(Best read in the voice of Harry Shearer)
Howdily-doodily! My name is Ned Flanders, and I'm the daddily-doodlily of Rod and Todd Flanders, and the neighbourino of The Simpsons! I also used to be the hubby of Maudie, but she kicked the bucket.
I'm a born-again Christian — some might say a bit too religious — and I do everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! I enjoy helping people, including my neighbourino Homer, but he often says he doesn't want my help.
Tropey-dopeys about me
- Beware the Nice Ones: I'm usually a very happy chappy and always willing to diddily-ding-dong-do things for other people, but sometimes I get angry:
- During that time with the hurricane, I gave everyone a real tongue-lashing for doing a bad job repair-diddly-airing my house. As it turns out, part of the reason I got so tetchy was because I resented my folky-dolkies for spankin' me.
- One time I popped Homer's peeper twice because he was annoying me with his irritating rhymes!
- Can't Hold His Liquor: Whenever I drink, even if it's just a blackberry schnapps or a white wine spritzer, I turn into a gosh-darn-diddly lunatic!
- Censorship by Spelling: I have a habit of spelling out words I'm too shy to say, like "S-E-X".
- Depending on the Writer:
- During that whole hurricane hullabaloo, I said I didn't dance, but another time, I stated that the only dancing I could doodly-do was square dancing. Another time, I slow-danced with Edna.
- That Dr. Foster chaps said that my unorthodox wor-diddly-ords were because of repressed anger, but another time, my relationships, even from oversea-diddly-eas, talked like me as well.
- Sometimes, I'm too shy to be naked, even in the bath, but another time, I was mighty pleased that my ski suit made me feel like I was au natural.
- Flanderization: The trope namerino himself, I'm said to have devolved from an understanding man to a very preachy man starting with season 7. Lucky for me, I'm part of another trope below.
- Forgot Flanders Could Do That: Now this one sure comes in handy-dandy when I want to remind people what I'm also like, and why I'm considered such an upstanding guy.
- In-Series Nickname: I get called "Neddy" from time to time-diddly-ime.
- Limited Wardrobe: I'm pretty much always wearing the same green sweater and grey trouseroos.
- Non-Nude Bathing: One time, I got too shy to see anyone's, uh, doodle even my own, so I bathed in shorts.
- Plain Palate: If "plain" is a flavour option for any food, expect it to be my favourite.
- Rhymes on a Dime: I don't speak in rhyme all the time, but sometimes I'll start rhymin'. One of my catchphrases is "okily-dokily", for instance.
- Shared Family Quirks:
- My little boys are just as religious and polite as I am!
- I have several relatives abroad who talk like I doodly-do.
- The Teetotaler: There have been exceptions, but u-diddly-usually, I don't drink.
- Unusual Euphemism:
- I once used the term "Flander-doodles" as a euphemism for my, um... lower area. I also once called my you-know-what my "shrinky-dink".
- I swear by saying, "kididdlehopper".
- Vague Age: Sometimes I'm actually sixty but look younger due to being squeaky-clean and attending church so often. Other times, I'm in my thirties or forties.
- Verbal Tic: I tend to say nonsense words, like "diddly", "doodly", and "iddly" in the middle of my sentences, sometimes even in the middle of a wor-diddly-ord.
- Vomit Discretion Shot: Once I was so hungover, I tossed my cookies. I'm glad you didn't have to see it.