of water too
  And more grass
• Double Jump: The realistic implementation of physics allows Harry to do this by grabbing objects and throwing them down. He can also throw things upwards to jump less high. At least, that's what the tutorial claims- you never get the chance to try it.
• The End of the World as We Know It: What Steamshovel Harry is trying to prevent. He fails, thanks to the overly long tutorial.
• Everything Is Trying to Kill You: Including physics and the tutorial itself; the latter ultimately succeeding.
• Exact Words: The theme song repeatedly says, "Physics are gonna kill you Harry!" Technically, they do - because the tutorial includes a physics lesson - and a love song to physics - that contribute to a runtime of about ten minutes - and guess how much time Harry has to save the world?
• Fake Interactivity: The "game" itself turns out to have no interactivity beyond clicking the "next" button between each section of the tutorial and buying equipment, because once the game actually begins, Harry is killed once he takes a single step forward.
• Forced Tutorial: Deconstructed. The tutorial is very long and features explanations of how different things such as throwing items and standing on different-sized asteroids can affect jump physics. By the time the tutorial's over, the missile's already landed.
• Giant Spider: They are present in this game. They're on the good side/friendly, unlike most cases.
• Intercourse with You: Part of the tutorial theme is taken up by the singer singing about how he can't wait to make love to physics.
• Man on Fire: Look closely at the Helper Spider once the nuke hits Earth, you'll see that he's on fire.
• Made of Iron: One wonders what Steamshovel Harry is made of considering that he seems no worse for the wear when the nuke hits Earth, while the Helper Spider on the other hand bursts into flames.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero:
  • The planetary anthem goes:
    We'll find a cure for that Plague
    We have to admit that was our mistake
  • Also, the tiresomely long tutorial takes up those 10 minutes that Steamshovel Harry was supposed to use to save Earth.
• Poison Is Corrosive: The Spider King's jaws can dissolve anything.
• Running Gag: Characters saying they have to explain things as quickly as possible, only to end up wasting even more of your time.
• Stupidity Is the Only Option: You have to sit through the tutorial, even though doing so will allow the missile to destroy Earth. You can't even attempt to go "Screw This, I'm Outta Here" and fly off.
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: The lyrics describing Earth seem to have a lot of this.
• Talking Is a Free Action: Averted hard. The overly long tutorial ultimately leads to the missile hitting Earth.
• Timed Mission: You have ten minutes. The tutorial has barely let you walk a single step before you are out of time.
• Unwinnable by Design: The entire game.
• Unwinnable Joke Game: The entire point here.
• Wreaking Havok: According to the tutorials, throwing items affects your jump height. Also, the theme song repeatedly warns you that "Physics are gonna kill you Harry!" To be fair, it's not physics, but rather the tutorial itself that kills him.

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