(for full effect, read it in the voice of David Spade, J. P. Manoux or James Arnold Taylor, or Jesús Barrero if you're in Latin America)
Now you might be thinking "shouldn't you be busy ruling a country instead of wasting your time writing a Self Demonstrating article on a lame wiki for peasants and nerds?" Well it might seem confusing now, but trust me if you go back a ways everything will start to make sense...
The name's Kuzco. Emperor Kuzco. You've probably heard of me. But if for some strange reason you haven't, here's the rundown.
It all started with the birth of the world's cutest baby (I am of course referring to ME). I was born into royalty, and from an early age I was taught the family business, after years of perfecting my craft I became the emperor you all know and love today. I was on top of the world, and everything was going my way... or so I thought. I had just drawn up plans for the perfect summer home when I found my advisor Yzma trying to run the country behind my back.
Naturally I fired her. I mean what else was I supposed to do? Lady was trying to do my job for me. But I digress. To make matters worse, turns out the perfect spot for my summer home also happened to be on the site of a little peasant village. No problem, surely when they hear the Emperor needs a new summer getaway, they'll gladly give up their homes, right? Wrong. The village leader, Pacha was furious, apparently he likes living on that stupid little hilltop. Talk about selfish, am I right?
But there were even bigger problems in store. That night Yzma invited me to have dinner in the palace, courtesy of her dimwitted lackey Kronk. Unbeknownst to me, she had plotted to KILL ME. Can you believe it? I gave her everything and she stabs me in the back. If it wasn't for Kronk mixing up the potions, I would have been a goner. Fortunately, instead of dying I was merely turned into a llama. Not that that's much better.
One thing lead to another, and wouldn't you know it, I'm stuck with Pacha. Now he's my only hope on getting back to the palace, and instead of performing his duty as a subject, he says he won't help unless I build my summer home somewhere else. Can you believe the nerve of that guy? Eventually he came around and together we put a stop to Yzma's plan and I became human again. And of course I had my own Heel Realization and spared Pacha's village, instead building a quaint little shack on the next hill over.
But the story doesn't end there my friends. Not even close. Well next there was some stuff about Kronk, but that's not important...
Next thing I know I'm being forced to Kuzco Academy. Don't be fooled by the awesome name though, that place was a nightmare. Not only did I have to "learn" but Yzma was still out to get me, under the guise of Principal Amzy. (Nice alias, she should get a prize.) of course Kronk's at her side as well trying to stop me at every turn so that I fail and Yzma becomes empress. But there's no reason to worry, I've still got Pacha by my side, not to mention my new friend, hottie-hot-hottie and future empress Malina! (She's madly in love with me.) and even Kronk switched sides to help me out from time to time. In the end I graduated (I mean, was there really any doubt?) and resumed my position as emperor.
You can see my adventures in:
- The Emperor's New Groove
- Kronk's New Groove (Don't worry, I'm still in it.)
- The Emperor's New School
You can also find me in "Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom" at Walt Disney World, where you can fight Kronk and (if you're brave enough) Yzma to stop them from taking over Adventureland for that not-so-nice blue guy. I also was at Disneyland Paris' FanDaze back in 2018, groovin' with Yzma and others!
I also of course have my own video game, and even my own pop vinyl figure, and I'm just adorable. And I also was there in Once Upon a Studio, where I got back to being llama, I even told Oswald to not touch!
Anyways, still wondering about this page? Well, while searching on TV Tropes (I'm not a nerd, I just wanted to see how well represented I am on here) I discovered while there's plenty of info about me in regards to the media I've appeared in, I really deserve my own page that's ALL ABOUT ME. So here we are.
Oh, and just a word of advice? Ms. Scary Beyond All Reason has her own page on here with Kronk, so don't bother going there — mainly because they're not me, and they're not important. If you do, fine, but don't be surprised if you end up turned into a llama.
Now, on to the tropey things.
- 0% Approval Rating: What?! Everybody loves me! Even before the whole llama fiasco!
- Adaptational Name Change: In the original script, my name happens to be Manco. Manco is the name of my uncle, not me.
- Aesop Amnesia: Okay so I admit, when I got sent to Kuzco Academy I suffered a bit of a relapse, but if you were in the same situation, so would you. Besides, I'm still getting used to remembering what I went through in the movie after being treated like the royalty I am for most of my life.
- Animal Motifs: A llama obviously. I'll admit it, they kinda started to grow on me.
- Anti-Hero: Not sure how this applies. I'm pretty heroic, if I do say so myself.
- Berserk Button: Seriously, don't throw off my groove.
- Buffy Speak: Who is this Buffy person anyway? And why is she stealing my shctick? Me no likey.
- The Caligula: OK, I don't know who that guy is, but he sounds like major bad news. Me no likey. I'm a great emperor, if I must say so, which I have to.
- Camp Straight: Yeah I happen to have a great sense of style, but Malina's the only other person for me. (I can't date myself you know... or can I?)
- Catchphrase: I have a lot. "No Touchy" and "Boom Baby" are probably my most famous ones though.
- Character Development: Not that I needed it all that much, but you know, I've learned some things along the way.
- Conveniently an Orphan: It's Disney, what do you expect?
- Deadpan Snarker: Really, what gave it away?
- Demoted to Extra: In Kronk's New Groove unfortunately, not that I cared that much. Don't worry though, I came back full force as the star of "The Emperor's New School".
- The Emperor: Obviously. Although technically I should be addressed as Sapa Inca (translated as “the only Inca” in Quechua), I’m good with being called Emperor, which is pretty much the same thing.
- Everyone Has Standards: I had to save Pacha from falling to his death on the bridge because nobody's THAT heartless.
- Entitled Bastard: Whoa there. This is a kids movie.
- Forced Transformation: This is how I managed to escape death, although at first I think I would’ve preferred that.
- Hates Being Touched: See the Catch-Phrase above.
- Heel Realization: Yeah, so maybe I wasn't as nice to Pacha as I should've been, but I made sure to make up for it.
- How We Got Here: One of my favorite methods of introducing a story, as demonstrated above.
- Hypocrite: Hey! I don't call you names just cause you're a stupid peasant.
- It's All About Me: Well duh. My movie poster is even the trope image.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Heart of gold, yes. Jerk, no. Well, okay, not anymore.
- Mayincatec: Setting wise from the Andes Mountains to the Amazon rainforest I’m very much the ruler of the Inca Empire, especially that my name is very much the capital of said empire. I did mention llamas right?
- Medium Awareness: You could say I'm the Deadpool of Disney movies. At least until that Fox deal is complete.
- Narcissist: Not sure what that one means, but I assume it means I'm handsome.
- Never My Fault: Hey, I can't help it if not everyone gets with the program. Besides, even I can get sick of it when there's something like the narrator me trying to keep saying how I'm the victim, even though the audience saw the whole thing and knows what happened.
- Official Couple: Malina was reluctant at first, but of course my charms won her over.
- Reformed, but Not Tamed: Hey, I am what I am, and what I am is pretty great.
- Royal Brat: Some have called me this. Not really sure why.
- Single-Target Sexuality: Like I said before, Malina's pretty much the only person I've ever been attracted to... Other than maybe myself.
What are you still doing here? the article's over. Go home...
