MEET THE HEAVY
*ahem*
I am Heavy Weapons Guy, member of Team Fortress... And this... is my TVTropes page. I like to shoot Sasha, is all you need to know.
...Do you not understand? I like. To shoot. This Gun. Is all you need to know...
...Oh, fine. I hail from Russia, where I live in cabin with mother and my sisters Zhanna, Yana, and Bronislava. My father was counter-revolutionary, and when he was killed, me and rest of family were sent to gulag. I escape gulag with family, burn gulag to ground, then tortured gulag's guards to death. We spent time on run from government, where I took up work as mercenary. Soon found myself in Teufort where I met love of my life, Sasha. We kill many cowards together, all for good pay to protect family.
After Redmond and Blutarch were killed, I got new job fighting robots. When that wasn't working, their builder, Gray Mann, found other means to take over Mann Co.. He fired me and the others, after which I returned to Russia to care for my family. When Miss Pauling come with other team members to bring me back, I did not want to. I had obligation to be there for my family. But they showed me that they could care for themselves now, did not need me watching over their shoulders anymore. Money was good and many bad guys were to die, so... HEAVY WAS BACK, BABY!
Over the years, I have engaged in other endeavors beyond mercenary work. Was invited to poker tournament once, and teamed up with Pyro and Spy to form racing team. note
But now current job is to list tropes for you.
I am full of tropes, and I am coming for you!:
- Achilles' Heel: Sniper and Spy stupid classes that take advantage of my slow speed to take me out in one hit. Heavy won't last long in a fight if I'm not watching and listening carefully for baby enemies trying to pick me off.
- Berserk Button: Oh my god, who touched Sasha? Alright... WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!?
- Big Fancy House: Family cabin is quite nice place to live, Heavy must say. Though, I can understand why sisters take issue with its location.
- BFG: Dah, Sasha too big for itty bitty men to use!
- Dark and Troubled Past: Heavy does not like talking about past. Puny director poked nose in business that wasn't his and dug up my time in the gulag, and what I did to escape it anyway. I made it very clear to him that he should drop the subject.
- Difficult, but Awesome: Killing enemy team not easy job, but is why it pays so well. Heavy gives advice, awareness of your surroundings is key to playing well, otherwise cowardly Sniper or stupid Spy pick me off effortlessly. Keeping Sasha revved up all the time just makes me even slower and easier to focus down. Stay on move, and spin-up only when necessary. I retain running momentum when jumping, so leaping around corners while revving up minigun is good strategy to remain mobile while still being ready to attack.
- Dumb Muscle: Nyet! It does not show in battle, but comics, promos and that poker game demonstrate I am smarter than I look.
- Eloquent in My Native Tongue: Heavy not stupid, English just not his first language. Before the incident with the gulag, I earned PhD in Russian Literature. Is more useful in line of work than one would think.
- Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Heavy kills many men for the sake of lining pockets, but when me and my mother and sisters are on the run from the Russian government, honest work is not possible.
- Everything Trying to Kill You: Tiny baby men know I will turn them inside out if ignored. Most enemies will aim at me as soon as I'm out in the open.
- Extreme Omnivore: Robo Sandvich and Festive Sandvich are still sandviches.
- Finger Gun: Do not be fooled. Heavy's fingers are weapons deadly enough to end you in one shot.
- I Call It "Vera": Sasha will always be my baby, but I do keep Natascha, Svetlana, Oksana, and Sheila around in case I need to kill babies in other ways.
- "Instant Death" Radius: If you are touching the barrel of my gun, then you are a dead man.
- Invulnerable Knuckles: Heavy's fists are tougher than the brass knuckles I have. My fists will crush robots just as well as the flesh and blood men I usually fight.
- Mighty Glacier: Minigun kills things very quickly, but well... It will be long trip to objective if Engineer doesn't put teleport up.
- Is most especially true when Heavy is carrying Oksana. Her damage is unmatched, but she takes long time to spin up, and Heavy moves so slowly when firing.
- Not That Kind of Doctor: Doctorate in Russian literature, makes me a more official doctor than Medic.
- Shoot the Bullet: Giant robot Heavy will sometimes have gun that can shoot down rockets and bombs. Once I find old lady again, she will tell me why I did not get this gun.
- However, if Heavy spend hard-earned money at Upgrade Station, I can also crush rockets with any of my guns. note
- Simple, yet Awesome: Minigun not difficult to understand. Also not difficult to spill blood with.
- Skill Gate Characters: Heavy most powerful class in game on paper. Has the most health, the deadliest weapon, and is one of the best targets for doctor's Ubercharge. And against new players, is true more often that not! But... most other classes learn crazy new tricks as players get better with them. Heavy has no such tricks to learn, so more experienced players know what to do about me, even if doctor has my back. Stupid 6s format... Only using 4 classes in a game that has 9...
- Squick: At poker tournament, Tycho appall Heavy with fantasy about giraffes.
- Superior Successor: Classic Heavy needed power of immortality to fight me. While he said himself he wasn't getting younger, Heavy is advancing in age also.
- Third-Person Person: Depending on writer, sometimes Heavy doesn't use first person pronoun.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Saaaandvich! Sandvich... Is so delicious, it heals all of Heavy's wounds if eaten! Can also share with teammates too, but healing won't be as effective. They must not like sandviches the way I do.
- You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: Heavy knows he promised sisters he wouldn't keep sisters locked up in cabin to do nothing but eat bear anymore, but... Seriously Zhanna, Soldier!?
There. I have shown everything you need to know...hold on... WHERE IS SANDVICH? WHO TOOK SANDVICH?! Sorry. Need to get back sandvich now. Will catch up if can. WHOEVER TOOK SANDVICH, I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!
