(For the full effect, read this in the voice of Crispin Freeman.)
So, this is one a' those self-demonstrating things, is it? Well, I suppose I could oblige, seein' as ya went to all the trouble of doin' this.
You can call me Sundowner, leader of Desperado Enforcement LLC, PMC of the "Winds Of Destruction", a proud warmonger, and "The Californian Wildfire". Born in Alabama, I joined the army straight outta high school, where I went on to have a long and colourful military career. Least I did 'till an IED ended it prematurely. But one cyborg upgrade later, and I was back in business faster'n you can say "War is my life!".
'Course, y'all only know me from that one game starrin' Jack The Ripper, or as y'all know him "Raiden". In it, me'n Sam made our appearance in the first level, where we abducted African Prime Minister N'Mani, attacked his African city, an' killed him right in front'a Jack's eyes. What can I say, Africa was just gettin' a bit too peaceful for my likin'. How's an honest warmonger supposed to make a livin' when there's no war goin' on?
After that, I didn't see Jack the Ripper fer three weeks. I used that time to get back to my deal with Senator Armstrong in takin' a bunch a street urchins from third world countries, cuttin' out their brains, and trainin' them to become cyborg soldiers to sell once Operation Tecumseh was successful. Man, the money I coulda been makin'.
Regardless though, just when we were about to get things under way, who would show up in Denver, where I was at the time in World Marshal's headquarters, but Jacky boy himself. After he killed Monsoon, I decided to have a word with 'im. I waited for him in the top floor a' World Marshal, showed off all my brains, and brought him out onto the roof where he an' I could slug it out. Jack ended up winnin' that fight, though. An' deep down, I think Sammy knew that that would happen.
Now I believe this is where I should list all them tropes that apply to me:
- American Accents: And it don't get much more American than a Texas accent. Yeah, I know it's confusin' fer ya, since I'm from Alabama, but just go with it.
- Appeal to Inherent Nature: War's just part'a who we are. Why fight it?
- Barrier Warrior: In battle, I like to use shields that explode right in my opponent's face.
- Bald of Evil: Now I may not have a hair on my head, but evil? Why? Just because I killed an African Prime Minister and helped to destabilize Africa?
- Blood Knight: All I'm sayin' is: Give war a chance.
- Card-Carrying Villain: I'm just an honest warmonger tryna make a living. If anybody has a problem with that, too bad!
- Complete Monster: Aw, now that's just mean of ya. Sure I like the occasional atrocity here and there, but I'm just an honest warmonger tryna make a living!
- Cyborg: Yep, that I am. Was turned into one once the tech became available. I can slice up your average PMC like a tasty fish.
- Doublethink: Oh, come now! Just 'cuz I gotta give those kids a li'l push towards war don't mean they're not naturally killers! Hell, if they were just a few years older you'd consider VR Training and cybernetic enhancements as just a normal part'a the business!
- Famed In-Story: As Kev told Jack, I had quite the illustrious military career even before the IEF thing.
- Image Song: "Red Sun."
Now that's what I call music! - Kids Are Cruel: That they are. It's those who look down on war that nurture later generations to be kindly and peaceful and all ah that shit, but the nature of humanity is bloody murder.
- Large and in Charge: You better believe it. Monsoon might be taller than me, but with a physique like mine, in addition to bein' the leader a' Desperado LLC, I would definitely say I'm this.
- Perpetual Smiler: Yeah, you can always count on me havin' a big ol' smile right on my face.
- Psychopathic Manchild: I believe Kids Are Cruel, and I am very much in touch with my inner child.
- Red Baron: Among the Winds Of Destruction, I'm known as "The Californian Wildfire".
- Shear Menace: It don't get much sharper than a pair a' machetes ready to interlock right around your pretty little neck.
- Scannable Man: Well, if'n ya look at mah forehead, ya might see I got a barcode right there.
- Sweet Home Alabama: Yep, born and raised in the ole' sweet home.
- War for Fun and Profit: Yeah, war's what ah'm all about. Sure, what Armstrong really wanted was to tear down the business part of it, but then everyone would get to fight their own wars. Maybe I could have lived with that.
