Tropers / SolipSchism

Now I have a Troper Wall for you people to be completely oblivious about and never post on!

If this were a real attack,
you would be dead.

I have no sense of self-restraint, so my page is freakishly long and only getting bigger as I add whatever comes to mind. To help you navigate it with your Puny Earthling mind, I have included the following navigation aid. Just click on any link and you will be magically whisked away to whatever section your heart desires. As long as your heart desires the section you clicked on.

Please note that the navigation links are all Red Links due to a system bug, but they work just fine.

• Pages I Created
• Tropes I Provide Examples Of
• Tropes I Have Provided Examples Of... Whilst In-Character
• My Favorite Tropes
• Tropes Common to My Work
• My Works:
  • Fan Works
  • Roleplays
  • Original Literature
• My Favorite Works
• Quotes
• The Best Pun Ever
• Weird WIP Story

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I've been a contributor since August of 2014, though I've been lurking on the site for hours at a time practically since its inception.

I exist on DeviantArt as Solipsism-Syndrome, and I am also on FanFiction.Net as The Great And Powerful Keski. (I haven't been active on either site in a very long time, but there you have it.)

I have always been firmly seated in the realm of Speculative Fiction, but over the years I have shifted from a strong preference for Fantasy to a strong preference for Science Fiction - the harder the better. Ten bonus points to Science Fantasy, and a billion points to any work that purports to be fantasy but Genre Shifts into science fiction, or turns out to have been science fiction all along. (Scrapped Princess and The Second Apocalypse are two shining examples that each get a billion and ten points for being all of the above.)

Fifty negative points, though, to works that Genre Shift in the other direction. I'm looking at you, Alias.

I am not to be confused with that other thing my name coincidentally rhymes with.

This paragraph serves no rhetorical or informational purpose, and exists only to pad out this portion of the page, so that the picture of BMO won't overlap annoyingly with the next section, since the rest of the page consists of bulleted lists (although some of the bullets are full paragraphs, especially once you get down to the lists of my own works and tropes that commonly appear in my works. Nonetheless, the rest of this page, after this paragraph, is in fact bulleted lists. Well, and a couple of numbered lists peppered throughout, for sequential items. And a couple of horizontal bars). I suspect I have enough Filler now, so I'm going to stop typing.

I decided I didn't have quite enough Filler, so As You Can See, I'm still typing. Or rather, I'm typing again, and from your perspective I've probably been done typing for quite some time; and in fact, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, time is just another spatial dimension that we are evolutionarily unable to perceive as anything other than a linear, one-way progression (which is why we are capable of "looking" and "moving" in one direction only—respectively backward and forward (from an individual perspective, of course)), which means verb tenses are essentially pointless from an objective perspective, and it only bears saying that for a specific period of time with set bounds, which we shall call T_x:T_y, I type the material on this page (well, I didn't type it all in one sitting, i.e., period, but you get the idea), and for another specific period of time with set bounds, which may or may not have (and is astronomically unlikely to have, but could still technically have) the same bounds, and which we shall call T_a:T_b, you read said material. And if spacetime is closed, that means in a sense, you have already read it, are reading it, and are about to read it, all at the same time. Which doesn't exist. Sort of. But now I'm pretty positive I have enough Filler, so piss off and go read the rest of the page.

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Pages I've created:

• Literature.Orthogonal: 1 August 2014
• Tropers.SolipSchism (Duh): 4 August 2014
• Main.Something For Everyone (Did NOT create, but performed a complete description transplant): 2 October 2014
• Main.More Than Three Dimensions (via YKTTW): 30 December 2014
• Literature.The Witling: 17 March 2015
• Main.Arbitrary Mission Restriction (via YKTTW): 20 April 2015
• Main.Multistage Teleport (via YKTTW): 17 May 2015

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I contain examples of:

