Tear Jerker / Right Ho, Jeeves

• After Anatole gives notice as an unexpected consequence of Bertie's ideas, Aunt Dahlia has this to say. This is Bertie's good aunt:
  Aunt Dahlia: [to Bertie] ...I wonder if you would mind doing something for me. [...] I want you, like a good boy, to fasten the rope to the brick and tie it around your damned neck and jump into the pond and drown yourself. In a few days I will send and have you fished up and buried because I shall need to dance on your grave.
  • That Bertie's answer is just "I'm sorry" makes it even worse.
    Bertie: I acted for what I deemed the best.
    Aunt Dahlia: Another time try acting for the worst. Then we may possibly escape with a mere flesh wound.
• Afterwards, she tells him she wishes she'd let him die as a baby. Because her cook quit. And Bertie was only trying to help her after she lost her paper's money at baccarat.
  • The way all the supposed friends and family of Bertie treat him in this novel is horrifying - and that includes Jeeves.
• At the end of the novel, Bertie has been: insulted and abused by everyone he was trying to help, had the one academic achievement he seems proud of dismissed (very publicly) as cheating, gone on an eighteen-mile bicycle ride while scared out of his mind, only to learn was all useless and that Jeeves real plan was to make everyone hate him to get over their mutual anger (instead of, you know, facing the consequences of their own actions)... and Jeeves reveals that he's "accidentally" ruined Bertie's beloved new mess jacket - the one he'd made Jeeves promise wouldn't be a casualty of his schemes. At this point Bertie is just so exhausted he gives up. Because wanting to be treated like a human being by your family and friends apparently warrants a good Humiliation Conga.

---