- There's nothing worse than a bad tattoo.— Opening narration
"Now, with shops popping up in every town in America, bad tattoos have become an epidemic." That’s a serious charge, but justified.
Tattoo Nightmares ran on Spike TV from 2012 to 2015 (and still airs re-runs every so often on the Paramount Network). Tommy Helm (a first-season Ink Master finalist, left), Jasmine Rodriguez (center), and “Big Gus” (right) are operating an eponymous Los Angeles-based studio specializing in the seriously difficult art of tattoo cover-ups.
How difficult? As each client recounts their tale of ink woes to the artist, we are shown reenactments of their version of events surrounding the ink in a Flashback Effect. Despite the humorous spin on their anecdotes, some of them are shown to venture into Dude, Not Funny! territory.
Clients included Nicole Eggert, Lorenzo Lamas, and Masked Luchador Ivelisse (Milagro-Velez).
Spun off Tattoo Nightmares: Miami in 2014.
Tropes appearing in this series:
- Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: One good example is Davina, who got sufficiently drunk to garble her words and make the club announcer assume she was going by the alias of Dirty. Guess what her tattoo was?
- Christmas Episode: Also includes a partially filled-in Star of David tattoo prior to a Chanukah dinner with the mishpachahnote .
- Embarrassing Tattoo: The raison d’etre for the studio (also see its Analysis page).
- Some of the clients mention getting their ink underage and their parents enforcing this trope to teach the kid a lesson.
- Fourth-Date Marriage: One client picked up a girl in Las Vegas, and drunkenly decided her tramp stamp was beautiful enough to get it himself. They then got married at a 24-hour chapel, with a midget Elvis Impersonator officiating. Amazingly, the relationship actually held, as the reason he came in to have the tattoo covered up was because she'd just had their first child and he didn't want a tattoo that would embarrass his son when he was older.
- Genius Ditz: Big Gus describes himself as not being particularly academic but, besides his craft, sometimes talks fondly of his fishing exploits.
- Gone Horribly Right: “If you make the tattoo as ugly and painful as possible, we will pay you double.” The lesson about getting a tattoo as a minor went too well, as it resulted in an estrangement.
- Impairment Shot: Whenever a reenactment features a drunk or drugged client choosing their print.
- It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time: While these Exact Words are rarely used, it is the core invocation of the clientele.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: The Lizard King, among others. Triple that when he says, “I got this.”
- "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: Just for starters, one client claimed to have been in a 16-hour video-game football marathon.
- Pain to the Ass: One client describes his tattoo, conceived at a campfire, as having this kind of effect. He felt that getting incisions would have been simpler.
- Power Trio: Tommy, Jasmine, and Gus (Los Angeles). Clint, High Noon, and Reese (Miami).
- The Reveal: Two per client: what they want covered up, and the result of the cover-up.
- Shown Their Work: While episodes are compressed for time, the process is not downplayed in the slightest (especially not with regards to that needle).
- “Tramp stamp” is a frequently used term that refers to the lower back of a female (not their only creator-speak).
- Stylistic Suck: The reenactments / dramatizations, based on the clients' accounts.
- The Smurfette Principle: In any episode where all of the clients are male, this applies to Jasmine or Reese.
- Unusual Euphemisms: One example being "the holy land" for the area within a fraction of the butt crack.
- What Were You Thinking? While these are rarely the Exact Words of the artist working on the cover-up, this is their reaction to most of their clients’ accounts.
