Hello Sir/Ma'am.
Welcome to the Trope Co.® Department of Major Vexation. Please wait one moment while he get someone to allow you in.
If you wanted to see an official agent at a faster pace, you should have scheduled an appointment beforehand.
What's that? You did file an appointment and you came exactly on time? "Two months in advance" you say? We're sorry for the mix-up and we'll get right on it when we have someone to fix that teeny-wheeny little error with our state-of-the-art computer system. The last time we had the system upgraded was back in 1998 and all it did was make everything buggier. No, loading times can't go any faster because the bandwidth is busy. We're sorry sir, but the WiFi password is not available for public use. Or use by employees. Or the boss. Or our service provider.
All-right Sir/Ma'am, if you can just Take a Number and stay Right on Queue, we can be right with you. No, that queue is full. The back of the line goes right out the door, circles the building twice, blocks traffic downtown and has just backed itself into the Gulf of Mexico. If you need refreshments, we're sorry, but outside food and drinks are banned from the premises and the water-cooler is for Desk Jockeys only.
We know everything is a little slow today Sir/Ma'am. All of our Beleaguered Bureaucrats just had all of their desks moved down into the leaky basement and no one has checked up on them since then, so all we have on staff are Obstructive Bureaucrats who were only trained to use their Stamp of Rejection, and if your case is rejected you'll be detained in the holding cells alongside the Beleaguered Bureaucrats until your next of kin can come and file Release Form 27b/6 to those same Obstructive Bureaucrats.
All right, what can I do for you today? I'm sorry sir/madam, but you wrote down the form in black ink instead of blue ink and therefor the form will have to be shredded and you will need to submit the proper forms at a later date.
Next.
