"Dare to dream. Do it. We dare you. Go ahead, dream. It’ll be fine. We promise. Welcome to Night Vale."
Night Vale Daily Journal editor Leann Hart announces changes at the newspaper, while continuing a successful execution of her most controversial business plan. Plus, a station editorial, a look at local traffic, and a parade for a local sports hero.
Tropes present in Hatchets include:
- The Bad Guy Wins: Leann Hart murders several dozen news bloggers and gets off scot-free. She fails to kill Intern Maureen, though.
- Exact Words: The City Council try to prevent bots from mining people's private data by passing a law declaring that all data is now public.
"Today's proverb: Ask your doctor, just who he thinks he is. Say it just like that. Say, 'Who do you think you are?' See if he starts crying. I know I would."