• Adminisphere: I'm firmly ensconced in it.
• Aggressive Submissive: This is a Zero-Context Example.
• All the Good Men Are Straight: Oh, how many times I've thought this. ^note Yeah, I Pot Holed a trope name in an example list. And I'm going to do it again before this list is over. What are you gonna do about it? Come at me, bro. COME AT ME, BRO!
• Antagonistic Offspring: I've had some pretty epic Snark-to-Snark Combat with both my parents, but my relationship with my dad is particularly strained, probably because fathers tend to take issue when their sons turn out gay.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: These days, as often as not, it seems I'm Becoming the Mask, but when provoked, I can be quite a bitch.
• Bob from Accounting: Alex from HR.
• Boring, but Practical: Most of my life revolves around this trope these days. I've long since grown tired of frequent Retail Therapy interspersed with being broke and hungry, so now I keep my life in order the only way I know how: The boring way.
• Brilliant, but Lazy: Almost dropped out of high school out of pure disinterest, and consistently fail to challenge myself because I just can't be bothered. That said, I enjoy self-studying calculus and can work wonders with large amounts of data. Of course, YMMV as to whether that qualifies as brilliant.
• Chronic Hero Syndrome: I take everything I do very personally, and I tend to take on a lot of responsibility, which has the unpleasant result of me having too much on my plate, inevitably dropping one of the many balls I'm juggling, and then feeling like every dropped ball is a massive personal failure. I generally have pretty good self-esteem these days, but this trait is one of my biggest personal challenges in terms of maintaining that self-esteem.
• Desk Jockey: Despite being in the Army, I have never been, nor do I want to be, a combat arms soldier.
• Don't You Dare Pity Me!: If there's anything that reliably pushes my Berserk Button, it's pity.
• Four-Point Scale: A brief perusal of my Anime-Planet account will reveal that I am a textbook case. And with over 300 separate works rated, that's a pretty damn good sample. However, I choose to say that this is a Justified Trope in at least my case: I read reviews and recommendations before watching most anime, which lessens the chance that I'll voluntarily watch something that is genuinely bad. Still, some turds do get through, and I have given out a not-totally-negligible number of shit ratings over the years, down to and including .5 stars (the equivalent of a 1/10). ^note I never rate a work at 0, because in my opinion, a 0 is simply a lack of a rating. I consider 1/10 to be the lowest actual rating, reserved for works that are absolute shit with no redeeming qualities.
• Gender Is No Object: I honestly don't even get why this has to be a thing. But there you have it.
• Grammar Nazi: I've eased off since I realized I was trying to move the ocean with a teaspoon, especially on the internet.
• Have I Mentioned I Am Gay?: Just checking. Didn't want you to miss that.
• House Fey: Pun very much intended. I tend to fill this role, though less so since I started dating a guy who is even more of a House Fey.
• I Can't Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me: I've stopped doing this, thank God, but I've been known to do it on occasion.
• I'm a Man; I Can't Help It: This is another Zero-Context Example.
• Insecure Love Interest: One of my more troublesome personality flaws.
• Interservice Rivalry: Par for the course, because it's fun to perpetually insinuate that everyone in the Navy is gay, Marines are all musclebound meatheads, the Air Force is full of Spoiled Brats who Don't Do Anything except complain about "substandard living conditions" that an Army enlisted Soldier would call luxurious, and the Coast Guard isn't a real military branch.
• It's Not You, It's Me: I've done that... uh... 5, 6... a few times.
• Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: Like bars and Craigslist. I'm learning, though. I met my current beau on OKCupid and he's pretty much the best thing ever. Will update when the relationship inevitably implodes.
• (Borderline) Married to the Job: I've strained many a relationship, romantic and otherwise, by getting a little too involved with my work, but these days I'm easing up.
• Military Brat: My parents are both retired U.S. Navy and I am, predictably, also in the military — as a member of the Army National Guard.
• Nerds Are Sexy: You're goddamn right they are.
• Non-Action Guy: Have no fear, the guy who approves travel vouchers and manages funds according to regulation is here!
• Pot Holes: I fall into these all the time.
• Really Gets Around: I'm at the point where, to accurately count how many people I've slept with, I would probably need a pencil and a sheet of paper and ten or fifteen minutes. And maybe an abacus.
• Retail Therapy: Oh, do I love spending money.
• Salaryman: Essentially; I'm an NCO, but I don't supervise anybody. See also White Collar Worker, below.
• Serial Romeo: This is the last Zero-Context Example.
• Serial Tweaker: You can probably click the "History" button above and immediately see evidence, but in the interests of not requiring you to click a link to see example context, I'll just say that I do this with almost every edit I make, usually at least twice. I'm working on it, but I have a tendency to constantly decide things aren't perfect even after deciding that they are perfect, so even if there are no actual mistakes, I'll still find reasons to tweak things.
• Soldiers at the Rear: Heh. Heh. Heh. No, seriously.
• Solipsism: A mild example, milder now than I was in high school. But I'm not to be confused with it.
• Straight Gay: My deep voice and square jaw help to cement the illusion.
• Thicker Than Water: Averted; I like my family well enough, but I'm not particularly close to any of them, nor do I prioritize their wellbeing or safety over someone else's solely by virtue of their being related to me.
• Troubled, but Cute: Well, some people think I'm cute.
• Verbal Tic: I have a tendency to begin posts with "Mmm", "Yeah", and "Well", one of which seems to pop up at the beginning of 85% of my forum posts.
• White Collar Worker: I work at a desk, in a cubicle, in an office. In a U.S. Army uniform.
• Word Cruft: Oodles. I'm working on it.
• Workaholic: I get most of my personal fulfillment from my work, as opposed to any other aspect of my life. I've been easing up recently, though.
• Would Not Shoot a Civilian: Actually, this is the last Zero-Context Example.

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Tropes I Have Provided Examples Of... Whilst In-Character:

• Bee-Bee Gun: I am a waspmancer with the ability to summon and control wasps from the Waspverse, including the Waspgod, who is really a pretty chill lady.
• Beleaguered Bureaucrat: After being electappointed the Prime Minister of Gay, I very quickly (i.e., within minutes) found myself lamenting the difficulties of my position.
• Pest Controller: In addition to my waspmancy powers, I was also briefly a spidermancer, but the Spidergod was displeased by vis treatment when ve visited our universe, and when ve left, ve closed off my access to the Spiderverse, which stripped me of those powers.
• Whatevermancy: To date, I have been a spidermancer and a waspmancer. Unfortunately, after I summoned the Spidergod to our universe and ve (a gender-neutral pronoun, as the Spidergod has No Biological Sex) was assaulted and stapled to a wall, ve departed back to the Spiderverse and cut off all links between our universes, which stripped me of my spidermancy powers.

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My Favorite Tropes (when done well):

• Affably Evil
• Anachronism Stew
  • Low Culture, High Tech
  • Schizo Tech
• Anti-Hero
  • Sociopathic Hero
  • Unscrupulous Hero
• Badass in a Nice Suit
• Black Comedy
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer
• Cultured Badass
• Darker and Edgier
• Deadpan Snarker
  • The Snark Knight
• Faux Affably Evil
• Heroic BSoD
• More than Three Dimensions (Well, I did propose the trope, so of course I'm fond of it.)
• Precision F-Strike
• Refuge in Audacity
• Sharp-Dressed Man
• Soundtrack Dissonance
• Villainous Breakdown
• Wicked Cultured
• Not a Trope, but Honorable Mention goes to: The Pokemon Test

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Tropes common to my work include^note I may start putting up pages for my Fan Fics and Roleplays, but for now you'll just have to Take My Word For It that this stuff exists somewhere. I will cite from roleplays (but only tropes that I used, not ones only used by other players), fanfiction, and original fiction.:

