(This page is best read in the voice of Tsuyoshi Koyama or Steve Kramer. Or especially Tony Oliver)
(Just as you entered the page, you hear this song blaring...)
BANG BANG BANG BAAAAANG!!! BAANING-UU TAMASHII!!! TATAKAU KOKORO KOUGETSUKU HODO NIIIII!!!
Hailed in heavens and earth, the one and only, Bang Shishigami, has arrived!!
Greetings, Tropers! I see that there is this trend of characters from BlazBlue getting their own Self-Demonstrating page! But what is this!? That evil monster Yuki Terumi got his own self-demonstrating page first!? Very well then, naughty tropers! It looks like it's time for a little Shishi-spanking and an effort to fix the balance between good and evil. Sit back and allow this good ol' ninja to describe himself! 'Tis a tale of hotblood, justice, and... um... tragedy. A man's romance!
Well, as I have stated, my name is Bang Shishigami, the hammer of justice. I am but a humble ninja hailing from Ikaruga, being taught to grow and act like a good man by my master Tenjou Amanohokosaka. Alongside me, my master also has that Kagura Mutsuki as his student, but pay no attention to him! He is a bad example for you kids out there, always openly flirting with women instead of treating them with respect! And he is amongst the ranks of Novus Orbis Librarium, otherwise known as NOL, that organization full of oppressors of the needy, everything that Ikaruga does not represent!
One day my master entrusted me with a mission and along with it, a giant nail that I have absolutely no idea what it is or what it does. But then, the NOL struck against us in a bloody war! It was a harsh battle, but I managed to evacuate many citizens into safety! But unfortunately, I let my guard down and left my master open, leaving him open from being struck against this Major of NOL... *clenches fist upwards* JIN KISARAGI!!
At that moment, that boy froze me solid and then killed my master right in front of me. NOOOO!!! That would be My Greatest Failure, I could not protect my master. I had to get over that, and relocate in the Hierarchical City of Kagutsuchi at the town of Ronin-Gai. We will rebuild the culture of Ikaruga and one day strike back against NOL! Of course, I had to do many odd-ball jobs but I settled on being a vigilante of justice, bringing criminals down! Yes, indeed, I certainly act like your Saturday morning superhero cartoon hero, and it was epic! Though it was odd that I had to report to NOL for that, but I had to shove my pride. But one day, I, Bang Shishigami, shall exact righteous justice to the NOL and that Jin Kisaragi!!
Well, eventually there's this criminal known as 'The Grim Reaper', otherwise known as 'Ragna the Bloodedge', so I spent my time in Calamity Trigger trying to hunt him down. But... but perhaps I could say my existence here in Kagutsuchi is a blessing to me because in there, I met a lot of wonderful people, and good kids that can be shaped up to be a better generation. Such as that Taokaka and Master Carl Clover, or even that Miss Platinum the Trinity. Life is not easy for this ninja because everyone seems like treating me with nothing but ridicule. But thankfully, there's also my.... my sweet angel... aah...
MISS LITCHI FAYE-LING!!
She's a kind and beautiful person beyond belief, even if there were some strifes between us, we are great friends and she's just about the only one who fully treats me with respect. She seems to have her mind focused to this monster Arakune, who also has a bounty in its head. Well, I suppose I could help... but that dangerous criminal Ragna comes first! Maybe if I do something awesome, I can impress Miss Litchi and then... and then...
(One Imagine Spot later)
... Smooch... Whoa! I mustn't get carried away like this! My story isn't finished!
Things seems to get a lot more chaotic in Continuum Shift, there's that green-haired evil man named Hazama seemingly working behind the scenes and I came face to face with Carl's monstrous father, Relius. However, there was one important thing to do that I have found out there, Lord Tenjou's son lived and I needs to fulfill my mission in regards of my nail! Love can wait, I must return to Ikaruga! It seems that Miss Platinum is also tagging along with me, so the more the merrier!
We ended up meeting with Carl when we arrived in Ikaruga, during the time of Chronophantasma, though we parted ways. During around that time, I learned that the NOL system is the enemy, not Jin Kisaragi. But why is he still an ass-wipe even if he's now trying to mend his ways!? But I remembered what Lord Tenjou taught me: Absolve the offender, dislike the offense, so he still has his time for repent! Anyway, I also got into a small hijinx with Miss Bullet but eventually, I do not know why, but I eventually reunited with Kagura. It turns out he's been staging a righteous coup from within and trying to install the new Imperator of NOL... Lord Tenjou's son Homura! I can finally fulfill my mission!
Oh and it turns out that this Ragna the Bloodedge is actually Good All Along! What a relief! But old grudges cannot be settled normally, so we settled it by beating the crap out of each other and gaining each other's respect! Men really talks with their fists!
