Not exactly a happy quest.
Witch Quest
is a Puella Magi Madoka Magica-based Forum Quest run on SpaceBattles.com by Chibi-Reaper, a healing-type writer. Readers vote on the actions that Rochelle, the sane Witch Of Regret, will take.
Rochelle is a Giant Spider Witch who, for reasons unknown, is both sane and has been caught up in Homu-Napalm's time loops. After being killed off a few times after the readers saw the quest as a comedy series, people began to take it seriously and started to earnestly try to get a good ending for everyone. Unfortunately for Rochelle, not everyone takes kindly to random spanners being thrown into their plans, and so Rochelle finds herself having to stay alive while trying to help everyone, despite Napalm's constant attempts to kill her, Walpurgisnacht's deadline and the Cosmic Deadline of Madoka's canon wish. Oh, and Kyubey wants to do SCIENCE on her to find out what makes her tick.
The quest ran for a year before being abandoned in 2013.
Witch Quest provides examples of:
- And Now for Someone Completely Different: Every now and then Chibi gives the readers a segment from the point of view of another character. No voting for their actions though.
- And Then John Was a Zombie: And then Rochelle was a wish-granting being.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: Rochelle wanted her family to be at peace. The Incubator obliged.
- Grew Beyond Their Programming: Kyubey speculates this to be the case (perhaps "grown beyond her instincts") for Rochelle, as he had never heard of a witch like her before.
- Heroic BSoD: Many.
- Not including the one that started the quest, after Rochelle's wish was twisted into killing her family, the most obvious one is Mami's constant breakdowns when the nature of magic girls is revealed.
- Rochelle herself has a major one when loop 5 ended, after Mami, the one person who had gotten close to her over the last loops was left behind in the looping.
- How Do I Shot Web?: Rochelle wishes her powers came with an instruction booklet. As do the voters.
- The Igor: Igor, a hunchbacked man who serves as one of Francine's manservants and medical assistants. He's just faking the lisp for effect, though, much to Francine's irritation.
- Intimate Healing: Turns out Witches can absorb grief to become stronger, who would have thought. Turns out Rochelle is a witch. Turns out the Puellas would often like to take advantage of that skill to be less dependent on Grief Seeds. The only thing standing between them and free grief drain is the level of trust they have, given that Rochelle has to take their soul gem and stick it into her mouth to suck the grief out. A) She has very sharp teeth. B) She still is a witch, even a benevolent one, god knows what might go wrong. C) It feels like there are mouths, thousands of them, so many kisses, and you are inside a mouth, and it is so warm and close and they are everywhere touching your everyth-
- Jerk Ass Genie: The Incubator that originally contracted Rochelle twisted the wish (something even Kyubey never did) in order to cause Rochelle to witch out faster. The voters have joked that this probably makes him the 'black sheep' of the Incubators for having to resort to such blunt methods.
- Kill It with Fire: Where the In-Series Nickname Napalm came from. It's become a minor meme on the thread.
- Killer Game Master: Chibi-Reaper has a bad habit of springing deadly obstacles, Spanner in the Works moments and Napalm on Rochelle every questionable-decision she makes.
- Left Hanging: The last update was in 2013.
- Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies: Loop 5. Everyone but Rochelle and Homura gets reset by an early-summoned-out-of-nowhere Walpurgisnacht. Including recently-befriended Mami.
- Running Gag: Early on, "Hwee ahr a giahnt spidahr."
- Shout-Out: The Jester is totally a Umineko: When They Cry Witch.
- Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: Once Napalm realises that no, Rochelle only wants to help everyone she sees her as a younger, more idealistic version of herself. She was about to start a speech on this, but Kyoko had had enough of her disingenuous assertions.
- Spanner in the Works: Several, all running headlong into each other.
- Rochelle is this to Napalm and Kyubey, while Napalm also makes a point of ruining Rochelle's plans whenever she gets the chance.
- The Jester Witch-thing, who acts more like a Umineko: When They Cry Witch than a Puella Magi Madoka Magica Witch. Especially when it started Breaking the Fourth Wall and talking directly to the voters. And then it started using the Red Truth, making it less 'acts like a Umineko Witch' and more obvious Shout-Out.
- Sociopathic Hero: Napalm is far, far worse here, thanks to Rochelle unwittingly screwing up her attempts to keep Madoka and her friends safe. At one point, she, assuming Rochelle's only change from other Witches was gaining self-awareness (meaning still evil and murderous) offers to let Rochelle eat several cities if she goes elsewhere to do it. Given how hard Rochelle had been trying to save everybody, this was a massive slap in the face.
- Survival Horror: How one Witch's Labyrinth manifests itself. Abandoned Hospital? Check. Meat Moss? Check. Zombie familiars as Mooks? Check. Ten-Second Flashlight? Check. Scattered video tapes that fill in some of the details about what made the magical girl who was held prisoner there give in to despair? Check. Cryptic memos that vaguely allude to solutions to puzzles located way on the other side of the building that must be solved before you can find the key to the door you really need to open ASAP? Check. Kyoko takes a great deal of exception to that last one and simply smashes her way through any inconvenient obstacles with her spear.
- Time Master: Hitomi, who makes a wish that effectively gives her some kind of time turner. Which she can use to, if she gets lucky, counter Napalm's time stop.
- What the Hell, Hero?: In loop 7, Rochelle and a few friends finally managed to put Napalm in a position where they had to talk things through. Napalm went on to offer to let Rochelle eat several cities as long as Rochelle didn't bother Madoka and herself any more. Neither Rochelle, nor the voters were pleased by this 'offer'.