• Affably Evil: Ejra in Splinter is only arguably evil—and the roleplay didn't run long enough for him to develop much—but he is far from benevolent. An ostensibly pleasant, Crazy-Prepared but aging assassin with lilting speech patterns and a penchant for Midsentence Subject Changes, Ejra's motives are never fully revealed, but he is certainly up to no good.
• Always a Bigger Fish: Always. Tales Of The Hearrte in particular seems to run on this trope. Our take on Chandler's Law, instead of "When in doubt, have a man come through a door with a gun in his hand," is "When in doubt, introduce a new stratum of even more powerful metaphysical beings. God is no limit."
  • When Affairs begins, the most powerful beings in the story are wizards who have found their Hearrtes.
  • Then thaumaturgy is introduced, which allows characters to make a Deal with the Devil, with all the drawbacks that usually implies.
  • Then comes The Wraith, a more-or-less willing Flying Dutchman with a Cool Airship that is made of stolen Hearrtes, giving him All Their Powers Combined.
  • Then the defeated Evil Sorcerer comes back to life as one-third of Tsefos, the most powerful demon in Nekhril.
  • Then we are introduced to the Wards, Anthropomorphic Personifications of the ten virtues of the Sefirot, who exist solely to maintain balance in the world, and who were granted their powers by the God of this world.
  • Then come the Latter Gods, a group of demigods who arose after the First Apocalypse and represent specific human emotions.
  • Then Astrine, the Innocent Amnesiac, remembers that she actually is Merquiess, a pastiche of Gaia's Vengeance and God (and thus she created the Wards).
  • Then it turns out that Merquiess, an Archangel, is capable of turning dead souls into other Archangels. These Archangels do not have the intrinsic bond with the world that Merquiess has as its creator, but they are otherwise equal to her in power. She turns Aer d'Mors into one after he is murdered. Then Aer becomes Satan.
  • Then we are introduced to Daos, the ur-godlike being who created Merquiess, as well as all the other Gods of all other possible worlds. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), the roleplay petered out before we had a chance to introduce some kind of Ur-Ur-God, or really explore Daos very much.
• Another Dimension/Alternate Universe: A staple of mine, not omnipresent but pretty frequent.
  • I had one story that took place in a kind of Multiverse where each world was a shard of a shattered Ur-world, all reflecting each other infinitely. A little reminiscent of the cosmology of The Chronicles of Amber, but centered around a "broken mirror" theme.
  • Tales of the Hearrte also spawned/inspired at least two alternate worlds.
    • There was an abortive roleplay called Splinter which took place in an Alternate Universe that featured most of the same characters, albeit with totally unrelated social status, personalities, relationships; really all they had in common with their Hearrtes counterparts was their names and appearances.
    • My ongoing-but-stalled story Heaven took place in what would have later been Revealed to be a sister-world to Vretoaz, caught in an eternal back-and-forth of total apocalypse and gradual resurgence of humanity, inspired by the prosperity see-saw of the dual-world of Tales of Symphonia. The only solid link between the two stories would have been Sito Midas (name not set in stone), who was planned to be an enigmatic, Downplayed Mad Oracle later Revealed to be Aer d'Mors, the self-made Devil from Hearrtes.
• Anyone Can Die: But since Death Is Cheap, they will probably return as an angel, demon, Satan, God, or they will turn out to have been an Anthropomorphic Personification of the world all along.
• Colon Cancer: It's not precisely common, but I feel the title of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Legend of Final Fable Zero: The Belkan War—Combat Evolved Over Normandy merits a mention for almost avoiding it—but that em dash is pretty damning.
• Despair Event Horizon: This is what turns Aer d'Mors into an Omnicidal Maniac who attempts to flood the planet of Vretoaz, and later, inspires him to take over the demon realm and turn it into Hell, with him as its Devil. Crossing the Horizon is usually what turns my main characters from Wangsty Classical Anti-Heroes into Well-Intentioned Satanic Archetypes or Tragic Villains.
• Faux Affably Evil: After Aer d'Mors goes through his Omnicidal Maniac phase in Trials of the Hearrte, he becomes this in the sequel. He is no less insane—he is the Devil, after all, and honestly believes he's saving souls—but he enjoys frequent nights at the opera with his Arch-Nemesis, the Pro-Human Transhuman and self-styled "Artificial God" Morceau. He easily loses his cool, though, when Morceau points out that Aer is a Sociopath and a Complete Monster.
• Kudzu Plot: Mostly due to my gratuitous use of Chandler's Law to resolve Voodoo Sharks with more Voodoo Sharks.
• Magic A Is Magic A: A definite staple of my fantasy works, often even shoehorned into fan works based on works that don't use it, like The Legend of Zelda. Affairs Of The Hearrte took it Up To Eleven with angelic power (which also turned out to be the source of the Hearrtes' power; demonic power also turned out to be a corrupted form of angelic power), magick (based on The Wheel of Time magic), thaumaturgy (summoning and compelling demons to do one's will), the nebulous and downplayed Reality Warper abilities of the Wards, and whatever the hell Daos was capable of, all of which (except for the Wards and the unexplored abilities of Daos) were thoroughly fleshed-out and kept as consistent as possible within their own terms.
• Precision F-Strike: One of the prime indicators that either a Villainous Breakdown or a Face–Heel Turn is imminent.
• Shout-Out: Practically a hobby of mine.
  • The name of the Tales of the Hearrte series of roleplays is a Shout-Out to the Tales Series.
  • The gitacrs (pronounced "zhi-TARKS", singular "gitacr") are the Rheiards from Tales of Symphonia and Tales of Phantasia in all but name.
  • Also on the subject of the gitacrs, their name is a subtle nod to the Grabacr Squadron of Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War.
  • The entire system of Magick, as well as the Elements of Nature that makes it up, is based on the weaving motif from the The Wheel of Time series.
  • Aer's Hearrte is essentially a pastiche of the Ars Goetia and Pseudomonarchia Daemonum. With it, he is able to summon any of the demons described within and compel them to use their powers on his behalf—for a price.
