Suspiciously Specific Denial / Web Original

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• Ray in the very first episode of Achievement Hunter Minecraft Series does this when he discovers the house they buy was now covered in lava. Gavin, the one who did it, pulls this as well, claiming he was nowhere near it... until a Creeper attacked.
• angelarts' VA Let's Play Earthbound: During the Christmas special, Jeff can be seen wearing a yarmulke, and he mentions that Tony celebrates Hanukkah. He tries to explain that he is only looking into Jewish customs for scholarly purposes, but Ness doesn't buy it at all.
• Ask a Ninja:
  Q: Do ninjas ever get lonely?
  A: You mean are there nights when I sit alone in a cave, eating Cheez-Whiz out of a can, naming my weapons and making little costumes for them, so we can put on elaborate theatric productions. [beat] No, I don't know what you're talking about. I've got friends.
• ALT1977 would like you to know that their company definitely wasn't founded by rogue time travelers from 33 years in the future. Also, time travel is impossible, and will never happen. Especially not 33 years from now.
• Many of the pictures on The Comically Serious site averagecats.com come across this way. For example...
• From The Awkward Compilation:
  Lester: Home so soon?
  Alex: I didn't come from anywhere suspicious.
• In one of John Finnemore's Cabin Fever videos about Arthur Shappey in quarantine during the coronovirus pandemic, he says that he and the pilots have decided that even after they're out of quarantine they should avoid visiting Carolyn.
  Arthur: Now, that's not because she's old. I remember that very clearly. It's definitely not because she's old, because she's not old, and nobody thinks she's old. And it's also nothing to do with how wheezy she gets when she goes upstairs sometimes. The reason is ... I've actually forgotten what the reason is, but I do know that the reason is nothing to do with how old anybody is.
• The Call of Warr: Killsin didn't find anything in the boxes that he's not sharing — not at all!
• Cerberus Daily News is supposedly the comments section of an online newspaper in the Mass Effect universe. Two hundred years previously, that universe suffered a Robot Rebellion. The robots are still out there, and may or may not be spying on the rest of the galaxy. One of the posters in the comments goes by the screen name "Inconspicuous_Organic," and constantly says that he's a "robust human specimen." (He's fooling nobody, but he's not harmful enough to justify booting.)
• The Chaser's War On Everything with this gem
• From Dropout's Hardly Working, "I repeat, just testing the alarm in the event of a widespread fire in the basement. No fires today, though." Then the building manager makes an announcement about Stick Towels Under Your Doors Day (with crackling flames heard in the background), causing Jake to lampshade why such a day even exists, but all of the others are Too Dumb to Live, since they think Jake is trying to tell a joke that they obviously don't like.
  • Jake and Amir: Rick Fox frequently insists that he is not a chicken. Such an egregious example that despite being very visibly true, eventually even Jake starts to suspect the contrary.
• Channel Awesome:
  • During a charity drive, one of the viewers asked about the possibility of another Spooning With Spoony video. Spoony immediately flew into a rage about how it was never, ever happening. He had actually filmed said episode just hours earlier, and it was released the next week.
  • Associate TGWTG producer Cinema Snob wants us to know that under no circumstances should anyone think that he owns a copy of Weekend at Bernie's. He's too classy for that.
  • Also, the Christmas horror movie Elves:
    Movie Protagonist: [to her cat] You're the only friend I have left!
    Snob: [glances at Lloyd, his Siamese] Psh, whatever... I have friends! This movie isn't speaking to me in a weird way.
• Commentary! The Musical has Felicia Day say "I certainly wasn't thinking about how cute Nathan is!"
• This Cracked article, in which the editor routinely interrupts the testimony of the other writers to strenuously and insistently deny that he had any reason to murder nor any ability or plans to murder the deceased columnist in question, who he probably didn't even see that night and even if he did he certainly didn't intend to murder him. He gets so caught up in it that he doesn't even notice when the actual killer nonchalantly confesses to committing the deed.
• Cracked: "Greatest Customer Feedback Ever Sent to McDonald's": A man found in a ball-pit that he filled with lube claims to have been mistaken for a pedophile. His excuses are extremely convoluted. He even wore a "I Am Not A Child Predator" t-shirt. Either he's a crazy stupid pedophile or a crazy stupid Manchild. Either way, it's not looking so good for him.
