Verbal Backspace / Live-Action TV

Verbal Backspaces in Live-Action TV series.

---

• 3rd Rock from the Sun:
  Don: But who's gonna do it?
  Tommy: I'll do it.
  Don: Could be dangerous.
  Tommy: Harry'll do it.
• A favored technique on 30 Rock:
  Kenneth: I will buy Mr Donaghy a new pair of pants!
  Assistant: Those pants cost $2,500.
  Kenneth: I will find Mr Donaghy's pants!
• From Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Agent Ward has to get somewhere.
  Coulson: Can you get to the North Campus parking lot? We think [the boys] might be there.
  Ward: That's not far from where I am. I can get there.
  [Opens door, sees massive super-storm]
  Ward: [Without change in tone] Yeah, I can't get there.
• In Arrested Development, while Gob is talking about why Ann would make a bad girlfriend:
  Gob: Plus, she's religious. That one gets pregnant, it stays pregnant. Believe me, I dated a chick like that once in high school. {pause} No, I didn't.
• Blackadder the Third: Blackadder accidentally lets slip how he really sees the relationship between himself and the prince:
  Blackadder: It's good to be back in the saddle. Did I say saddle? I meant harness.
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine:
  • The 99's Arch-Enemy The Vulture is in charge of the SWAT-team in a hostage situation, and he tries to push his weight around.
    Vulture: You see this sniper? He'll shoot anyone I tell him to. Even you!
    Sniper: No I won't.
    Vulture: ... okay, but he'll go sit on any roof I tell him to. Go sit on that roof!
    Sniper: [sigh] Of course.
  • This exchange in the first season episode "The Bet":
    Holt: Gina, please keep an eye on Boyle today. He's gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.
    Gina: Sure, I'd love to see Charles get punched.
    Holt: Try again?
    Gina: I will stop Charles from getting punched.
    Holt: Correct.
• In an episode of Castle, an actress preparing to play "Nikki Heat" in a film based on Castle's books visits the 12th Precinct to observe Beckett. After trying to proposition Castle, she slowly immerses herself in character, and eventually Beckett and Castle are watching her doing an uncanny impression of Beckett at the whiteboard.
  Castle: Everything okay?
  Beckett: Do I really do that?
  Castle: Yes. And it's adorable.
  Beckett: If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me? [Beat] Her me, not me me.
• From Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, when Paula makes a few Freudian Slips regarding her relationship with Rebecca:
  After everything I've done for you that you didn't ask for
  God, will your lies never end?!
  After everything I've done for you that you didn't ask for
  The least you could do is be honest with your mother - I mean, friend!
  • And then:
    You're nothing without me and my creativity
    I created you, you lived in my womb - figuratively!
• Doctor Who:
  • Strax is a Sontaran who's still adjusting to civilian life. For bonus points, he makes the exact same fist-clenching gesture on both uses of the phrase "melt him with acid".
    Strax: The Doctor is still missing, but he will always come looking for his box. By bringing it here, he will be lured from the dangers of London to this place of safety, and we will melt him with acid.
    Clara: Okay, that last part?
    Strax: And we will not melt him with acid... Old habits.
  • In one of the Big Finish audio plays, the Tenth Doctor has to introduce an old acquaintance and gets tripped up by his own Catchphrase:
    Ten: I'm the Doctor, and this is my friend...Sorry. Sorry. Force of habit. This is Davros.
• From Firefly episode "Heart of Gold", when the others were trying to convince Jayne to help with a job that was "strictly speculative":
  Jayne: Don't know these folks, don't much care to.
  Mal: They're whores.
  Jayne: I'm in.
• Frasier: At one point Niles tries talking Frasier out of something, only to amend his statement. Frasier dryly remarks "shouldn't you make a beeping sound when you back up like that?"
• Friends:
  • In "The One With all the Resolutions", Ross' first attempt at a resolution is "No divorces in ‘99! *party horn*" When it's pointed out that his divorce with Emily isn't quite finalized yet, he says in the same intonation "Just the one divorce in ‘99! *same party horn*"
  • In "The One With the Kips", Monica and Chandler have a fight when he decides to watch TV in the middle of a romantic night together.
    Chandler: I just wanted to watch a little TV. Okay, relax, mom.
    Monica: What did you just say?
    Chandler: I said relax, Monnnn.
• A Running Gag in Get Smart, with Maxwell Smart's claims simultaneously growing less dramatic and more ridiculous, along the lines of:
  Max: Would you believe the entire Navy has this island surrounded?
  KAOS agent: I find that hard to believe.
  Max: Would you believe CONTROL has sent a small boat filled with special ops to rescue me?