  • Not my character, but the Wraith who shows up early in Affairs is inspired by the historical Jack Rackham, and if I remember correctly, bears the same name.
  • I feel compelled to point out that I have a strong dislike for the Sword of Truth series, and Aer d'Mors' name is not a deliberate reference to the Wind of Death.
  • The last chapter (an over-the-top joke chapter) of The Legend of Zelda: The Conqueror contains the line, "Coffee? Gee, thanks, that's better than sex!"
  • I have an infrequently-recurring world named "Vaatz", the name of which is a nod to Ziani Vaatzes, the main character from K. J. Parker's Engineer Trilogy.
• Theme Naming: One unintentional pattern I've noticed is that my main characters' names will often start with "A" (probably because my own name starts with "A"). My more deliberate (and blatant) uses of this trope include the virtues of the Sefirot, elements/natural phenomena, the Latin terms for the Seven Deadly Sins, and others.
• Universal-Adaptor Cast: I rarely transplant my entire stable of characters into a new setting, but I only infrequently come up with entirely new characters. Instead, I tend to recycle characters to varying degrees. This can range from merely applying a recycled name to a new character, to Reusing a Character Design, all the way up to a blatant Expy or Captain Ersatz of a previous character, and that's only if the canon doesn't allow for them to explicitly be the same character.
  • Sito Midas was one of my first characters, and possibly the first. Originated in a The Legend of Zelda fanfiction, in which he was a Black Mage with a Hair-Trigger Temper whose story revolved around tracking down his parents' murderer. I used him less and less, and amusingly, as time passed, the character changed from a hotheaded young spellcaster to a wizened old Eccentric Mentor. The details that have stayed the same include his black hair, green eyes, pale skin, tall and thin stature, penchant for black robes with gold piping, and a tendency to keep Familiars (including, to date: a telepathic horse, a man who could transform into a dog for no plot-relevant reason, and a winged rodent skeleton named Keski).
  • Yachesen and Yachesa (virtually always used as a pair) are probably my most consistent Reused Character Design. They pop up infrequently, but when they do, their design is very reliable: Creepy Twins, Straw Vulcan Emotionless Boy, Knight Templar Big Sister with a Hair-Trigger Temper, both have long silver hair, both are usually very talented with magic though Yachesen is usually the more powerful, and they are usually evil or at least antagonists.
  • Luseik is part of an extremely convoluted group of names including Luseik, Tseik, Tsefos, and Tsefora, and other variations. He began life as Luseik Kusefora, the half-man, half-dragon Warlord Prince of Dachrea, but in most of my subsequent works, he has been an aspect of God in mythologies which have either a two- or three-part God. He also serves directly as God in some works that have a monotheistic mythology, usually as Tseik instead of Luseik. However, Luseik/Tseik being a singular God usually only happens in works that heavily feature parallel worlds, as one of my works Ret-Conned Luseik/Tseik's name to come from a word in a nonexistent Conlang that signifies reflected light, and the world was one that was broken into countless "shards" that reflected each other. As mentioned, his name was originally Luseik Kusefora, which was as meaningless as it sounds. I later Ret-Conned it to be a corrupted combination of Luth+Tseik and Kuth+Tsefos. Tseik was the Good God and Luth meant "fire", while Tsefos was the Devil and Kuth meant "ice", and Luseik Kusefora was the true form of God, the combination of Tseik and Tsefos that had been splintered when the world was shattered. In exactly one work, Tseik was one-half of a Satanic Archetype, along with his female counterpart, Tsefora (herself being the female version of Tsefos), opposed directly by Merque and Merquiess playing the part of God. But when there is only one aspect of God, I tend to use either Merque or Merquiess. Which brings me to...
  • Merque/Merquiess is, quite simply, God. Most of my works use only one or the other, but a few use them both as masculine and feminine deities that rule jointly. The most notable use was Merquiess as a combination God/Gaia's Vengeance in the Tales of the Hearrte roleplay series.
• Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Many of my antagonists fall under this trope.
  • In the backstory of Heaven (working title), Masum is a remarkably talented young mage whose father pisses off the King and gets sent on a suicide mission to be killed by a race of hostile, nomadic savages. When his mother is Driven to Suicide, Masum uses his Angst to fuel his magical studies. He not only excels at the generally accepted magic taught to all military Silver Circle mages, but also gets into The Dark Arts. Then, without warning, he disappears, and resurfaces years later as an Evil Overlord who has subjugated the same nomadic savages and now intends to use them to overrun his homeland and murder the king. He's not particularly interested in what happens after that. What makes him Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds, rather than just a Jerkass Woobie is the fact that in his studies of The Dark Arts, he unintentionally breaches the Veil and allows a couple of universe-eating Eldritch Abominations to enter the world, one of which possesses him and makes him even more of a Complete Monster.
  • Power was about a young wizard whose tenuous grasp of magic led him to unintentionally kill his mentor, which pushed him over the Despair Event Horizon and turned him into an Omnicidal Maniac. (In his defense, this is also in a world where only the most careful and talented of mages can use magic without being corrupted by the dead spirits that make it work.) At the end, after conquering the known world, he meets the ghost of his dead mentor, has a Heel Realization, and is Driven to Suicide out of remorse for his actions.
  • The poster boy for this trope in my work is Aer d'Mors, who began life as a Wangsty teenage wizard with daddy issues (granted, his daddy was an Obviously Evil Sorcerer and an Abusive Parent), and went through the following stages:
    1. A kind of willing Flying Dutchman known as the Wraith (given to him by the previous Wraith)
    2. Physical God (after being murdered by a minor character and then brought back by God/Gaia's Vengeance)
    3. Omnicidal Maniac (when his still-living girlfriend refused to come and be a Physical God with him)
    4. And finally, Satan.

