Series / Sorry, I've Got No Head

Sorry, I've Got No Head is a CBBC Sketch Comedy show that aired from 2009 to 2011 for three series.

Some of the recurring sketches included, but were by no means limited to:

• Headless Bill, a man with no head and the namesake of the show. Pretty much every joke in these segments has to do with Bill messing up something or otherwise getting in trouble due to his lack of a head. Appeared in Series 1 and 2.
• Jasmine and Prudith, a pair of elderly women who think everything they try to buy will cost a thousand pounds, regardless of what the person they're interacting with says about what the item actually costs. After they try to buy whatever, they say they will go to do something that actually would cost a thousand pounds, such as buying expensive stuff like a mansion. Appeared in all three series.
• Backstage Access, which shows the daily lives of video game characters. Appeared in Series 1 and 2. These sketches got a spinoff show called Pixelface in 2011.
• Timothy, whose mother always came up with numerous unconventional ways to bypass the traffic while getting her son to school. All of the attempts fail, however, causing her to just get the car keys instead. Appeared in Series 1 and 2.
• Steve and his time machine. His friend, Frank, constantly had to deal with Steve using the time machine to spoil something for him just so that he doesn't have to wait to do whatever he wants... all this despite promising to do something else in the future. Only appeared in Series 1.
• Two men are preparing to watch a movie on the DVD player. One of them selects the wrong language/country setting, though, which causes the background to change to a setting from that country, and the other guy's clothing changing accordingly (for example, when "China" is selected, the setting changes to the Great Wall of China and the other guy suddenly wears martial arts clothing). Only appeared in Series 1.
• Embarrassed Louise. Whenever she gets embarrassed, she inflates like a balloon. Appeared in Series 2 and 3.
• The Outer Hebridean Island of North Barassay, which contains a school that has only one teacher and one student. Appeared in all three series.
• The Witchfinder General, a person dressed in Stuart-era clothes who will accuse anybody who so much as annoys or inconveniences him of being a witch and summon a group of peasants to drag them away. Appeared in all three series.

---

This show provides examples of:

• Angry Mob: Whenever the Witchfinder accuses someone of being a witch, an angry mob of Stuart-era peasants immediately appears and drags the accused off to burn them.
• Artifact Title: The Headless Bill segments did not appear in Series 3. Despite this, the show kept its name, which comes from these segments.
• Artistic License – Geography: One of the country settings on the DVD player in the "I think I chose [country] by mistake" segments is Transylvania, which is a region in Romania, not a country on its own. It's most likely done for Rule of Funny, since otherwise they wouldn't have been able to do a skit showing one of them being turned into a vampire upon that setting being selected.
• Burn the Witch!: The fate of anyone accused of being a witch by the Witchfinder, which is anyone who annoys or inconveniences him.
• Catapult to Glory: One of Timothy's attempts to get to school involved using a giant slingshot.
• Catchphrase: Several. Most of them are Mad Libs Catchphrases.
  • "Sorry, it's just that I've got no head."
    • "Of course I can't tell, because I haven't got a head, but it sure feels like good [task]."
  • "Is there a bee in here?"
  • "A THOUSAND POUNDS! THAT'S ABSURD!"
    • "Nothing's free these days." "Except for those free [thing, usually followed by a strange Noodle Incident on why they aren't allowed those anymore]."
  • "Remember [person]?"
    • "He would have loved that [singer]."
    • "So what happened to [same person]?"
  • "I think I picked [country] by mistake. Is that a problem?"
  • "Do you have trouble [everyday action]? [more specific rephrasing]? Well, that's because you're using a [random object] instead of [object normally used for task]!"
  • "You're going to use your time machine to go into the future and see [something] so we can go to the [building] earlier!"
  • "It's got 10 [safety gear]. 11's too many. 9, and I might as well go jump off a cliff."
• Company Cross References: There is a segment based on EastEnders and Doctor Who is mentioned in some segments. Both series are aired by The BBC, whose children's channel CBBC airs Sorry, I've Got No Head.