  KAOS agent: No.
  Max: How about two Boy Scouts in a raft with a BB gun?
• Gossip Girl:
  Serena: Look B, I understand why you're reluctant to burst your happy bubble, but I'm not giving up.
  Blair: I'm sorry if unlike some people, I haven't been on the pill since I was fifteen.
  Serena: Okay, I'm giving up.
• An episode of Happy Days ended with Fonzie depressed and saddened after losing a young boy who was like a surrogate son to him. Richie tries to cheer him up by inviting him to a new bowling alley that just opened up, only to receive the reply: "The Fonz doesn't bowl". When Richie retorts that the alley has girl "pin boys", Fonzie then states: "The Fonz bowls!" On their way out, Richie invites his other friends Ralph and Potsie to join them, only to get a joint refusal. But when The Fonz mentions the female pin boys, they also quickly change their stance.
• Heroes:
  Sylar: I'm not a serial killer.
  Luke: But you've got a pattern. You go after specific victims. You collect mementos.
  Sylar: Okay, technically, I'm a serial killer.
• In Hogan's Heroes, Hogan needs to see Klink, who has been arrested. To his fortune, Schultz is guarding him.
  Colonel Hogan: I need to see Colonel Klink.
  Sergeant Schultz: (sternly) You cannot!
  (Hogan raises a pistol to Schultz's face)
  Schultz: (cheerfully) You can.
• Homicide: Life on the Street: When touring his new bar with the health inspector, Lewis brags that the floor is clean enough you could eat off of it - though he quickly adds, "Not that we'd serve any food that fell on the floor."
• In "The Stinson Missile Crisis" episode of How I Met Your Mother, Barney invokes this several times during his various Bimbo Delivery Systems, two commercials and an autodialer.
• The IT Crowd had Douglas do one of these when he talked about deleting incriminating files and then quickly added that he only meant to say "files".
  • It also happens when Roy is complaining about a girl he dated who was a jerk, and then admits he still slept with her before breaking up.
  Roy: Every man has a story like this.
  Jen: This isn't the first time you've mentioned this happening.
  Roy: Every man has a few stories like this.
• Merlin and Arthur are trying to decide what to do with the sleeping Uther to protect him, and Merlin thinks they should disguise him, leading to:
  Arthur: That might just work.
  Merlin: We could dress him as a woman!
  Arthur: That, on the other hand...
  Merlin: We could dress him as a servant!
  Arthur: That's better.
• Monty Python's Flying Circus:
  Ximenez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our four...no... Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
• In the Murder, She Wrote episode "Something Borrowed, Someone Blue", Jessica is working with a very diffident police chief for an expensive suburb, who is terrified of offending someone important, even when he's accusing them.
  Chief Slocum: The way I figure it...
  Valerie: Now you be careful what you say, unless you want to be hit by a very expensive lawsuit.
  Chief Slocum: The way Mrs Fletcher figures it...
• Murdoch Mysteries:
  • In the episode "Friday the 13th, 1901", George is trying to put together a police curling team:
    George: Oh, Detective, thank goodness you're here! Jackson, I'm letting you go.
    Murdoch: I won't be participating, George.
    George: Jackson, have another try, you're improving.
  • In the episode "The Local Option", George has just met Dr Ogden's new assistant, Rebecca James, after policing the Junction.
    George: The place is teeming with drunks at all hours; a filthy awful place.
    Dr Ogden: And one that Miss James calls home.
    George: Of course, no place is all bad. I'm sure there is plenty to recommend the Junction. Trains, for instance, it's easy to leave. Not that you would want to leave.
• The Nanny: We get this exchange after Mr. Sheffield wonders if Fran is dating some other man:
  Mr. Sheffield: The idea of Miss Fine being seriously involved with Fred is absurd.
  Niles: Why do you say that, Sir?
  Mr. Sheffield: Come on, man. He's nice, but she couldn't be interested in him after...me.
  Niles: What's so great about you? *beat* I mean, what's so great about you is your—
  Mr. Sheffield: Oh, shut up!
• In one episode of NUMB3RS, the initial suspect in the bombing of a philanthropy organization is a nutty conspiracy theorist who claims the group isn't on the up-and-up. When a deeper look suggests the organization might actually have something to hide, Robin attempts to suggest that the conspiracy theorist might have a point for once, but it doesn't quite come out right initially.
  Robin: McGill may not be so crazy. (Beat) He's crazy. But that doesn't mean that he's wrong.
• Orphan Black: Cosima is impersonating Alison (who is straight, and married) and forced to improvise a speech:
  Cosima: And as a lesbian...