But troper... at this point, this is where everything went to hell. Relius came along trying to nab my nail for his genocidal plans... and on his side was... Miss Litchi!? And she's helping him by beating me up so she could create a new world where a certain 'Roy' can live!? B-but, Miss Litchi, what about MY feelings, did you just trample it like that!? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
... What's that!? Master Carl, already known for his hatred to his father, now sided with him to have his sister restored!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
But it ain't a hero's story if you don't have the willpower to stand for what is right, and the heroic spirit is never extinguished that easily! Good thing there's both Miss Tsubaki Yayoi and Miss Makoto Nanaya backing me up to delay those two, I'd hate hitting them, so I concentrated all my firepowers to that evil marionette manipulator, until Lord Valkenhayn took over and I can finally activate my nail and fulfill my mission!
Do you know what it is? The Nox Nyctores Phoenix Rettenjou! An anti-seithr device designed to get rid of seithr from the world! With that mission fulfilled, Ragna managed to defeat the monstrous Gigant: Take-Mikazuchi. Mission complete!
Still, what a costly battle that was. I do not know where I am right now, maybe that is why I am here, describing my life to you tropers. Even if I heard Relius has suffered extreme Villainous Breakdown... the damage was done. I judged Miss Litchi and Master Carl wrongly, they were not the idealized good person I thought they were, the type of flawless people. How could I be this blind that they are also humans with flaws, just like me? Is it because I had the need to keep up the hero of justice mantle for the kids? Or is it something else? People will probably demand me to exact justice on those two, but can I really do it and call it justice? Worse, I heard things did not go well for Ragna over there and the passing of Miss Platinum...
(Back to your awesome dose of Bang music!)
But mark these words of Bang Shishigami! As long as breath escapes my throat, I will not just give up on the spirit of goodness! I will not condemn Miss Litchi and Master Carl for their actions, if I could do that to Jin Kisaragi, I'm sure I can do it again to them! And I will stand against the looming evil that comes next! I heard it was the very Goddess of Death herself, Izanami. Well! Bring It! For the sake of goodness, and even if Gods needs to be smacked down, I, Bang Shishigami, shall become The Hammer. Of... JUSTIIIIICCEEE!!!! Be sure to tune in to Central Fiction for the latest Bang Shishigami action and tales of justice!
—BZZT— (We apologize, there has been another reset phenomenon by Master Unit Amaterasu.)
Huh? What is this? I am... back in Kagutsuchi? Back with the good old days where it's all dandy with me and Tao, while I am still friends with Miss Litchi...? And I'm still hunting this... Grim Reaper? OOH! WHAT BLISS!! But wait, something is amiss... why is it that Kagura is the Hero of Ikaruga? Something seems not right... but why can't I remember in details? I know, I am an idiot at times, but this should have been something that not even Bang Shishigami can forget! Hmmm... errrmmm... Well there's this white haired man with red jacket. Seems unassuming, but that can't be the Grim Reaper... Huh...? Wha...!?
Oh, NOW I remember! I remember everything! So right now after that, we're within the Embryo created by... Nine, one of the Six Heroes!? Why would another hero fall to evil!? How can this beee!? And she said to fulfill my wish, I must defeat either Izanami... or the Master Unit... which happens to be the innocent Miss Noel Vermillion!? True, I know I have my dreams of rebuilding Ikaruga in the most proper way possible... but no! I definitely won't go through it, that goes against my justice to strike against an innocent for selfish desires! But then comes Ragna and he tried to devour my dreams just because I possessed it in the first place!? It was a harsh battle, while I managed to survive, he succeeded his mission. What was that about...?
Just right after that, the Red Devil Iron Tager approached me and asked me to help Miss Litchi. And now I finally see the big picture... Roy was her lover, and she felt guilty of being 'responsible' of how he turned into the creature known as Arakune and has been trying to make amends... That was why she ended up being manipulated by Relius Clover back then... That fiend, trying to prey an innocent at their weakest! People may say that she betrayed justice, but to strike her with vengeance after learning all that would mean the greatest injustice of all! Therefore I offer myself to help Miss Litchi confront her problem and Tao also tagged along! It eventually came to a conclusion that Miss Litchi was set to finally defeat Arakune once and for all instead of sparing him like before, coming to terms about how her lover won't come back in spirit. However, this will not do! The burden of killing a loved one is harsh, so I will carry it for her! I won't let Miss Litchi cry again, which she has been doing during all this battle! So there I fought with all my might against Arakune... but it was at that time that everything, including me... all returning to seithr... How anticlimatic!!
Regardless, it seemed that it was up to Ragna to save the day, and it seemed that he and Noel vanquished Izanami! Wait a moment, something's wrong with Hakumen! His body has turned black and green! No, it can't be. You're saying that's Terumi's true form and only Ragna can stop him?! Though I am unable to assist the Bloodedge in his final confrontation with that damnable ghoul, I will be with him in spirit. And by all that is good, Ragna finally delivers justice to that ghoul, killing him for good! Sob... You've made this ninja proud, damn it!