• One of Cracked.com's Harry Potter book jacket disguises declares this book has "no wizards or anything like that."
• From David Mitchell's Soapbox:
  "I do not have OCD. I've checked. Three or four hundred times. And I definitely don't. I stop myself catching it by washing my hands an even number of times. But I'm aware I'm at an at-risk group... I don't care about the odd pound, either, but I want the books balanced, only for the same reasons that if I saw two piles of actual books, I would want them literally balanced. It's neater that way. It's better. How can they not see that?"
• Quinn in Demo Reel is not a member of the IRA and isn't going to answer any more questions.
• In the first episode of Critical Role's third campaign, Bertrand asks the group if they're wanted anywhere. Fearne says some aren't wanted in Jrusar, their current location. She, Dorian, and Orym have targets on their heads by Emon's underground syndicate.
• Happens quite often to Aidric Carter, partly because he's a rebel on the run from a dystopian government.
  Aidric: "Uuuuh, no worries! Nothing to see here! Poor kid took a nasty and extremely unlikely spill that was in no way related to me, that's all!"
• Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog has Dr. Horrible, Clark Kenting as Billy, bump into his arch-nemesis. "We're meeting now for the first time!"
  • "What a crazy random happenstance!"
  • Played for Drama at the end in "Everything You Ever". "And I am fiii-ine..."
• Johnny Chiodini of Dicebreaker fields a question in a "Dungeonbreaker" Dungeons & Dragons video, only to realise that they neglected to come up with an answer ahead of time:
  Alex Lolies: (in-character as Mist) What's [the zeppelin's] name?
  Johnny: (in-character as Amelia Montebanc) That's a very good question, and I will answer it, because I know.
  [chorus of laughs from the other players]
• The Evil Atheist Conspiracy doesn't exist.
  That's the most important thing to keep in mind when discussing the evil Atheist conspiracy (or eAc as its members call it, that is, if it had any members, which it doesn't, since it doesn't really exist). In fact, you can probably just disregard that first paragraph altogether.
• Jessica of Fat, French and Fabulous may or may not have broken into a house after getting stranded on the side of the road. She may or may not have also accidentally let out the corgi.
• Gordon from Freeman's Mind notes that the intercom wouldn't specifically warn them to not do obviously dangerous things unless someone has already tried them.
• At the start of the Game Grumps' playthrough of the secret epilogue of Sonic Adventure DX, this happens:
  Dan: I'd like to put everyone's mind at ease who was afraid that maybe we just re-started the episode from the cutscene because the first time we weren't paying attention to what Tails said and we ran around the world for like twenty minutes not knowing where to go in the fucking finale. That did not happen.
  Arin: No, it didn't. That's crazy talk.
  Dan: I know, right?
• "G is for Giraffe. An animal I have never licked. Never. Never."
• In Hitherby Dragons "Meredith's Fairy Tale", a witch gives Meredith some tea leaves that are in no way cursed.
• From Episode 5 of Horrible People:
  Arturo: Where do you think you're going with that turkey baster?
  Michael: Out of my way.
  Arturo: But that doesn't belong to you.
  Michael: Look, Arturo, it's not like I'm going to jack off into this thing and fill it full of semen so I can impregnate one of your female guests.
  Arturo: I think that's exactly what you are going to do.
• Comedian Andrew O'Neill references this trope in his video I'm not being racist but... . In summary, he demonstrates that the phrase renders anything suspicious and disturbing, such that if you preface a genuinely non-racist statement with it, it invites it to be interpreted as racist.
• Jenny Nicholson:
  • In her video reviewing every porg she makes sure to point out that the porgs were donated by the "Los Angeles Porg Archives", while wearing a porg hoody and showing a bed barely containing the multitude of porgs.
    Jenny: I don't own them all myself. That would be excessive. And sad.
  • As she explains how Disney's approach towards brand integrity means significant restrictions on what situations a character is allowed to be shown in:
    Jenny: That's why if you meet Kylo Ren at Disneyland and try to hug him, you get yelled at. Not that I tried to hug him. But if you do, that's what happens.