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My works include (This section is a work in progress. Note that most of this can be found online. I'll provide links later.):

Fan Works (available on fanfiction.net)^note Most of these are Dead Fics. The Legend of Zelda: Finality and Ace Combat: Restitution are the only completed stories. Finality is a Short Story with a Sequel Hook, while Restitution is four chapters long and straddles the line between Short Story and Novella.

• The Legend of Zelda: The Conqueror: A sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask co-authored with Nathaniel Shepard. He conceptualized the story and plot, while I did most of the writing and editing/proofreading.^note The fic makes three major statements about the canon of the game: That Link obtains the Fierce Deity Mask, that he uses it for each boss battle, and that he uses it during the final battle. And, of course, everything that happens in the game after the final battle is altered by this fic. It begins during the final battle of Majora's Mask, when Link dons the Fierce Deity Mask and curb-stomps Majora's Mask. The premise of the fic is that the Majora's Mask houses a super-scary evil being known as Majora, but Riend, the being trapped inside the Fierce Deity Mask is even worse. It possesses Link when he dons the mask the fifth time (to fight Majora), having extended its influence enough to take control of him. Then it beats the shit out of Majora, and proceeds to conquer most of the world using Link's body, and Termina as a base of operations. And that's just the prologue. The story proper follows Mera, a Shiekah-in-training. Stuff happens. After a prologue and five chapters, the fic petered out, and then I added a purely comedic Chapter XIX for no good reason.
• The "series" never had a name, but since it all grew out of Finality, I'll call it the Finality series/trilogy. They are ordered here in the order I wrote them, but the timeline is Parable, then Finality, then Final Fable Zero. While the series is pretty undeniably a crossover, Finality is almost entirely inspired by The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, while Parable is almost entirely inspired by Fable. Thus, that's how they're categorized on the site.
  • The Legend of Zelda: Finality: A short story that follows a Really Several Thousand Years Old vagrant named Luseik through his exploration of a run-down, decrepit, abandoned Hyrule Castle Town (based on as it appeared in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time), reminiscing about the Golden Age (just prior to and during the events of Ocarina) and wishing his girlfriend wasn't dead. The Sequel Hook reveals that he and Link are both Heroes, and Luseik most likely spent the intervening millennia in Albion. As to the sequel itself, well...
  • The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Legend of Final Fable Zero: The Belkan War—Combat Evolved Over Normandy: A comedic (in case that wasn't clear) and brief account of Luseik's and Link's misadventures in Albion following the events of Finality... for about five minutes, and then it follows Bruce/Amy, who is also the true identity of Master Chief as well as Cipher. It's a rapid-fire crossover of all of the works referenced in its title (except for Final Fantasy).
  • Parable: After Final Fable Zero petered out I decided to take the story seriously, but first I went back to write a prequel to Finality. Taking place an unspecified (but significant) amount of time after Luseik's exile from Hyrule, but still long before his return, it appears that Parable will parallel the timeline of Fable—but early on, a teleportation spell gone awry causes Luseik to go through a Time Skip to the end of the main game, when the Guild is destroyed. If the fic had continued, Luseik would have tried to track down the game's hero because a magic voice in his head told him to. The fic didn't last long enough to really get to the plot. Also, it had been some time since playing the game when I wrote the fic, as evidenced by some pretty Egregious errors, such as referring to Maze as the Guildmaster. Also also, I had never played The Lost Chapters at the time, so who knows what influence that might have had—such as the Guild not being quite destroyed.
• Ace Combat: Restitution: A four-part fanfiction of the entire Ace Combat series, primarily the fourth, fifth, and zeroth installments. In short, the fanfic suggests that the main character of each game is actually the same person each time, and that he is actually an artificial intelligence secretly placed into wars on whatever side his handlers want to put at an advantage. The story also suggests that the longer "Ace" is active, the more unstable his mind becomes (a la AI rampancy as described in the Halo universe), until eventually he has to be shut down and rebooted through a process referred to as restitution. The Reveal shows that the entire fic has been a Dying Dream, Ace's mind forcing him to relive memories as they are wiped in preparation for a reload.
  • An unfinished prequel, The Fall of Estoque, was about a squadron full of Ace-prototypes. Whereas Restitution never explicitly stated whether Ace was simply a program or a full-fledged Uploaded Brain, the protagonists of Estoque were all prison inmates with life-sentences who had had their memories wiped clean and new ones implanted to hide the fact that they were living in something akin to The Matrix. Estoque also introduced Primary Equipment Design, the massive and sinister corporation running the program, which is also implied to be responsible for slipping Ace into various conflicts as a game-changer for nearly every war in the Ace Combat series.
• The Fourth Realm: My longest-running work, a Black Jewels fanfiction based around the idea of a fourth Realm called Dachrea cut off from the familiar three, populated by Half-Human Hybrids and Non-Human Humanoid Hybrids, primarily draghans (half-human, half-dragon), wehrs (half-human, half-wolf), and gejke (not a hybrid, but rather a kind of solid, Shapeshifting Living Shadow with an eternally childlike mentality). A couple of dragons from Dachrea plot to invade the main three Realms, while draghan Warlord Prince Luseik and his Anti-Magic girlfriend Anna gradually become aware of the scheme and attempt to foil it. Many of my most frequently Reused Character Designs originated or were codified in this work, including Luseik, a Byronic Hero with a small degree of The Dulcinea Effect; Kreethen, an Ax-Crazy Psychopathic Manchild; Yachesen and Yachesa, a pair of Creepy Twins consisting of an Emotionless Boy and a Knight Templar Big Sister; and a few others.

Roleplay

• Tales of the Hearrte: A fantasy roleplay in three parts (the third of which was declared non-canon due to a long Time Skip between it and the preceeding works, which led to self-admitted They Changed It, Now It Sucks!).
  1. Affairs of the Hearrte: Introduced the desert world of Vretoaz and brought a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits together to quest for their Hearrtes, which are unique magical artifacts, one of which exists for each person and grants its owner a unique ability. The heroes meet the Wraith, a kind of willing Flying Dutchman who flies around Vretoaz on his Cool Airship—also called the Wraith—which is made entirely of stolen Hearrtes and grants him All Their Powers Combined. My main character was Aer d'Mors, who is chosen by the Wraith to be the next Wraith. Aer's father, the Evil Sorcerer Rivus, is the Big Bad. After the heroes beat his ass (but not before a Deal with the Devil costs Aer An Arm), things settle down.
  2. Trials of the Hearrte: The sequel to Affairs begins some time later, with Aer as a reclusive, paranoid hermit, surrounded by Ambiguously Evil retainers. The plot gets pretty convoluted. An Innocent Amnesiac, Astrine, turns out to be Merquiess: Half-God, half Gaia's Vengeance. Rivus comes back as one-third of a demonic triumvirate that also consists of the most powerful demon in Nehkril and Rivus' own corrupted, demonic Superpowered Evil Side (keep in mind, this is the Superpowered Evil Side of a character who is already pretty damn powerful and evil). We're introduced to the Latter Gods, who have been vying for power ever since Merquiess forgot who she was after the First Apocalypse. We also meet the Wards, Anthropomorphic Personifications of the virtues of the Sefirot, who Merquiess created during the First Apocalypse to help the Wraith Save the World, but who lost their purpose after that was all done, and decided to try to maintain balance between extremes in the world. Eventually, Aer is murdered by a minor character, and is resurrected by Merquiess as a Physical God to be her divine Number Two. Instead, from his new divine perspective, he Goes Mad From The Revelation that he lives in a Crapsack World and decides to destroy it in a flood, drag everyone to Nehkril, and fix everything and everyone with a few billion years of nonstop torture. When he appears to his still-living girlfriend and she refuses to come rule Nehkril with him, he is convinced to stop the flood, and then retreats to Nehkril, where he stays for a few thousand years.

Unpublished Literature (available on deviantART)

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My Favorite Works^{gratuitously-long explanatory note} Works are sorted as follows: First, by medium, which are alphabetized. Within media, works are sorted alphabetically by title, except when a number of works are grouped under a single creator, in which case they are alphabetized by the creator's family/surname. (One major inconsistency is that, within creator groups, works are either sorted chronologically or alphabetically by the work's name, with no real pattern for which is which. Eventually I will sort them all chronologically.) For example, under Anime, Tokyo Godfathers is listed under "K" for Satoshi Kon, so it comes before Legend of Galactic Heroes, which is listed under "L" for its own name. But Monster comes after Legend of Galactic Heroes, because it is also listed under "M" for its own name. There is no real reason for this haphazard, arbitrary, and inconsistent sorting convention, except that I prefer to keep works by my favorite creators together because that's how I think of them. I don't think of them as Battle Royale and Kill Bill and Inglourious Basterds and Reservoir Dogs—I think of Battle Royale and "three(ish) Tarantino films".:

