The Hamster Huey gag, whereupon Calvin will ask to be read a story titled Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie, which his father hates. The gag is played on when his dad snaps from being forced to read it every single night and instead gives them a new take on the story.
(Calvin and Hobbes are lying in bed, eyes wide open) Calvin: Wow, the story was different that time! Hobbes: Do you think the townsfolk will ever find Hamster Huey's head?
Calvin's Dad: Once upon a time, there was a... Calvin: Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the Three Bears eat the Three Little Pigs, and then the bears join up with the Big Bad Wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, Ok? Calvin's Dad:And how should Hansel and Gretel meet ''their'' untimely demise? Calvin: The witch eats them and then the wolf eats the witch.
Calvin's annual struggle to be "good" enough in December to avoid the wrath of Santa.
Calvin being ambushed by Hobbes at moments when he least expects it.
One common occurrence for such ambushes is Hobbes' Attack Hello when Calvin comes home from school and Calvin's (usually unsuccessful) attempts to avoid it.
A sub-Running Gag is occasionally Hobbes won't ambush Calvin and Calvin, rather than being relieved, is outraged that he wasn't viciously assaulted for once.
Calvin: Thanks for the big welcome! Hobbes:(hiding under the blanket) You're letting in cold air.
Calvin's alter egos:
One of them, Spaceman Spiff, has a few running gags of his own:
Spaceman Spiff's adventures often take him to the dangerous Planet Zog.
Spiff's little red spaceship hurtling out-of-control at breakneck speeds towards some desert planet's surface.
Spiff: His stabilizers useless, his fuel about to explode, our hero careens out of control over a strange, unexplored planet! Yes, it's just another typical day for the incredible Spaceman Spiff!
Spiff commenting on his insurance policy or how he just waxed his ship as he's crashing.
The complete uselessness of Spiff's "death ray blaster".
One of them, Stupendous Man, has a gag of him never actually doing anything heroic or winning any of his battles.
Hobbes: ...um... Has Stupendous Man ever won a battle? Calvin: Well, they're all moral victories.
Calvin also trying to reason (particularly close to Christmas) that every time he's been bad was never actually his fault, it was extenuating circumstances that pushed him to do it, or it's society's fault for considering what he does "bad".
Calvin: The strangest thing happened to me a few minutes ago. Calvin's Mom: Oh? What? Calvin: I was minding my own business, when suddenly I was zapped into some sort of space void vortex! There I watched helplessly as an evil duplicate of myself from a parallel universe took my place on Earth, and... Calvin's Mom: What have you done now? Calvin: No, no, see, it wasn't me...
Calvin's hatred of baths and his tendency to hide or throw tantrums at bath time.
And on the occasions when he does bathe, his tendency to flood the bathroom or otherwise cause trouble.
Calvin: The oil tanker crashed, Mom. Mom: You poured ink in the bath water??
Another minor one is Calvin attempting to fly, such as with construction paper feathers, a blanket parachute, or as a human kite.
There was a whole arc where Calvin ordered a propeller beanie, where he ate enough cereal, had to wait for packaging, and accidentally broke the propeller while building it, only for it not to fly. He took it as well as you might think.
Calvin performing various incantations and rituals that he hopes will bring snow.
Calvin and Hobbes riding a wagon or toboggan and driving over a cliff or into a tree, as well as the wagon/sled rides being a vehicle for casual philosophical discussions while hurtling down the hill at dangerously unsafe speeds.
A minor related running gag is Hobbes jumping off or going back home right before the sled ride starts.
Another minor related gag is Calvin giving really scary names to the hills like "Suicide Slope", "Mount Maim", or "Dismemberment Gorge".
Calvin: I call this "Lookout" Hill. Hobbes: Yes, you can certainly see far from up here. Calvin: I call it "Lookout" Hill because that's what you yell whenever we go down it.
Additionally, a good number of running gags revolve around Calvin's dad:
Calvin's political polls on his dad and the fact his dad is always unmoved no matter what the "polls" say.