• Cowardly Lion: The Fearless Vikings, who, despite their name, constantly get scared for no real reason.
• Crapsaccharine World: Implied by Mr. Faraway in a ‘Museum of Imagination’ sketch where he pretends to be from the future.
  Mr. Faraway: In the future, it is illegal to not be enthusiastic, punishable by six days of constant smiliness!
• Disproportionate Retribution:
  • If anyone ever ends up annoying the Witchfinder General through even the slightest misdemeanor, expect him to call them a witch and summon some peasants to take them away.
  • One series of sketches involved a police officer who handcuffed people for doing perfectly mundane things, such as playing an arcade game or eating a bag of crisps. To his credit, though, the police officer keeps mistaking the perfectly legal actions with criminal activities (for example, he mistakes the person playing the arcade game for an out-of-control driver without a driver's license due to the game in question being a racing game), and he seems legitimately unaware of his mistake until another policeman points it out to him.
• French Jerk: In a later series, Phillipe Lavavaseur is revealed to be able to speak English, and takes advantage of the fact that Danny's father doesn't know. Phillipe also deliberately gets Danny into trouble with his father.
• Happiness Is Mandatory: In one of the "Museum of Imagination" sketches, Mr. Faraway claims that it's illegal to not be enthusiastic in the future.
• High Hopes, Zero Talent: Emily and Monty, who after auditioning for every show in Britain and failing, still decide that they should press ahead with their own show.
• Imaginary Friend: One of the series of sketches was about an imaginary friend named Billy, whose creator, Max, managed to imagine him hard enough that he can be seen by others. Billy is capable of making contact with real objects, but still has to use imaginary versions of said objects anyway. Or at least, that’s what he claims, but in actuality he’s a very real person running a scheme to get his hands on whatever real item he wants when the other two leave the room.
• Inflating Body Gag: Embarrassed Louise, whose body inflates into a massive ball whenever she gets embarrassed. Which causes problems if she's trying to get through a door, or if she's inside a phone booth.
• Keep It Foreign: Phillipe Lavavaseur the French exchange student is changed to a Canadian in the French dub.
• Le Film Artistique: One of the French Exchange Student sketches has Philippe insisting on watching "Les Deux Cellos de M. Gravice", which is black and white and features a man playing two cellos.
• Never My Fault: In one of the Outer Hebridean Island of North Barassay sketches, the teacher's fountain pen goes missing, and she thinks her only student took it. She eventually finds the pen under the kitchen table at her house, but refuses to believe that she might have just misplaced it by accident.
• A Pirate 400 Years Too Late: "The Bluebeards" sketches are about a modern-day pirate family whose son Jim Bluebeard struggles with his life at a Privateer school.
• Police Are Useless: The sketches with the cop always have him mistaking mundane activities for legitimate crimes and having to be told that whatever the person is doing isn't a crime, after he's already handcuffed the supposed "offender".
• Revealing Hug: A skit about EastEnders employed this. In the midst of the revealing hug, the EastEnders theme song starts playing when another character interrupts the two who are hugging, pointing out this trope and that one of them was lying to the other. The woman of the duo runs off crying, and the man, feeling sad, asks for a hug. Cue the same music and the same look.
• Shout-Out:
  • SpongeBob SquarePants is mentioned by name in one Jasmine and Prudith segment.
  • Doctor Who is mentioned in some segments.
• Spin-Off: Pixelface is spun off from the "Backstage Access" skits.
• Spoiler: In-universe example. One of the things Steve spoils for Frank is a surprise twist in a movie, namely who murdered someone. Turns out Orlando Bloom's character did it.
• Time-Traveling Jerkass: Steve is a downplayed example. He's not outright evil, but doesn't seem to get the hint that Frank doesn't like him going forward in time just to spoil something that he wanted to be kept a surprise.
• Toilet Humor: The "Blueberries" segments, which star a woman who passes gas whenever she says the word "blueberries". One episode features her being visited by a relative who does the same thing, but in her case the gas is triggered by the word "loganberries".
• Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket: Parodied, a series of sketches has people have trouble performing mundane tasks, such as making a phone call, to which the narrator points out the issue stems from them using a random object, like a potato, and telling them to use the item that would normally be used for said task.

---