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Tear Jerker / ProJared

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Despite being primarily known as an entertaining Deadpan Snarker, a fair chunk of Jared's content contain some heartwrenching moments. Especially from his Nuzlocke playthroughs.


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  • His commentary during the ending of his Alone in the Dark (2008) review concludes with these two lines.
    Jared: So, you know, you can click on either one of these, if you're so inclined.
    Or you can go away, but don't forget about me. I won't forget about you.
  • His Final Fantasy VI review is full of these. But, this speech is particularly heart-wrenching.
    Jared: Celes, so overwrought with grief and the belief that she was truly alone... nothing was going to get better, and the pain unbearable, tries to kill herself... I've been there. That feeling of... overwhelming loss and pain... and heartbreak... and just wanting it to all end. Final Fantasy VI takes this theme of loss and asks: "Which one of these responses, is you?"
    • In a now unlisted Twitch stream, after Jared livestreams the full FFVI review, he starts crying and takes a couple minutes to compose himself.

Nuzlocke

  • The first death of all the Nuzlocke runs: Beatrice the Rattata dying to a critical Peck from a Spearow. Berserker Tears ensued.
  • If that wasn't enough, Lagiacrus becomes the first in a long line of starters to die before their prime. To a Diglett's Magnitude 10. And right after Narbles bites it, too. He's left with only 3 Pokémon after the ordeal.
  • A small chunk of unreleased footage from the livestream of his Pokemon Fire Red Nuzlocke reveals that Nuptup did indeed die to Koga's Muk. If it wasn't for the game crashing, Nuptup's death would have counted. Jared's reaction doesn't help.
    Jared: OOHHHHH NOOOO! NUPTUUUUP!? NUPTUUUUUP!
  • Pokemon Y Episode 25: Jared losing Rathalos to a Pokemon Ranger's Gabite causes him to cross the Despair Event Horizon.
    Jared: NO! NOT A CRIT!! RATHALOS!!! TWO IN A ROW, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
    • This is topped in the next and final episode where loses all of his remaining party members. Once Jinglejangle the Klefki, his final Pokemon, dies, Jared flat-out screams in despair as he whites out.
  • Dark Cry Episode 6: Jared losing Jefina, Nokenil, Pachifetch and Fuhrdan all in one go, and having to say goodbye to all of them.
    Jared: Goodbye Jefina... You bought a turn for us maybe, I dunno. (releases Jefina). Nokenil... the same. (releases Nokenil)... Pachifetch! You were the weirdest thing I ever had, you electric Farfetch'd squirrel not-Flying type... You were also one of my best Pokemon, you even had great moves. (releases Pachifetch)...Why? Why is it always the starters that fall?! WHY?! (releases Fuhrdan)
  • The last episode of his Alpha Sapphire Nuzlocke turns into a complete Curb-Stomp Battle as Jared was not expecting Winona's Altaria to have Earthquake that kills off Zimzy, Fibboo, Traggs and Cordy. At this point, Jared knew he was done for and crosses the Despair Event Horizon as Altaria finishes off Srawling and Rolic.

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