Anime

• Angel's Egg
• The anime of Attack on Titan
• Eve No Jikan (Both versions)
• Every anime installment of Ghost in the Shell:
  • Ghost in the Shell and, to a lesser extent, its sequel, Innocence
  • Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, mostly the first season.
• Haibane Renmei
• Most of Satoshi Kon's work, including:
  • Millennium Actress
  • Perfect Blue (One of my favorite films of any genre.)
  • Tokyo Godfathers
• Legend of Galactic Heroes ^note (Really just the main series, though some of the side stuff isn't bad.)
• Most of Hayao Miyazaki's work, including:
  • Howl's Moving Castle ^note (Lots of Hype Aversion for me, but I do like the visuals.)
  • Kiki's Delivery Service
  • Laputa: Castle In The Sky
  • Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland ^note It may be an Old Shame for him, but for me it's one of my absolute best childhood memories. I still love occasionally rewatching it.
  • Mononoke Hime ^note My absolute favorite Miyazaki film and one of my favorite films in general. Call me a pedant for Pot Holing the title, but I much prefer the Japanese title; it feels more in tune with the film, whereas Princess Mononoke sounds like a sequel to Pocahontas.
  • My Neighbor Totoro
  • Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
  • Porco Rosso
  • Spirited Away ^note (I can barely hold back the Hype Aversion, but I will admit that it is a good film.)
• Monster
• Mushishi
• Neon Genesis Evangelion ^note (Including Death and Rebirth and End of Evangelion)
  • Rebuild of Evangelion ^note (Particularly the first two, which were incredible; I thought the third one got a little silly, but I'm still salivating in anticipation of the fourth and final installment.)
• Puella Magi Madoka Magica
  • Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Movie: Rebellion
• The anime of Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei ^note (I felt it got worse with each successive installment, but it was still one of the best shows out there. I'd say it went from a perfect 10/10 in the first season down to maybe a 7/10 by the end.)
• The anime of Scrapped Princess

Film

• The entire Alien series, not including anything to do with Predator.
  1. Alien ^note (My personal favorite; Aliens was very good, but what I love about the series is how effectively it blends Science Fiction with Horror, and the original film simply does it best.)
  2. Aliens
  3. Alien³ ^note (This one really only merits a place on the list by virtue of being part of the series, but I don't think that would surprise anyone who has seen it.)
  4. Alien: Resurrection
• Battle Royale
• Interstellar ^note I very rarely pass judgment on a film immediately after seeing it, especially in a theater, because the whole experience of seeing a movie in a theater enhances it and make one more likely to look favorably on a film that may not deserve it. I made an exception for Interstellar. This movie was fucking incredible.
• Anything by Stanley Kubrick, though I haven't seen all of his work. The ones I've seen (and love) include:
  • Lolita
  • Dr. Strangelove
  • 2001: A Space Odyssey
  • A Clockwork Orange
  • Full Metal Jacket
• The Matrix ^note (I have a perverse fondness for the whole trilogy, but The Matrix is the only one I'd really put on this list.)
• Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
• Everything directed by Quentin Tarantino:
  • Reservoir Dogs ^note (My favorite Tarantino film and one of my favorite films in general)
  • Pulp Fiction ^note (Far from my favorite, but still a great film)
  • Jackie Brown
  • Kill Bill
  • Inglourious Basterds ^note (Christoph Waltz blows my mind in this film.)
  • Django Unchained
  • The Hateful Eight ^note Which I saw on Christmas morning in all its 70mm roadshow glory. Unusually for a Tarantino film, while I loved the acting and writing and cinematography and basically the whole damn thing, the music was easily the best thing about the film for me. It has a spectacular score.

Literature

• Everything by R. Scott Bakker, including:
  • Disciple of the Dog (Probably my least favorite, but still a solid novel.)
  • Neuropath (This book is amazing.)
  • The Second Apocalypse ^note (Easily my favorite fantasy series. I can talk about the Second Apocalypse for hours.)
    1. The Prince of Nothing
       1. The Darkness That Comes Before
       2. The Warrior-Prophet ^note (I think I'm going to get a tattoo inspired by this book: The Circumfix, the in-universe version of the Crucifix, is a ring that the Dark Messiah is bound to and hung from a tree for several days, in his version of the Crucifixion. It basically looks like da Vinci's Vitruvian Man, but upside down and without the extra limbs, black or red silhouette on a white background. In the books, the symbol is usually red on white.)
       3. The Thousandfold Thought
    2. The Aspect-Emperor
       1. The Judging Eye
       2. The White-Luck Warrior
• The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas.
• Everything I've read so far by Greg Egan, which amounts to:
  • Quarantine (1992)^note Our page for this book is stubbly, poorly-formatted, and has some factual inaccuracies about the book, particularly its climax/ending. On top of that, it shares its title with a few works in other namespaces and I'd really like to separate them. I intend to revamp that page and the subpages that share its name as my next project.
  • Permutation City (1994)
  • Distress (1995)
  • Diaspora (1997)
  • Teranesia (1999)
  • Schild's Ladder (2002)
  • Incandescence (2008)
  • Zendegi (2010)
  • Orthogonal
    1. The Clockwork Rocket (2011)
    2. The Eternal Flame (2012)
    3. The Arrows of Time (2013)^note (I had high expectations, but despite that, the conclusion to this trilogy still really impressed me. I suppose I should have expected something like that ending, given that the trilogy features functional Time Travel and a loving reconstruction of Clarke's Third Law, but still. Damn. That's the first time that I've been choked up by Time-Traveling, Shapeshifting Starfish Aliens from Another Dimension.)
  • The Four Thousand, The Eight Hundred (2015)
  • Dichronauts (2017)
  • ...plus a number of his short stories, my favorites so far being "The Singleton"^note which introduced the Quantum Singleton Processor, or "Qusp", that would later feature heavily in Schild's Ladder, "Crystal Nights"^note which shares a couple of its major themes with Permutation City, almost certainly not by accident, "The Hundred Light-Year Diary"^note The "sending information back in time" idea was later rehashed differently in The Arrows of Time, "Axiomatic"^note The neural implants, or "axiomatics", of this story would later return almost unchanged in Quarantine as "neural mods" and "The Planck Dive", in no particular order.
• Frank Herbert's original six Dune novels. ^note I may eventually start reading his son's continuation of the series, but I doubt it; I'm happy with where the original books ended, and I'm touchy about people continuing dead authors' works.
  1. Dune^note Might be my favorite of the series. Children of Dune is a strong contender, but come on, this is the original. This is where the legend began.
  2. Dune Messiah
  3. Children of Dune^note Might be my favorite of the series, although the original novel obviously has a very strong claim to that title. They're both excellent.
  4. God-Emperor of Dune^note I do think the series started to go downhill at this point. The previous trilogy was very philosophical, but had engaging plots in which... well, stuff happened. This book was practically one nonstop monologue by the titular God-Emperor and then he gets assassinated. Whoop-dee-doo.
  5. Heretics of Dune
  6. Chapterhouse: Dune
• Nineteen Eighty-Four, by George Orwell, is probably my favorite novel.
• Everything I've read by K. J. Parker:
  • The Engineer Trilogy^note This was my introduction to Parker, and remains one of my favorite stories. Some very compelling characters and a deliciously biting wit telling the story.
    1. Devices and Desires
    2. Evil for Evil
    3. The Escapement
  • The Company
  • Purple and Black^note An absolutely brilliant novella that I hold up as a shining example of the medium.
  • The Folding Knife
  • Blue and Gold^note Another great novella.
  • The Hammer
  • Sharps
• Brian Ruckley's The Godless World Trilogy.
  1. Winterbirth
  2. Bloodheir
  3. Fall of Thanes
• Everything I've read by Vernor Vinge.
  • The Witling
  • Tatja Grimm's World
  • True Names
  • Zones of Thought
    1. A Fire Upon the Deep
    2. A Deepness in the Sky
    3. The Children of the Sky
  • Rainbows End^note I was actually a little disappointed with this as a Vernor Vinge novel because I hold him to a higher standard than most other authors (a distinction he has earned by writing a lot of outstanding work), but if I judge him by fairer standards, it was very good.

