Boldly Going Nowhere is a Failed Pilot Episode for a proposed sci-fi Sitcom developed by Rob McElhenney, Charlie Day and Glenn Howerton of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, along with Adam Stein, for Fox's 2009-10 season. It has been shelved indefinitely since then, and only came out of obscurity in 2022 after McElhenney and Howerton mentioned it on the official Always Sunny podcast.
In the year 2189, Captain Ronald Teague (Benjamin Koldyke) of the Galactic Coalition longs to explore strange new worlds instead of the actual mission he's been saddled with: collecting moon rocks. Unfortunately, those dreams are stymied by the fact that Teague and his crew are incompetent, insane, or a combination of the two. Things only go From Bad to Worse when a representative of the Coalition (Howerton) arrives to inspect the ship, leading to inevitable disaster.
Boldly Going Nowhere includes the following tropes:
- Decoy Protagonist: It's natural to assume that Glenn Howerton's character is in the story for the long haul, since he is played by one of the show's creators as well as a principal Always Sunny cast member. He's dead by the end of the episode.
- Only Sane Man: Joyce is played up as this in her first scene and in her initial interaction with the inspector, but it's subverted when she blatantly tries to come on to him.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: The inspector summarizes his report to Teague and his crew:Teague: How did we do?Inspector: "How did you do?" I'll tell you how you did, Mr. Teague: not good! Not good! You, sir, are an incompetent moron! And your crew—wow. Lunatics! Maniacs! ... You, sir, are a complete disgrace.
- Scary Black Man: Cobalt's role as the security officer.Cobalt: BARRY! IF YOU DON'T GIVE US OUR MONEY BACK, I'M GONNA COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND RIP YOUR ASS OUT OF YOUR ASS AND JAM IT DOWN YOUR THROAT SO I CAN WATCH YOU CHOKE ON YOUR OWN ASS!
