"SHAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"
The Osbournes was a Reality Show which aired on MTV for three seasons, 2002-2005. It followed the misadventures of the namesake family Ozzy, his wife Sharon and their children Kelly and son Jack. In the second season, Jack and Kelly's friend Rob (Robert Marcato) joins the family; the Osbournes take him in after his mother dies of cancer. Also appearing on the show was Melinda, Sharon's personal assistant. Not appearing on the show was Ozzy and Sharon's eldest daughter Aimee, who refused to be involved; Aimee Osbourne was never mentioned and when the cameras occasionally caught family photos that included her, her face was blurred out.
The show provides examples of:
- And Starring: Ozzy, as "The Dad".
- Bad Santa: One is seen during one of Ozzy's gigs. Slutty Mrs. Claus and evil little elves are also present.
- Bumbling Dad: Ozzy. How much of it is due to his substance abuse and how much is simply part of his nature is up for debate.
- The Cameo: The whole family had one in Austin Powers in Goldmember.
- Christmas Episode: Two of them.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Everywhere.note
- Sound-Effect Bleep: Incredibly enough Ozzy prefers this version, due to the cursing being more noticeable thanks to the bleeps.
- Deadpan Snarker: Ozzy.Ozzy: You know I thought I saw it all but now I have a fucking dog therapist. Fucking hell...
- Do Not Call Me "Paul": Even Sharon calls him Ozzy.
- Drowning My Sorrows: Sharon's cancer and the huge success of the show took their toll. Ozzy relapsed when filming the beginning of season two and Jack and Kelly's partying developed into heavy addictions that sent them both to rehab.
- Even the Subtitler Is Stumped: Sometimes, the close captioning would simply say "Ozzy mumbling".
- Gilligan Cut: Ozzy refuses to do a concert. Cut to him performing.
- Ozzy refuses to record and perform a music video for a version of Winter Wonderland with Jessica Simpson. Cut to the music video with the song playing.
- The Grinch: Ozzy makes his feelings on Christmas quite clear.Ozzy: I fucking hate Christmas. I fucking hate it with a passion.
- Grumpy Old Man: Once again, Ozzy.
- In the Style of: Opening theme is a jazz-swing cover of "Crazy Train".
- Jaded Washout: The show portrays Ozzy as a millionaire version of this. Ozzy frequently appears to be disrespected by his family, especially his wife, and comes off as actually being more sane than the rest of them. An example is when the cat gets out of the house and Ozzy, with a broken leg, chases it through trees and bushes because he doesn't want the coyotes to eat it. Kelly claims she can't do it because she has a broken leg, Jack either doesn't know or care whats going on and Sharon purposely ignores him when he asks someone to go save the cat (its revealed in the DVD commentary that Sharon could hear his cries for help the whole time).
- Kayfabe: The cast of the original show prided themselves on the fact their show was not scripted like most of the ones that followed. However, The Osbournes is a large reason why most of them are now, since filming in this style took a lot more time (and money) to get enough usable footage.
- Loud of War:
- Sharon and the kids started one with their noisy neighbors in season one.
- Ozzy proceeds to end it by throwing a chunk of firewood over the fence into the noisy neighbor's yard. Glass shatters, Ozzy wanders out of the bushes, and the episode ends with police car sirens wailing in the background.
- Lousy Lovers Are Losers: One episode features a segment where Ozzy and Sharon are interviewed about their sex life and it basically boils down to "Ozzy takes Viagra, Sharon falls asleep while waiting for it to work, Ozzy tries to wake Sharon when it kicks in, Ozzy gets yelled at."
- Mama Bear / Papa Wolf: Its made clear Ozzy and Sharon are very protective of their children.Ozzy to Kelly: "Nobody better be messing around with you or-or... *picks up massive stone pestle* Or they'll get that up their fucking ass!"
- Manipulative Editing: Some scenes are edited like this to make them seem more comical.
- Lampshaded in the first season commentary by Jack who often points out "the magic of MTV editing".
- Mr. Vice Guy: Ozzy is clearly a kind man with a good heart. He's also a notorious drug addict and alcoholic.
- Only Sane Man: Ozzy, surprisingly enough. He often reflects on how excessive the family's spending is, how senseless his children's nightlife behavior is, how they have too many animals, how nobody takes his wishes and opinions seriously and how unnecessarily hi-tech his house is ("Fucking space age shit!"). His only desires seem to be relaxing and watching The History Channel while the rest of the family indulges in their fame and fortune.Ozzy: I love you all, I love you more than life itself...but you all are fucking mad.
- The Scrooge: Ozzy shits himself when he knows Sharon and Kelly are going shopping and for the early part of the series how much money that Sharon spent on their house is brought up as a bone of contention. Even on his birthday, which occurred when he was away on tour, when Sharon asked him if he wanted them to come visit him on his birthday he simply said "Can't afford it, got no dough."
- He did grow up poor, so it kind of makes sense.
- And on the other, it's probably responsible for him being able to live as well as he does rather than being literally filthy rich one day and losing it all the next (like what happened to a lot of Hair Metal bands who made it, then broke it - Twisted Sister comes to mind).
- Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll: The Osbournes is a happier-than-usual outcome to this trope.
- Start My Own: Kelly Osbourne started her musical career, and Sharon had a talk show.
- Take That!: The last episode of the second season "Ozz Well That Ends Welll was all staged. In the episode, Jack kills Minnie in his sleep and he, Kelly and Sharon leave the house for good, leaving Ozzy all on his own. At the end of the episode, we hear a director yell "Cut!" and we see the whole crew and Sharon, Kelly and Jack with them. On the DVD Commentary, Sharon said that this was to get back at people complaining that the show was scripted and staged.
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Lola vomits after swimming in the pool with Jack.
- Weight Woe: After his accident, Ozzy was left laid up for some time. Eventually he starts griping about the weight he’s been putting on since he can't exercise. The kids even tease him a bit about it.