And so the tale of the Azure ends with Ragna erasing his memories to everyone. I may not be the main hero of this whole thing... this is not my show after all, but I, Bang Shishigami, swore that I am proud to have taken part of this whole epic! As of what I'm doing afterwards? Rebuilding Ikaruga, like usual. It was what Lord Tenjo wanted of me, and I chose to respect Miss Litchi and her memories with Roy by no longer being a stalker to her, she seemed to have taken his advice well enough to move on with her life. I want her to be happy after all.
But wait... what about Master Carl? ... WHAT!? Are you saying that Relius managed to get through him and he has taken more drastic measures and colder, sourer view in trying to save his sister!? And my teachings... forgotten!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Ragna's tale may be over, but the tales of this world is not yet over!! And so is Bang Shishigami's tales of heroism! Tune in next time, where hopefully my tales of justice will help people further, including Master Carl's! Until then, stay tuned and I'll see you next... next... hm... it's too long to call it a week... ehm... NEXT TIME! note
Tropes of justice that befits Bang Shishigami!
- Anime Hair: Gawk into the wondrous spiky hair of Bang Shishigami! One of the craziest of the trope examples!
- Arch-Enemy: *clenches fist upwards* JIN KISARAGIIIII!!!! Even if you are technically on our side in Chronophantasma, you had better fix that rotten attitude of yours, or else!
- Badass Normal: All these feats I do? Solely based on training alone! None of those Armagus thingies, I didn't even know how to use the Rettenjou all the time I fought!
- BGM Override: Whenever I activated my Super Mode, my awesomeness imploded so greatly there are great chorus overriding the musics everywhere.
- Butt-Monkey: It was well recorded in the ancient times that I, Bang Shishigami, used to be the butt end of the joke of everyone else. But fret not, loyal followers! I have shed that image and now a force of justice to be taken seriously!
- Calling Your Attacks: CRITICAL SUPER CRASH! PULVERIZING FIST! SHURIKEN SPECIAL! This is an Ukemi!
- Dogged Nice Guy: I always cared for Miss Litchi's well-being, and the best she does to me is to consider me a friend, not a lover. I do not fret at all. Perhaps it's better this way.
- Ensemble Dark Horse: Since the series started I've been a fan favorite despite being a minor character.
- Friend to All Children: Ehem, why else did I have to put up the superhero acts and keeps taking children for my students? Because I love'em. Honest.
- Hot-Blooded: I AM ALWAYS BURNING WITH PASSION IN EVERYTHING I DO!!!
- Idiot Hero: I am not very bright on the head, I don't think a lot. But my heart's always in the right place! ... I hope.
- Improbable Weapon User: You may mock me for using nails as a weapon, but I'll show you how powerful they can be!
- Jade-Colored Glasses: Admittedly, it might go another way, but I like to think that Chronophantasma was a wake-up call for me, if only I didn't held onto my fantasies on Miss Litchi and Master Carl, I could have saved them...
- Justice Will Prevail: It certainly will, as long as I draw breath!
- Large Ham: Who says you need to be evil to be hammy!? Come forth and get ready for a Shishi-spanking!
- Love Freak: THE HERO OF LOVE AND JUSTICE!
- Ninja: They are mostly Fragile Speedsters when it comes to games like this. But not Bang Shishigami! I am instead an all-rounder! This is most intriguing, because they say my predecessor, Chipp Zanuff, is Fragile Speedster extraordinary!
- Highly-Visible Ninja: Uh... stealth? Wait, what was that again? Hm? I was deified because of it!? How did this information escape me!?
- Memetic Badass: In the eyes of many, I may be a complete joke, but even then, people of the internet, my fans over there, has revered me as an utter badass!
- No Indoor Voice: INDEED! I OFTEN SHOUT A LOT!!
- Playing with Fire: My soul burn with fire so hot, I can manifest it with fire-style jutsus.
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: A bad habit of mine. Saying THUD as I collapsed, or saying GLARE as I looked at someone.
- Shout-Out: All these looks of mine are based on a great hero I respected. Mister Takeshi Hongo! *sheds Manly Tears* I thank you for your great inspiration.
- Super Mode: FU-RIN-KAZAAAAANNNN!!!
- Took a Level in Badass: In Calamity Trigger, I was naught but a Joke Character. As it stands now, I am a certified Badass, being even able to go toe-to-toe with a giant overpowered bastard like Relius Clover!
- Wrong Genre Savvy: I've been told that while I'm correct in my assumptions of being a fictional character, I'm a character in a video game with a Darker and Edgier Grey-and-Gray Morality story, not a shounen anime series. Worse... I get this feeling that some of my 'fans' are trying to treat things here in a Wrong Genre Savvy manner just like me. Stop, I tell you! This is one mistake that only Bang Shishigami shall carry, not you good kids!