Calvin asking his dad a question, and Dad responding with an elaborate answer that is complete nonsense. For example, why do you close your eyes when you sneeze? Because otherwise the force of the explosion would blow your eyeballs out of their sockets, they'd dangle on your face by the optic nerve, and you'd have to aim them with your hands when you want to look at something. note The actual answer: it's an involuntary reflex. As you're expelling irritants that have entered your nose, your eyes close to stop those same irritants (or others) from entering your eyes, which are very sensitive places.
His tirades against technology, consumerism, and modern society in general.
Trying and failing to take a normal photograph of Calvin, who continuously makes goofy faces.
Calvin's dad finding his Soul-Crushing Desk Job more relaxing than being at home with Calvin.
Calvin grossing Susie out at the school lunch table:
Calvin: Processed lunch meat is pretty scary. What are those little specks anyway? Lizard parts? Who knows? And this "skin." I heard it used to be made of intestine, but I think nowadays it's plastic. Of course, they dye and wax fruit so it looks better. It's like eating a candle. Yep, we'd probably be dead now if it wasn't for Twinkies. Susie: And Mom wonders why I'm so hungry after school.
Calvin annoying his parents to the point where they kick him out of the house (literally.)
Dad:(squinting at the alarm clock) Quarter to 6. He let us sleep in this year.
Calvin also always waking up at a ridiculously early hour on Saturdays to watch cartoons. In one story arc, Calvin not getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday or being upset he's sick on a weekend is a sign to his mother that he's really sick (and not Playing Sick like she originally thought).
Calvin reaffirming each New Year's Day that he's not changing anything about himself because he's already perfect, as well as being disappointed with the new year being exactly like the old year.
Calvin's obscenely long wish-lists and letters to Santa Claus, usually asking for ridiculously unsafe items like grenade launchers or atomic bombs.
Hobbes not getting anything on Christmas, as well as his tendency to not want for anything, to Calvin's confusion.
The G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid of Slimy GirlS) club meetings, which almost always devolve into arguments, and their, usually ill-fated, attempts to annoy Susie.
Calvin and Hobbes playing some sport (usually baseball or football) or a board game, but with house rules that make the game ridiculously one-sided and almost always result in argumentative fighting over the rules.
Calvin: Baseball is an intelligent sport. There's more to it than brute force. It may seem slow, but that's because it's a thinking man's game. There's a lot of strategy to consider. Hobbes: Especially the way we play! Calvin: Right! Now, the first person to discover twelfth base gets a ghost point and one free "Get out of jail"...
Hobbes completely dominating Calvin in football.
Or they play a game that they made up completely, usually involving random rule changes, flags, sports equipment, different "zones", and occasionally songs. One of these games, "Calvinball", is a recurring one, and its only rules are that it can never be played the same way twice and everyone must wear bandit masks.
Calvin's attempts to watch some ultra-violent b-movie with titles like "Cannibal Stewardess Vixens Unchained" or "Attack of the Coed Cannibals".
Hobbes' attempts to get a tuna fish sandwich (starting with the very first strip).
Calvin getting chased and/or stung by bees and other stinging insects (usually because he threw rocks at their nest).
Calvin ultra-violent comic books and Hobbes' attempts to read them (and often scribble on them as well).
Calvin getting called on by the teacher for a question and not knowing the answer.
Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin.
Calvin getting called on by the teacher while having a daydream in class, only to answer her question correctly by pure coincidence.
Spiff: The situation is grim! Ten seconds to impact! Nine... Eight... Ms. Wormwood: Well, Calvin?? Calvin: -SEVEN! Ms. Wormwood: Very good, Calvin. Ten minus three equals seven. I didn't think you were paying attention. That question was worth three points.
A minor one is Calvin waking his mom up in the middle of the night to ask her something ridiculous (such as if people grow from spores).
Calvin: Well, Hobbes, I guess we learned a valuable lesson from this duplicating mess. Hobbes: And that is? Calvin: And that is, um... it's that, well... OK, so we didn't learn any big lesson. Sue me. Hobbes: Live and don't learn, that's us.
Hobbes teasing Calvin about him having hidden affection towards Susie, usually around Valentine's Day.
Calvin telling his mom he's not going to dinner, or going to school today, or taking a bath, only for Calvin to be immediately rebuked by the last panel (often with a Gilligan Cut).