  [The crowd reacts, including a Double Take from Alison's mother and a massive Oh, Crap! from Felix, who knows it's Cosima]
  Cosima: ...supporter... [continues as Alison arrives]
• Played for drama in Person of Interest:
  Nathan: Eight people in the world know [the Machine] exists. We need to keep it that way.
  Alicia: Seven, Nathan. Seven people, unless you told someone.
  Nathan: (cue Oh, Crap!)...Come on, Alicia, you know I'm terrible at math.
• Pushing Daisies:
  Louis: Am I in heaven?
  Chuck: Not yet. We all died, and heaven closes in like five minutes.
  Ned: One minute.
  Chuck: Heaven closes in like one minute.
• Red Dwarf:
  • After Starbug crashes in the episode "Emohawk: Polymorph II":
    Kryten: At least Mr Lister's guitar survived intact.
    [the Cat casually takes the guitar and smashes it against a bulkhead]
    Kryten: Not even Mr Lister's guitar survived intact.
  • Subverted in "Rimmerworld".
    Cat: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
    Kryten: Sir, we lost Mr Rimmer!
    Cat: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
• Resident Alien:
  Dan: I don't like it when you're quiet. Makes me nervous.
  Asta: The alien we went to see was dead. But it gave birth to an egg, and now it's in Harry's bag.
  Dan: I liked it more when you were quiet.
• Royal Canadian Air Farce:
  Stockwell Day: Let's look at the facts surrounding my leadership of our party. Since I took over, our founder, Preston Manning, has announced he's getting out of politics. We've had quite a few members leave the party. The latest poll puts our popularity just below E. coli bacteria. Okay, let's not look at the facts.
• Scrubs:
  • In the episode "My Cold Shower":
    Melody: Can you control yourself?
    JD: Of course I can.
    Janitor: [opens the door] God is watching.
    JD: I can't.
    Janitor: Who is this "God" everyone fears?
  • In the episode "My Cabbage", when Turk and Elliot have lost a patient's dying note to his sons, and are trying to fake it:
    Elliot: My dearest Eric, it is my wish for you that you finally find a good woman...
    Eric: I'm gay.
    Elliot: ...so that she might find you a man...
    Eric: Dad didn't know I was gay.
    Elliot: ...so that he might find you a woman.
  • Doctor Kelso uses this as a lesson to Turk about how everyone lies and the trick is to figure out how to make them tell the truth.
    Kelso: Son, have you taken any drugs in the last 48 hours?
    Patient: Drugs? No sir. I never do drugs.
    Kelso: Because the shot you're about to get could kill you if it's mixed with narcotics.
    Patient: Drugs? Yes sir, all the time.
• In the "The Great Game" episode of Sherlock, after Molly shows off her new boyfriend Jim to her long-standing crush, Sherlock.
  Sherlock: [after a very brief Sherlock Scan, turning back to his work] Gay.
  Molly: What?
  Sherlock: Nothing. [flashes Jim an artificial smile] Hey.
  • Made Hilarious in Hindsight when we learn that that was Jim Moriarty.
• In Stargate SG-1, O'Neill does this to himself when assuring Hammond that Apophis is really, actually dead this time:
  O'Neill: I am one hundred percent s-sure... [everyone looks vaguely hesitant]... ninety-nine percent sure Apophis is really dead.
• Star Trek: The Next Generation:
  Picard: I look forward to your report, Mr. Broccoli.
  [everyone on deck looks ruefully at him]
  Picard, with mortified face: "Barclay."
• Supergirl (2015): When Kara picks up her boss's son from school.
  Kara: I liked school. Learning all about this new planet... (realizes what she just said) that I'm also from.
• That '70s Show:
  Kitty: Red, you can run the raffle.
  Red: I'm your man.
  Kitty: Don't yell at the customers.
  Red: I'm kinda your man.
  Kitty: And smile.
  Red: You need another man.
• Top Gear:
  Jeremy Clarkson: [regarding a car that had lost a door] Still, I'd only lost one thing.
  [side mirror falls off]
  Jeremy: Two things.
• The West Wing:
  Bartlet: I could fund this initiative out of my pocket!
  Toby: It's ten million dollars.
  Bartlet: Leo could fund this initiative out of his pocket!
• Happens in the Whose Line Is It Anyway? game Quick Change:
  Brad Sherwood: I said I wanted a double whiskey.
  Colin Mochrie: I think you've had enough. Look, I'm a very strong woman.
  Wayne Brady: Change.
  Colin Mochrie: Look, I'm an orangutan in a dress.
  Wayne Brady: Change.
  Colin Mochrie: I could beat you senseless with one fingernail.

---