• On Lewis Brindley and Simon Lane's fourth series of Trouble in Terrorist Town ^note Simon was missing from series 4, Hat Films' Ross has a bad case of this mixed with Implausible Deniability, something he's become renowned for. He starts by shooting Sips, Duncan Jones (after telling them "poop into mouth", a euphemism for the "Eat Shit" meme that Ross started) and then Lewis. After the alarm is raised due to Ross missing his first few shots at Lewis, he continues to deny it, while firing on the innocents.
  Ross: [after having killed Duncan] Poop into mouth.
  [Ross then wanders out, as Lewis enters to discover there's blood everywhere]
  Lewis: Ross? [promptly gets shot at] Ross is shooting at me!
  Ross: No I'm not! I'm not trying to make you eat shit at all! [keeps firing]
  Lewis: It's definitely Ross, he's shooting me!
  Ross: It's not me! It's not me! It's not me! Who is it?
• There was a LoadingReadyRun video involving Paul denying having a family of tiny people living under his hat. The commentary discusses the trope.
  Matt: Heh, it would be pretty funny, though. Like, where would they go to the bathroom?
  Paul: Oh... uh... ooh... I have to go now... because... I have a fire... stuck... in my pants...
  (Paul turns and flees from the room)
  • Invoked again, multiple times in Suspiciously Good Movers
    • Staggeringly Fast Loans is in no way a spiritual successor, which does not invoke this trope.
  • EVERYTHING IS FINE.
• Moxie2D will have you know that he's not playing his Platinum Artlocke on an emulater. His uncle works at Nintendo and gave him a special limited edition DS that can speed up the game. No, really.
• MrBeast: In "I Spent 7 Days Buried Alive," Kris says "We definitely stayed up all night and dug this tunnel and didn't pay that guy to do it." The camera then tilts to show a guy in an excavator, who waves.
• In Episode 9 of The Music Video Show. ""You don't see me taking a bunch of Creed albums, putting them in a garbage truck and setting the truck on fire." To be fair, the battery for the camera died before he could do it.
• The Neopets Staff would like to remind you that there is no such place as Jelly World, and the very idea of it is silly.
• This parody advertisement for New Girl insists that Zooey Deschanel is "definitely one hundred percent human" with human friends that she would "never dream of eating or enslaving."
• Parodied in a real-life scene in Noob. Kevin (Sparadrap) tries to "kidnap" Stanislas (Arthéon) while wearing a Paper-Thin Disguise. Stanislas recognizes Kevin immediately, calling him "Sparadrap". The answer he gets : "No, no, mister, I'm not Sparadrap! You must be confusing me with another priest in another MMORPG.".
• The Nostalgia Chick:
  • A Running Gag in the "Top 11 Villainesses" countdown. She'll lie very badly that "It's not like there's pictures of me dressed up as [this character] for Halloween"; cut to a picture of her cosplaying, soundtracked with a scream.
  • One of The Nostalgia Chick's recurring characters, Dr. Tease, has a tendency to do this too.
  Nostalgia Chick: Where's Dr. Block?
  Dr. Tease: Oh, uh—not in space.
  • Subverted another time, when she responds "Not indisposed because she and Nella are really the same person." A few episodes later we see Dr. Block, and the Chick is confused because she assumed that they were.
• This Not Always Right post is such a perfect example it makes you wonder if the guy rehearsed it before.
• The parody Twitter Not A Cop. He just wants to know what illegal crimes you're committing. And because he's a fellow lawbreaker like yourself, not because he's an undercover cop or anything...
• This joke OK Cupid profile (at least, we all hope it's a joke). Starts with, "I'm a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder."... It Gets Worse.
• "My name is Olan Rogers. I am not an astronaut, a geophysicist, nor am I dragon slayer."
• The Onion:
  • Shortly after the paper was sold to a Chinese company, an article was written entitled "Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families" that takes this trope to its logical conclusion by stating that nothing happened to some Tibetan protesters, then explaining, in great detail, precisely what didn't happen to them.
    According to the great and trustworthy Chinese government, the eternal silencing of demonstrators was in no way carried out at 6:15 p.m., shortly after dusk, by officers of the People's Armed Police. Moreover, at this time, noxious gases were not at all fired into the teeming crowd, especially not at the children, who failed to fall like sacks of flour onto the pavement below. "Stop, you can't do this," a Tibetan woman reportedly cried as though she were being violently detained, which, as noted, was impossible. "Where are you taking me? Get your hands off me!"
