We begin your journey from when you're conceived.
Where your life goes from there, you will never believe.
All people lead different lives. The direction they take is decided by your actions, your successes, and your failures. But what if your life was only really changed at a few crucial moments, and what if all those lives were just long series of WTF moments? In this flash game, you are armed with only the arrow and X keys, as you raise your character from the foetal stage as a man, woman, or a two-torsoed gender hybrid. With Egoraptor as your host, a line of minigames unfolds, taking you through the strangest of misadventures, to unlock 29 different endings.
This game provides examples of:
- Back-Alley Doctor: Dr. Party, who takes care of an operation meant to separate you and your sister in one of the paths. Whether he succeeds or fails depends on your actions. Let him screw up and watch your life go down the shitter (Though at least you have one last chance to make it a Bittersweet Ending after that).
- Conjoined Twins: One possible result when attempting to fight off the opposing sperm in the first minigame.
- Cutting Off the Branches: Invoked. Upon getting your first ending, the game will inform you that this ending is your true ending, implying any ending you get afterwards is simply a What If? ending.
- Every Episode Ending: In each ending, no matter how you do, Egoraptor will tell you to reflect on your result, and to relieve your life and try again.
- The Farmer and the Viper: If the Player Character saves his older self from a scorpion, the older version sells his younger self to the government, and gets rich in the process. This is notable because there are two different versions of the ending, one where you play as the young version, and one for the older version.
- For Want Of A Nail: So, so much.
- Game Preferred Gender: There are far, far more endings if you end up being born as a boy. Even if both sperm inhabit the egg, you play as the male conjoined twin. There are only five endings for a female Player Character.
- Golden Ending: You meet Chuck Norris and become a god.
- I Have Your Wife: One possible route has someone call to tell you that he's kidnapped your sister, and her life hangs on whether you nail or fail a basketball shot. Whether it's a genuine threat or a Jerkass who pulled a mean prank call depends on the outcome of the following game.
- Last-Second Word Swap: "With fifty-inch rims and a tank full of gas, you cut people off and you drive like an... a jerk."
- Multiple Endings: A lot of them, depending on the decisions you take, and whether you win or screw up. The endings run the whole gamut, from perfectly happy to crushingly depressing and any range in between, bittersweet, or just plain frickin' weird.
- Rhymes on a Dime: Egoraptor's narration style.
- Sheathe Your Sword: Some of the outcomes or different branches can only be reached by not pressing anything during some of the button-mashing games. Sometimes this leads to a better ending, as detailed under The Farmer and the Viper.
- Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion: One instance where the expected rhyme was "gas" with "ass", only for the narration to go with a tamer insult.
Your fifty-inch rims and a tank full of gas, you cut people off and drive like a... jerk.
- Take a Third Option: Happens a lot in the button-mashing games, when you give a token effort. The strangest example is if both sperm inhabit the egg, creating- as the game calls it- "CatDog but with humans." This example is particularly worth noting as it's unintuitive, yet being born as a conjoined twin actually leads to well over a third of the game's potential endings and storylines. (actually significantly more than if you're simply born as a girl, which only has five possible endings.) A player who doesn't realize that the Third Option even exists might spend hours on hours trying to figure out where they could've possibly gone wrong with the other ones!
Take a few seconds, reflect your result.
Now Relieve your Life, from sperm to adult.
