Characters Welcome is a Sketch Comedy theatrical showcase presented by the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York. Each sketch, which is usually about five minutes, consists of a single actor depicting a specific character, which can range from the type of slightly weird person you'd know in real life to a completely off-the-wall fantastical creature.
Many of the sketches are posted on their YouTube channel
, and the members of the troupe stream there regularly. Live performances are held in the UCB Theater every month.
Has nothing to do with the tagline of the USA Network.
Tropes in the sketches include:
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: In "Teen Pop Sensation Mobilizes Fan Army, the singer encourages these acts, mostly to harm her ex:"SWAT his house
Leak his nudes
Frame his mom
Abduct his dog
Thumbs down all the videos on his YouTube
Boycott driver sanction, yeah you're doing God's work
Yeah you're doing God's work - But Not Too Gay: "A Straight Gay Teen" spoofs and exaggerates this. Chris's sexuality is written as chastely and inoffensively as possible to appeal to heterosexual audiences. Not only does he not do anal sex of any kind, he doesn't even use his asshole to poop.
- D-Cup Distress: The feminist with big tits who won't burn her bra explains that she can't go through with the classic feminist act because she doesn't want her tits to flop all over. When the feminist march speeds up, she gets more uncomfortable as her chest keeps bouncing."Do you know what it's like to have an extra twelve pounds just attached to your front? It's like each tit is pregnant with a newborn baby. And yet nobody gives up their seat on the bus for me!"
- Defied Trope: The Barking Glass defies Idiosyncrazy by doing everything in their power to NOT have a theme so it's harder for Batman to figure out their plans and stop them.
- Freudian Excuse: In "J. R. R. Tolkien FREAKS OUT over HOBBIT MILK," Tolkien is furious at his editor for excising the numerous references to nipples and lactation from his Lord of the Rings books. At the end, he realizes that his obsession with milk was due to his mother punishing him as a child for not milking the cows enough."'Why milk?' That's what you want to know? You want to know why J.R.R. Tolkien is so obsessed with milk? Pathetic. If I tried to boss my mother around like this, she would have given me three extra spanks with the milk pail and said, 'Go fetch more milk, J.R.R. Tolkien, otherwise it's your fault we're poor.' [Beat] Oh. Yeah, cut all of that."
- Granola Girl: Grace, the feminist with big tits who won't burn her bra, is a 1970s feminist with a flower crown and a desire for gender equality. Unfortunately, she can't indulge in the traditional hippie lifestyle due to her D-Cup Distress. She wants a guy to paint her nipples into peace signs in the back of a van, but "he always runs out of paint," and free love isn't as enticing when the man's too distracted by her chest to focus on her nether regions.
- Hugh Mann: The two trench coats disguised as a human child are very bad at trying to sound human, flopping around and "laughing" by yelling."Nice day to be young and made of skin, don't you think?"
- "I Am" Song: "The Song in Every Musical That No One Likes" is from the perspective of an old man who explains his role in the musical, how he's usually played by a Celebrity Cameo from a once-famous actor, and how uninteresting his song is.
- I Banged Your Mom: One showcase is titled "Guy Fucks His Bully's Dad." Said guy, David, thrives in telling his high school bully (Benjamin Reynolds) that he not only had sex with his dad the previous night, but topped him, and Benjamin's mom was watching. At the end, it's revealed that David has a list of people whose dads he wants to fuck.David: Your mom and dad are really kinky, Ben. Very verbal. At one point, they were calling me "Daddy." I guess that makes me your granddaddy? You can still call me David. Or whatever buttfucking gay slur you and the football team used to call me. It seems fitting since your mom cheered me on while I pig-skinned your dad.
- Kavorka Man: Your OK Looking Friend Who You Find Out Does Orgies is one, as are the people he does orgies with.
- Kinky Role-Playing: The bit where a feminist girlfriend tries to role-play with her boyfriend, but sets up scenarios that put the woman in power. For example, he's the principal and she's a student, but she's 19 and he's very young, and she's in the principal's office because she burned down the gym for not letting her play basketball. In another scenario, he's a Russian general and she's the American spy who uses sex to steal government secrets.
- Multi-Gendered Outfit: In "The Most Unpredictable Batman Villain Yet," the Barking Glass's whole shtick is making everything they are, say, and do as baffling and unpredictable as possible. This includes a garish outfit with a beanie hat, a long black and white wig, poorly smeared-on lipstick, convertible mittens, a crop top depicting Animal from The Muppets, and boating shorts. They claim to be bisexual and deliberately keep their gender ambiguous, singing a song that goes "My middle name is Grover and my middle name is Anne, what am I, am I a woman or a man?" Of course, they're also a Compulsive Liar, so who knows how true any of that is.
- Oblivious to His Own Description: In "No Drama," a man insists that they not invite Toby to their house party because he doesn't want any drama... then he starts screaming, breaks into a complex dance routine, and performs Shakespeare to reinforce that point.
- Sadistic Choice: In one scene, childhood cancer has finally been cured!... by a child molester. The scientist announcing the news goes into a crisis, as the community could either punish the pedophilic scientist but let his cure go unused, letting many more children die... or they could use his cure, but risk many more children being sexually abused.
- Straight Gay: Parodied with "A Straight Gay Teen", starring an incredibly milquetoast rich white teenage boy who treats being gay as the only thing that makes him different... despite his gayness being heavily toned down for mainstream audiences.
- Take That!: "A Straight Gay Teen" is a parody of mainstream gay teen dramas like Love, Simon. The teen in question, Chris, is milquetoast, white, wealthy, and ridiculously chaste, and only exists to be relatable to straight people instead of getting into the reality of what it's like to be gay.
- Totem Pole Trench: Inverted with Eric Feurer's character, "Two Trench Coats Inside of a Kid," in which a pair of trench coats awkwardly tries to act like a human child in order to get into Paddington 2. He goes by the name "Burlington C. Factory." At the end, "he" pays up by vomiting change from his pocket."My parents do money and make taxes, while I enjoy basebowling and having thumbs. I also dance with my friends Macy's and Lord Taylor. We're snarky tweens with hobbies and more bones than you would expect!"
- Transparent Closet: The "mom who's positive she's definitely straight" is very invested in her daughter's lesbianism, reminiscing about how she had similar feelings and experiences in her youth, but is definitely not too unsatisfied with her current husband and their mediocre sex life. She's also very enamored to meet her daughter's girlfriend and take her hand.