  • In another article, a long Infomercial for "fine fish-based foodstuffs from Yu Wan Mei" notes that "health experts agree: Fish Time cannot cause acute peripheral neuropathy."
  • The Onion is fond of these. Here's one about Google
  • Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reason.
  • "Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart", where absolutely no one is willing to admit that they shop at Walmart. Everyone — the hostages, witnesses, the mass shooter himself, the reporters and even the higher ups at Walmart — constantly pause to explain that they are only there by coincidence and definitely don't shop there or know anything about the store's merchandise.
• This unblock request at The Other Wiki (lampshaded immediately thereafter).
• Outside Xbox has had many examples over the years.
  • Jane regularly runs into this due to her status as the Token Evil Teammate. Lampshaded in the "Halo Wars 2" Show of the Week episode, where after a sentence where she twice emphasises that she isn't in touch with aliens and they're not asking her to send messages, Andy comments that her denials are "weirdly specific".
  • Over in the Outside Xtra sibling channel, Luke runs into this when he's caught in the midst of drawing Bowsette-style art for a weekly quiz:
    Luke: We're doing normal things! I'm a normal adult man!
  • During Showdown of the Weekend 2019, Andy regularly claimed to be impartial about thirty seconds after demonstrating a clear lack of impartiality.
  • Their liveshow at EGX 2017 opened with a voice that is clearly Andy insisting that they "definitely have their own announcer so stop asking".
  • The "Eight Disguises That Aren't Fooling Anyone" video is presented by a mysterious person who looks just like Andy wearing a wig and a false nose, who makes several comments along the lines of "That's an even worse disguise than the one that I would be wearing if I were wearing a disguise, which I'm not".
  • One episode of Show of the Weekend has Ellen accidentally shoot Andy with a VR aim controller. After hiding his body behind the purple sofa, Luke delivers the opening lyrics of the show with some twists.
    Luke: Show of the Weekend, everything is cool. Show of the Weekend, we didn't kill Andy.
    Ellen: Play the thing!^note Referring to the opening
  • After a commenter jokes about Andy playing as if Mike were the one at the controls:
    Mike: Don't be ridiculous, Andy! How would I even go about constructing a voodoo doll that would allow me to remote control you? I mean, where would I find the scraps of clothing and bits of hair required to complete the ritual?
    Andy: ...that's pretty specific.
  • Mike's sure that he's never mentioned his love of Dark Souls on the Outside Xtra channel, or the Outside Xbox channel, or just to bored family members over dinner.
  • In the list video "7 Acronyms So Painful They Need an Ice Pack: Commenter Edition", Luke accidentally reveals that he might not be what he seems:
    Luke: When a breed of sinister robots is killing people and taking their places, your primary concerns should be: 1) What kick-ass name can we give the anti-robot taskforce and 2) Does anyone realize that I'm one of those robots? Wait, I've said too much...
    [later]
    Luke: After all, who could possibly hope to get anything straightened out by an organization whose name stands for "Japanese Undercover Neuro Kinetic Elimination Ranger", which is exactly the kind of pitiful human word garbage that I, as a regular human, have no problem with.
  • Show of the Week for 14 December 2012:
    Jane: Welcome to Show of the Week, which is definitely a real show about video games, and not a money laundering operation for illegal backstreet gambling.
    Mike: That was unusually specific.
    Jane: And you'll stay out of it if you know what's good for you.
  • In their Blades in the Dark campaign, Andy's character has to praise the work of his Arch-Enemy who keeps stealing his inventions. The high point is probably when he praises an Astor lock as "a wonderful lock, and not at all a stupid lock a baby could have made."
  • In their "One-Shot Wonders" series, Johnny decides during character creation for Adventure Skeletons, for no reason other than Rule of Funny, that their character, Cursed Skeleton #18, is prone to saying things like "I'M NOT AN ELF!" at random intervals.
• In the FAQ of the Pac-Man Dossier:
  Q: Where can I download a copy of the Pac-Man ROMs?
  A: The Pac-Man ROMs are under copyright to NAMCO Bandai, LTD and are their intellectual property. I cannot legally provide you with them, and I certainly cannot recommend that you go to Google right away and search for “pacman puckman ROMs MAME32” because you would probably find them after a little searching.
• This post at The Panda's Thumb, discusses an e-mail they received titled "A legitimate question about Evolution with no agenda."