Live-Action TV

• Alias^note Despite my earlier Take That!. I do think the show went drastically downhill in later seasons due to the Genre Shift from Science Fiction to the bare edge of Fantasy, but I still love the show's unapologetic Kudzu Plot.
• Battlestar Galactica (2003)^note I was not particularly impressed with Caprica. It was all right, but it had too many shortcomings for me to really call it great. I can't really say I regret its early cancellation.
• Breaking Bad
• Broadchurch
• Burn Notice ^note Don't @ me. I'm fully aware of how goofy this show is. I don't care. It's great nonetheless.
• Community ^note ...and I try not to be this grandiose, generally speaking, but I honestly think that the fifth episode of the second season, "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples", might actually be the best episode of any show ever filmed.
• Doctor Who, obviously.^note I'm caught up on New Who, and I'm working my way through Classic Who. As of this writing, I am nearing the end of the Fifth Doctor's run. For missing episodes, I watched the reconstructions, so yes, I have seen everything that is available up to this point.
• Firefly (and Serenity, of course)
• The Good Place
• House ^note (Up until around Season 4 or 5. The first three seasons were easily the best.)
• House of Cards (US)
• Mad Men
• Mystery Science Theater 3000 ^note I'm not entirely sure that it belongs under Live-Action TV, but it's hard to categorize.
• The American remake of Queer As Folk
• RuPaul's Drag Race
• Supernatural ^note (Mostly the first five seasons or so. It tripped in silly somewhere in the Apocalypse arc and never quite got back up after that.)
• The Thick of It
• Veep
• Vice Principals

Music

• Anamanaguchi
• Avicii
• deadmau5
• Dragonette
• Hugh Laurie
• Iggy Azalea
• Keb' Mo' ^note But only his older stuff. His newer stuff is too polished to really feel like blues.
• Knife Party
• Marina & the Diamonds
• MIKA
• Paloma Faith
• Pendulum
• P!nk
• Röyksopp
• Scissor Sisters
• Sia
• Zedd
• ZZ Ward

Musicals (and one Opera)

• Cabaret (I absolutely love this film. It might be my favorite musical.)
• Carmen
• Chicago
• Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
• Funny Girl
• Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
• Les Misérables, obviously.
• My Fair Lady
• The Rocky Horror Picture Show
• Singin' in the Rain

Podcasts

• Cocktails And Cream Puffs ^note A New York-based LGBTQ-themed comedy-slash-pop-culture show.
• Drive To Work ^note Mark Rosewater, head designer for Magic: The Gathering, records this typically 30-40 minute Podcast on his drive to work on Mondays. In it, he discusses his design philosophy.
• On the Tropes
• RiffTrax ^note I wouldn't call it a Podcast, but I suppose there's no more appropriate category.

Video Games

• AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! - A Reckless Disregard For Gravity
• Most of the numbered Ace Combat games, but particularly:
  • Ace Combat 04: Shattered Skies
  • Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War (My favorite story in the series ^note and in fact one of my favorite games of any genre in terms of story.)
  • Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War (My favorite gameplay in the series.)
  • Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation
• All of the the main series Assassin's Creed games, including:
  • Assassin's Creed
  • Assassin's Creed II
    • Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
    • Assassin's Creed: Revelations
  • Assassin's Creed III
    • Assassin's Creed III: Liberation
  • Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
  • Assassin's Creed Rogue^note I find it absolutely hilarious that Shay, who is portrayed as a Villain Protagonist, is a far more sympathetic Templar character than Elise of Unity, despite Elise being unequivocally a good guy. Shay is mature and has a strong moral compass, while Elise is hot-headed, arrogant, kind of a bitch, dismissive of the character who wants nothing more than to help her (even more jarring when you realize that she's supposedly in love with him), and obsessed with revenge.
  • Assassin's Creed: Unity
  • Assassin's Creed Syndicate
• Audiosurf
• Beat Hazard
• The BioShock series^note ...except for BioShock 2. That one was so unplayable that I mostly just pretend it doesn't exist.
  • BioShock
  • BioShock Infinite
• The main Borderlands series^note I'm thinking of trying Tales from the Borderlands, but it's not high on my list.:
  • Borderlands
  • Borderlands 2 ^note Probably my favorite in the series so far. The gameplay in TPS has some definite improvements, but I just love the Mechromancer class enough to make up for the slightly less engaging gameplay.
  • Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel!
• Duels Of The Planeswalkers (Pretty much every version.)
• The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
• Fallout 4 ^note Haven't really played the earlier games, but 4 is spectacular.
• The games I've played in the Far Cry series, which are:
  • Far Cry 3
  • Far Cry 4
  • Far Cry Primal
  • Far Cry 5
  • Far Cry: New Dawn
• Several games in the Final Fantasy main series, including:
  • Final Fantasy
  • Final Fantasy IV ^note (I think this was my first Final Fantasy, and to date it's still my favorite by far, probably more due to my Nostalgia Filter than anything else. The visual style is dated but appealing, the music is gorgeous, and the story is simple but carries the game well.)
  • Final Fantasy X
  • Final Fantasy X-2 (Don't you judge me.)
  • Honorable mention goes to the original Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles, which I loved.
  • Theatrhythm Final Fantasy ^note and its sequel Threatrhythm Final Fantasy: Curtain Call is also a guilty pleasure.
• Journey
• A good number of The Legend of Zelda games, including:
  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
  • The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
  • The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  • The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
  • The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
  • The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
  • The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
  • The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds
  • The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
• Life Is Strange
• Mario's Picross and other Picross games
• The Mass Effect Trilogy:
  • Mass Effect
  • Mass Effect 2
  • Mass Effect 3
• Minecraft
• Shadow of the Colossus
• Every game I've played in the Tales Series ^note except for Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World. As with BioShock 2 mentioned above, Tales of Symphonia's sequel was so atrocious I just pretend it doesn't exist:
  • Tales of Phantasia
  • Tales of Symphonia ^note (My first Tales game, and still my favorite by a longshot. One of my absolute favorite games. The story still impresses me after over a decade.)
  • Tales of the Abyss
  • Tales of Graces f
  • Tales of Xillia ^note I'm supremely unimpressed with the plot and the characterization, although it's a nice change for the main protagonist to be a mature, reasonable young man instead of an insufferable twit—but it's like Tales of Bizarro World, because every other character is an insufferable twit instead. The gameplay is great and makes this a solid entry in the series, though.
  • Tales of Xillia 2 is okay, although I haven't finished it, so maybe it will get better. It's not bad.

