While Guillermo is enjoying his recently-earned weekly break, Laszlo gets abducted by a goat in the garden.
Tropes:
- Added Alliterative Appeal: Guillermo brands the sperm samples as "'Memo's Man Milk." The "Memo" is short for Guillermo.
- All Witches Have Cats: Averted, the coven's familiar is a Gruesome Goat.
- Bizarrchitecture: The room where Guillermo, Nadja, and Colin are sent to wait, featuring doors leading to flaming vortexes, blizzard winds, elderly contortionists, and a straight passage back to the room itself.
- Blood Magic: The witches use the semen of their victims to fuel their glamour... and make magnets.
- Call-Back: In "Ancestry", there was a one-off joke where witches (according to Nandor, Laszlo, and Nadja) are obsessed with stealing their semen, with Guillermo remarking that getting ahold of their DNA isn't that hard because they "leave it everywhere". Here we actually see a coven of witches abducting Laszlo and Nandor to surgically extract their semen for a spell, and Guillermo makes a case that they could just give them semen regularly without mutilating them because they tend to leave their semen all over the house. Colin also comments in that episode that he'd be honored to have his semen taken by witches, and he ends up an unwilling captive of theirs for that exact purpose in this episode.
- The same conversation also has Nadja casually mention that witches use semen to make magnets. While this could just be interpreted as another of Nadja's weird beliefs, Lillith confirms in this episode that as well as helping to maintain their youth, the witches will use it to make magnets.
- Crippling Castration: Nandor and Laszlo (and later Colin) are about to have their genitals extracted for their seed.
- Cutting the Knot: While Colin attempts to put his meager escape room skills to work in the many-doored room, Guillermo finds the exit door marked in Spanish.
- "Do It Yourself" Theme Tune: The Ending Theme of this episode ("Gather Up") is a song written and performed by Matt Berry from his 2013 album Kill the Wolf, a serendipitously apropos Concept Album about witchcraft in an English village.
- Exiled to the Couch: When Laszlo's promiscuity comes to light, his coffin is sent to the basement.
- Glamour: The witches are actually much older than they appear, breaking the illusion after dispersing pheromones.
- General Ripper: According to Nandor, Nadja blames everything that goes wrong on witches. Hence why at first he doesn't believe her that there really are witches involved this time.
- Glamour Failure: Lilith's impersonation of Nadja is... far from flawless, being portrayed by an entirely different actress who only looks like Nadja at first glance. If you squint. With Vaseline in your eyes.
- Gruesome Goat: The coven's familiar, acting as delivery boy and lookout. He also trashes the vampires' house while they're away.
- Has a Type: Laszlo, it turns out, is helpless to resist anyone who, like Nadja, is tall with long dark hair and a European accent— Lilith's "Nadja form" (which Nadja doesn't think looks like her at all), Lilith's fellow witch Judith, and, it turns out, Nandor.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: When Colin tries taking the credit for Guillermo finding the way out of the storage room, the witches take this as a sign that he is good for semen extraction and tie him to a table.
- Left the Background Music On: One of the witches selects the wrong playlist for the ceremony.
- Life Drinker: The witches apparently need to absorb concentrated life force (or something to that effect) from vampire semen to stay alive.
- Love Forgives All but Lust: When Nadja broke off her friendship with Lilith, it was because she supposedly took on her form to sleep with her husband. When it is elaborated that not only did the "form" that Lilith took not look like her, but he also slept with a different witch and Nandor, the episode ends with Laszlo being thrown into the proverbial dog house.
- Meatgrinder Surgery: The method of extracting the semen apparently fails half of the time, with a massive bloodstain on a different table indicating their last abductee.
- Nearly Normal Animal: It isn't until the end of the episode that it's revealed that the witches' goat (Black Peter) is sapient and can communicate his own thoughts telepathically rather than just delivering messages from the witches.
- One-Gender Race: Whether "witches" are a race per se in this universe is unclear, but everyone in this episode uses "witches" to mean a particular all-female variety of magic-user known for extending their lifespan through semen-stealing. (Note that we've already met a male magic-user, Wallace the Necromancer, who was never referred to by this term.)
- Plea Bargain: Guillermo uses the sales pitch skills that he picked up from watching Shark Tank to free Laszlo, Colin, and Nandor.
- Really Gets Around: Nadja asks if Laszlo has slept with every long-haired brunette with a European accent he met— including Lilith in disguise, a random witch that he knew by name, and Nandor, all to which he sheepishly nods.
- Shapeshifting Seducer: Lilith turned into Nadja in order to seduce Laszlo, although it turns out Nadja thinks her Nadja form isn't actually very faithful to the original.
- Shout-Out: The goat familiar is named "Black Pete."
- Snub by Omission: After Colin is bound, Lilith and Guillermo keep forgetting about him when mentioning the captives. To rub salt in the wound, he was rejected from the offer of sperm donors.
- Spot the Imposter: Played for laughs. Much to Nadja's annoyance, the rest of the group (including her own husband!) has trouble distinguishing her from her "duplicate", who looks nothing like her beyond having long dark hair and a vaguely European accent.
- Too Kinky to Torture:
- Even when the witches make it known that the method in which they'll be extracting the semen will be surgically done with painful looking tools, Nandor and Laszlo are only barely put-off by it.
- The witches also dispel their glamour to reveal their withered ancient forms as if it's intended to be a horrifying revelation for the captives. Laszlo isn't put off at all, while Nandor says "oooh, milfs, even better."
- Vain Sorceress: These witches are a very on-the-nose parody of this trope, all appearing as beautiful women until their glamour is removed revealing their true age, and revealing that they depend on making potions from vampire semen to stay young.
- Villain Ball: It seems kind of obvious that it's a lot easier to extract semen from somebody voluntarily, especially if you're a Hot Witch, than trying to take it by force via painful vivisection, and that it's a much more sustainable practice than killing the goose that laid the golden eggs (so to speak). In fact, it's openly stated that Lilith did "harvest" semen from Laszlo this way back in the day when they were lovers, and the witches seem to have switched to more destructive methods on principle, out of contempt for their victims. They agree to Guillermo's plan mainly because it puts Guillermo in charge of collecting the semen himself, which for them was always the sticking point (so to speak).
- We Used to Be Friends: Lilith and Nadja, until the former slept with Laszlo.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Lampshaded. After the whole plot of the episode seems to have been resolved, our cast returns home to find out that the house has been torn apart because they all forgot that they left the witches' goat there.