• A staple gag on RiffTrax. In the short Three Magic Words, Bill does a particularly epic version in song:
  Bill: "We're not going to strangle you and say a prayer to Lucifer and sacrifice you on the kitchen floor! On the floor! By the Door! We won't dis-em-bowel you on the kitchen floor!"
• Rooster Teeth Shorts:
  • Burnie insists he wouldn't want a Henckman Brothers Model 607 Trapdoor.
  • Gus's volunteer trip to the Gulf Coast was totally not a secret vacation to Hawaii.
• SCP Foundation:
  • That time somebody pushed Dr. Clef into SCP-682's enclosure was a freak accident and in no way an attempt to kill him. Additionally, the high-speed introduction of the guilty party's face to a table shortly afterward, resulting in a snapped neck, was the result of 682 somehow breaching containment, then promptly returning to its cell. Without disappearing from the camera feed at any point. It was definitely not Dr. Clef.
  • Similarly, when Doctor Kondraki was interviewing Doctor Clef following a very serious containment breach, "Dr. Clef accidentally fell out of his chair and struck his head nine times against the corner of the desk, fracturing his skull and snapping his neck between the second and third vertebrae."
  • Also, SCP-61231's anomalous effects tend to lead to this, along with Confusing Multiple Negatives.
  SCP-61231 and Dr. B██████ do not silently maintain eye contact for 10 seconds.
• Search for Sandvich: When the Giggling Secretary is asked by the Sniper who she is, she responds by curtly insisting that she was not laughing at him, even though he never accused her of that.
  Giggling Secretary: I was not laughing at you, I was laughing at my book!
• From the video Sex Offender Shuffle, Arthur Chase's rap features the lines, "I'm not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase / That's a different Arthur Chase."
• SF Debris: Parody Janeway is prone to this.
  "My father died, too, and I totally have an alibi and everything."
• Skippy's List has examples:
  151. The proper way to report to my Commander is "Specialist Schwarz, reporting as ordered, Sir" not "You can't prove a thing!"
• As the writers of Snopes will tell you, this trope is a good rule of thumb for determining if a rumor spawned in a chain email is actually true. If the writer of said email feels the need to preface it with "This is not a hoax!", it probably is.
• Featured on Something Awful, the "P-P-P-Powerbook", made from a white binder with sharpie doodled on it, assures you that "This is real".
• Spelljammer: "Oortling Central Command (Terraspace) press release to Surviving Members of the Spelljammer Mail List. Not that there was any reason to panic, anyway."
• The joke website Ted Cruz For Human President is this trope in a nutshell. One example:
  Ted Cruz is only one being and not several. — Guy Manderson
• Test Subject Series ASMR: There is no particular reason for making your skin bulletproof. They're defiantly not planning to create an army of powerful mutants— they would never do something like that.
• Totally Not Robots is a subreddit about robots pretending to be humans but failing badly by doing every stereotypical robot trope as well as calling anyone who doesn't get the joke a robot.
• This message board commenter states "I don’t have a secret stash of illegally taped sex."
• Invoked by comedian Mike Ginn's Twitter post of 'My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt', which went on to produce a great deal of Memetic Mutation.
• In the Ultra Fast Pony episode "Bummer In The City", Rarity says all of the following without so much as pausing for breath:
  Thanks, it's as soft as a newborn baby's skin, which has nothing to do with all those babies that went missing I don't know how those skeletons got there what are you a cop I don't have to answer any of these questions I know my rights.
• There is no Usenet cabal. There has never been a USENET cabal. Any claims that a person or administrator might be part of such a cabal are unfounded and spurious. Similarly, there is no Lumber Cartel, and moustachio'd people named Eric are not in any way a hacker organization.
• In "Very Fast Death Factor" by YouTube channel Periodic Videos, the presenter has a flask containing enough algal bloom toxin to kill 350 people. He ends the video by saying "We're not interested in killing 350 people."
• Not this X-Men: First Class meme pic.
• Yogscast: Episode 12 from Simon Lane, Lewis Brindley, and Duncan Jones' Voltz Pack series has this little gem:
  <Sips_> hey come check out our cool base guys
  <Sips_> i promise that there's no crazy wormhole thing under our base continually killing us
  • The series Yoglabs is full of this.

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