From the diary of James Bartholomew Olsen:
"Dear Diary,
I became Turtle Boy today. I was better than last time; I only fell on my shell once and a nice man was there to flip me over. I don't know quite what set it off — the radioactive meteorite I was investigating or that mystical talisman my girlfriend gave me.
It was certainly better than yesterday: a combination of Omega Radiation and a kryptonite candle turned me into Melting Lad. I really don't understand how melting is a superpower, but I was a puddle for half the day. Superman had to use his super-sculpting skills to put my atomic structure back together. I have to remember to get him something good for his birthday. Maybe a tie?
Well, tomorrow is a new day. Let's hope I don't get any more weird or wacky powers — I don't know how much I can handle, to be honest. It's never just super-strength or flight, it's always something weird, like lycanthropy or becoming super-fat (again, how is that a superpower?).
Tomorrow looks to be better, though, diary. I only have one assignment with Ms. Lane: to photograph STAR Labs' new particle decelerator. Here's hoping there are no mishaps.
Until tomorrow,
Jimmy."
