Chomp Thompin', illustration by user Propmaniac/Namkob
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.“oh, that’s a world-killing god whale. I named him cupcakes because he likes to eat muffins so much,”
— Duck
Super Mushroom Kingdom Wars, more commonly referred to as Nintendo Wars, is a text-based war game hosted on Zetaboards. The game originated on GameFAQs in 2007 and moved to Proboards and Invisionfree before ending up on Zetaboards. The game has had 12 previous versions to date, and has inspired some spin-offs, the most prominent being Pikmin Wars.
Users play by filling out a form for their chosen army and make progress in real-time days. Combat occurs when a player declares war on another user, where both sides will submit strategies for their armies to a third-party to write out the battle.
Super Mushroom Kingdom Wars contains examples of:
- A Nazi by Any Other Name: The Wobbuffets of NEKO are heavily implied to be this during Nintendo Gamecube Wars.
- Animal Mecha: Primarily Super Contractor Bros, although numerous.
- Anyone Can Die: But see "Death is Cheap:" below.
- Arbitrary Headcount Limit: The Maximum amount of regular troops any one player can control is 150,000.
- Artifact Title: "Super Mushroom Kingdom Wars" refers to the period when Mario themed armies were the only possible selection. Now, practically anything can be reasoned into the Wars so long as a component of its premise made it onto a Nintendo console in some form.
- And now, as long as it's been in a non-anime based video game.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Players will sometimes involve themselves as Greater Beings in the game for story purposes.
- Butt-Monkey: Patsy, although most people who become partners with Popple usually become this.
- Combat Tentacles: Titanic Blooper, Infini T.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Anti-Kirby Armada's attack against Second Chance, largely due to Cavalry Betrayal.
- Deadly Hug: Titanic Blooper loves to deliver these, mostly due to not knowing his own strength.
- Death Is Cheap: Bowser in particular has been killed off multiple times across the span of all the various versions of Nintendo Wars, yet comes back for more every few games or so.
- Dirty Communists: Paradee and his Waddle Dee Rebels' hat (though they're also Anarchists...it's complicated), as well as the entire purpose of the Mushroom Revolutionary Front, and the MUSSR that results from it. Also the ultimate fate of NEKO during the finale of Nintendo Gamecube Wars.
- Faux Affably Evil: Red Block and the rest of the Kids' Tetris crew.
- Fun with Acronyms: Dudes Interested in Crushing Koopas Squad. Also New Eldest Keep Offense.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: Popple and Patsy, Green Jester and Skorne.
- Humongous Mecha: Mega Toast, Toast, Captain Crunch, Undertoast, Toastette, Rainbow Toast, Super Toast, the Redeemer, Magnus Von Grapple 1.0-3.0, the New York S.T.A.R.s and probably numerous others.
- In Name Only: Occasionally an army branded "Hylian" will have only very loose aesthetic ties to the actual Zelda series itself, normally ending up as a generic fantasy army only with Hylians.
- Killed Off for Real: The use of certain artifacts can cause this to happen to Heroes, preventing them from coming back to life forevar. Thankfully, such a technique has only ever been used on a character no one cared about anyways.
- Kill It Through Its Stomach: The DRAGIN by Magikarp.
- Last of His Kind: Yeto.
- Macross Missile Massacre: How Guildmaster Wigglytuff was destroyed by Toast during Nintendo 64 Wars.
- Mad Doctor: Infini T.
- Mad Scientist: Dr. Claisen, Dr. Wily, Dr. Robotnik, Dr. Klein ect.
- Massively Multiplayer Crossover: One of the base concepts of the game.
- Mooks: Any troop that isn't classified as a War Machine is going to end up becoming this, if not complete Cannon Fodder.
- Power Degeneration: How Popple ultimately goes out in his final battle
- Put on a Bus: Landre, The Erlade of Zero Isles, and The Royal Messenger of NEKO, due to the player controlling the army permanently placing them in a quest and promptly refusing to complete it.
- Reforged into a Minion: Giga Bowser and Bowser Jr. into Project GB-X 13 and Experiment BJ-X 6. Also Wigglytuff and Chatot into Captain Applejack and Admiral Applesauce.
- Sealed Evil in a Can: The Master Crown actually housed the spirit of a malevolent godlike force known as Thanatus, who proved capable of taking down an entire army by himself.
- Spider Limbs: Game Guy
- Tank Goodness: NEKO's second hat after Ralts/Pokemon, also a specialty of the X-naut and Tetris armies. The Landmaster makes an appearance in every version as a purchasable good.
- Tanks for Nothing: Subverted; Even the wimpiest of five day light tanks can absolutely obliterate their fair share of mook-level Humongous Mecha without breaking a sweat, as though the latter can be classified as either a War Machine or a Troop, all tanks are Classified as War Machines. In an even fight however, tanks are still at a disadvantage against most War Machine level mechs.
- The Voice: Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Log, who doesn't play a role until The Last Conquest.
- The Grim Reaper: When Titanic Blooper becomes the Grim Reefer.
- There Is No Kill Like Overkill: In his battle with Popple, Happy Mask Salesman blasted the thief with several dozen mini-nukes, poison gas, yellow eco, thunder blasts, all the while shooting a steady stream of fire from the RYNO, and then dropped a moon on him. It doesn't work.
- On Magolor's attack on Second Chance, he was poisoned, consumed a parasitic plant, telepathically immobilized, cursed, attacked by two large machines and dozens of turrets, accelerated to high speeds and flung through a tunnel of swords, scaled by hot glue and electrified jelly, attacked by a large toy mecha continuously zapping him while launching barrages of missiles and Legos, punched in the face with a spork attached to a boxing glove, and thrown into a makeshift wrestling ring to be hit by the People's Elbow before finally being finished off with a gentle hug from his arch-nemesis.
- We Can Rebuild Him: Game Guy