Calvin: She sure can make someone want to do something.
Calvin taunting his dad over the fact he has to go to work during summer break.
Calvin's fanatical devotion in following the specialist magazine Chewing, and Hobbes inversely thinking how silly it is that chewing gum is considered Serious Business.
Calvin attempting to cheat on a test by asking Susie for the answers, and Susie usually giving him some ridiculous reply that Calvin nonetheless believes wholesale.
Calvin: Psst, Susie! What's the answer to question two? Susie: "Eli Whitney and the cotton gin." Calvin: But this is a math problem. Susie: It's a trick question.
Calvin setting up a stand to sell something silly and usually useless along the sidewalk, such as "a swift kick in the butt", a "frank appraisal of your looks", or disgustingly made lemonade at a disgustingly high price.
Calvin interrupting the class by asking the teacher some question or statement completely unrelated to the lesson, usually getting sent to the principal's office for it.
The use of cardboard boxes as Applied Phlebotinum for transmogrifiers, time machines, duplicators, and the Cerebral Enhance-O-Tron.
Hobbes: It's amazing what they do with corrugated cardboard these days.
Calvin's sandcastle towns and the unfortunate fates that always befall them (meteor storm, Godzilla attack, dam break, tidal wave etc.).
Calvin marvelling at the vastness of outer space and the universe and concluding he should go inside and watch television.
Calvin and Susie's playdates which are rendered in a much more realistic art-style, with them as adults, and always end with Calvin storming out.
Hobbes reacting with indignation or disdain toward's Calvin's awful jokes.
Calvin: You're not laughing. Hobbes: It's not funny.
Calvin's attempts to find and name a dinosaur to call it the "Calvinosaurus".
Calvin flooding the house (usually a one-off gag, but it was the plot of one story arc).
Calvin's parents telling Calvin not to touch the thermostat and put on a sweater instead.
Calvin writing or trying to write messages on his roof or on the lawn for airplanes or alien spaceships to read.
The extremely long and verbose password (at least eight verses long) that Hobbes came up with for Calvin to signal him to lower the ladder to the treehouse, which consists entirely of gushing compliments about tigers and has an associated dance.
Calvin wishing life was more like a television show.
Hobbes tripping Calvin into a mud puddle.
Calvin hiding some disgusting (and unseen) creepy-crawly, only to have it go missing.
Calvin: For "show and tell" today, I have something that will astound and amaze you! This little guy can... (Calvin looks into his paper bag, which is evidently empty, then quickly looks around the room) Calvin: Have you all had your shots?
Calvin: Do you believe our destinies are determined by the stars? Hobbes: Nah. Calvin: Oh, I do. Hobbes: Really? How come? Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you're not responsible for your actions.
Calvin acting like a nightmare at the doctor's office. Interestingly, the one time he was actually really sick (most of the time when he's at the doctor, he's just getting a check-up as opposed to being sick), he was too weak to put up a fuss for once.
Calvin shovelling the snow from driveway/walkway in a manner that makes his efforts totally useless.
Calvin trying to get out of having to clean his room.
Calvin watching insects scurry around and comparing them to his own work ethic.
Calvin: Look at all these ants. They're all running like mad, working tirelessly all day, never stopping, never resting. And for what? To build a tiny little hill of sand that could be wiped out at any moment! All their work could be for nothing and yet they keep on building. They never give up! Hobbes: I suppose there's a lesson in that. Calvin: Yeah... ants are morons. Let's see what's on TV.
Hobbes taunting Calvin about the physical superiority of tigers over humans.
Sunday strips which feature an Imagine Spot where the world is shown to have become altered in some strange way (turning into abstract art, turning monochrome, reversing colours etc.), usually as a metaphor for something in Watterson's real life.
Calvin and Susie Playing House, which leads to Fantasy Sequences of them as adults drawn in a more realistic art style. In these games, Calvin and Susie are married, he's a House Husband, she's the President, and they have many lovers' quarrels.
Calvin building snowmen and other snow sculptures. This snow art is usually either gory (often depicting either threatening snow monsters, scary-looking snowmen, or snowmen getting killed or maimed) or rude (such as a peeing snow dog or a snowman who's said to be anatomically correct).