Web Animation

• 8-Bitch Fyve: Evil on the Attack ^note I've linked it to Arfenhouse, a video series by the same artist, because 8-Bitch Fyve doesn't have a page. If one is created, or if I take it upon myself to do so, I'll update the link.

Western Animation

• Adventure Time (C'mon, grab your friends!)
• Archer
• Bob's Burgers
• Rick and Morty

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Mildly Amusing Things I've Said and/or Heard and Decided to Collect and Post Here in a List:

SolipSchism: [to Scorpion451] I hate you so much it loops around and becomes love.

SolipSchism: [Opinion about whether a trope applies to a Pokémon]

Larkmarn: Yeah, ditto.

SolipSchism: I seem to remember reading somewhere that the rate of reproduction on Earth is so great that at its current rate, if you lined everyone on the planet up single file and marched them past you, the line would literally never end.

Bocaj: I know lines are boring but the answer is not lots of casual procreative sex

SolipSchism: Wait. Wait. Isn't Dalekanium the unbreakable alloy Dalek casings are made of?

The Unsung Bard: Don't know if I'd call it unbreakable seeing as New Who has plenty of Daleks getting blown the fuck up.

SolipSchism: Because according to "Day of the Daleks", "it's a highly effective type of explosive."

The Unsung Bard: Maybe it's more volatile in an unrefined state?

SolipSchism: Fridge Logic: Maybe that's why they're so unexpectedly good at getting blown up. They make themselves out of BOMBS.

[In the "Corrupt-a-Wish" Forum Games Thread]

Miscellaneous Soup: I wish that the next poster was a weasel. They will not bite me or harm in any physical or mental way. That includes paying someone to kill me or harm me.

SolipSchism: Granted. I get into your pantry and eat some of everything, scattering the rest all around the floor; then I chew up the cushions on your couch; then I shit on the couch and pee on your coffee table. Then I turn into a weasel and leave.

Miscellaneous Soup: XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD^note Actually, the "[lol]" laughing-face emoticon was used, but that doesn't work here, so I had to make do.

[On Facebook]

SolipSchism: Got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it. So, does that mean I have no future? Like, I'm going to die soon? That's dark, Panda Express. That's really fucking dark.

Shawn: Or maybe yours is a future that cannot be predicted.

SolipSchism: I AM THE KWISATZ HADERACH.

SolipSchism: [speaking about my boyfriend] I feel like I'm describing an adorable little baby except it's in its late 20s and I want to have sex with it.

Brahian1: [referring to ninja posters; see the paragraph near the bottom of Ninja Editor] holy fuck thats a lot of ninjas

Ghost Elm: Famous Last Words

And Now, The Best Pun Ever

"Plateaus are the highest form of flattery."

—Rather Random Rachel, shortly before achieving divinity

Suddenly, a wild story appears!

In the month of July, in the year 2015, I was struck with an inexplicable compulsion to start writing a bizarre story based on TV Tropes. The story is written in anachronic order, and it's entirely possible that the "Chapter" Things don't even take place in the same continuity, and yet they are all related—they are all a part of the story.

1. First "Chapter" Thing Here
2. Second "Chapter" Thing Here
3. Third "Chapter" Thing Here

Here's what the critics are saying about Whatever This Story Is Called:

Death Vlk: I DIDN'T READ YOUR STORY BECAUSE IT'S TOO FUCKING LONG

Death Vlk: Well apparently I've died a horrible, slow and painful death after engaging in some massively OOC dialogue so like...I don't have an opinion.

Death Vlk: I approve of this rewrite. This is IC enough for a good fiction story.

Death Vlk: Solly, I politely request you give my new body a John Waters mustache.
Death Vlk: It will add to my character.

Oh Boy Time: A fine job for a slightly above average hoe.

Inhopelessguy: oh
Inhopelessguy: my
Inhopelessguy: fucking god
Inhopelessguy: holy shit
Inhopelessguy: I WANT FUCKING MORE SILKYDAD HOLY SHIT GIVE ME MORE

Inhopelessguy: ...quite possibly the most concise definition of the Tree.

Inhopelessguy: This is beautiful.
Inhopelessguy: Thank you, father.

Brahian1: ill just bookmark it and then never actually read it

Baron Green: Wow, Solly, that was quite a tale. Also really well written.

electronic-tragedy: It was an interesting read to say the least.

Ozbourne: Do I even want to know what I am in this........ whatever you're talking a[b]out thing is

Ghost Elm: That... was amazing...

Lior Val: I'm too focused on Mass Effect to read this.
Lior Val: Sorry Solip, but Wrex and Garrus are more interesting.

Lior Val: I demand to be a mad scientist if I am ever in this story.

William Radar Storm: Am I correct in assuming that I am not in the story?

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