Recap / The Venture Bros S 1 E 9 Are You There God Its Me Dean

Episode - 1-09 (10th in Broadcast Order)

First Aired - October 2, 2004

The Venture family is tied up and suspended over the Amazon River by The Monarch. The Monarch thanks the Ventures for finding Grover Cleveland's "Presidential Time Machine" for him, and gives a villainous speech as he prepares to lower the Ventures into the river where they will be assaulted by the dreaded "candiru" fish. Before this can happen, Dean starts to squirm in his ropes in extreme pain from his genitals. Dr. Venture cites a Guild of Calamitous Intent law stating that hostages must be freed if one of them requires serious medical attention. The Monarch, who only joined the Guild for its dental and health insurance package, reluctantly agrees, but insists upon keeping Hank and Brock to ensure Venture's return.

Dean refuses to allow Dr. Venture to examine his genitals aboard the X-1 and demands a real doctor. Venture brings in Billy Quizboy and Pete White, who conclude that Dean is suffering from testicular torsion and requires immediate surgery. After some reluctance and convincing, Dean allows them to perform the surgery.

Meanwhile, The Monarch takes Hank and Brock back to his cocoon, where his henchmen are going to celebrate The Monarch's birthday. Lame gifts and having nothing to do spoil the occasion for The Monarch. Finally, Brock sneaks away to give The Monarch what he actually wants for his birthday, a battle. As Henchmen 21 and 24 argue over whether or not Smurfs are mammals, Brock attacks. He severs the Achilles tendon of one henchman and then knocks 21 and 24 unconscious as they try to report back to the Monarch. Brock then threatens The Monarch, who thanks Brock for giving him something to do. Brock captures Dr. Girlfriend from her bed, and she is upset that Brock isn't there to "ravish her."

Billy and Pete perform crude surgery on Dean, with Pete stabbing Billy's non-robotic hand with a scalpel and, at one point, dropping one of his testicles on the floor. Finally, they complete the surgery and Dean, now awake, is greeted by friends of the family with awkward gifts. Dr. Venture attempts to call The Monarch to inform him that Dean is healthy, and they can return to the situation from earlier.

At the cocoon, Brock has Dr. Girlfriend at knifepoint while The Monarch has Hank at the end of his wrist dart launcher. Bodies of dead henchmen are strewn about, and everyone is covered with blood when Venture's call comes in. Everyone frantically tries to return to normal and pretend that nothing was going on when The Monarch answers Venture's call, to the point of claiming the blood they are covered with is actually jam. Everyone returns to the situation from the beginning of the episode, only this time, Hank begins to squirm due to testicular pain as the episode ends.

The Stinger is a poorly-made public service video called "Get the Facts: Testicular Torsion," where the family awkwardly (and obviously) reads lines off a cue card about getting checked for testicular torsion with the slogan "Stop, touch, and tell!"

Tropes:

• Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Dr. Girlfriend asks this almost word for word when Brock breaks into her bedroom. (He doesn't.)
  Dr. Girlfriend: You're going to take advantage of me, aren't you? [throws back blankets] Well be quick with it!
  Brock: To be honest with you I hadn't considered that.
  Dr. Girlfriend (clearly hurt): Why not?
  Brock: Just didn't.
  Dr. Girlfriend: Well, I'm not gonna beg.
• Eskimos Aren't Real: Rusty claims the candiru fish isn't real. (It is.) He might be talking about the myth of candiru fish swimming up a man's urethra. There was one confirmed case, but it is exceedingly rare, and definitely wouldn't happen just because they are in the water.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Dr. Girlfriend assumes The Monarch brought Hank and Brock into their bedroom to have an orgy on his birthday and states she's okay with Brock joining but draws the line at including Hank since he's a kid.
  Dr. Girlfriend: Well, I guess the muscular one's okay, but the boy is going too far! Can't we just use the puppet again?
• Foreshadowing: Rusty mentioned that he could have dealt with Dean's testicular torsion while he was in the prototype phase, hinting that Hank and Dean's birth was less than natural.
• Forgot to Feed the Monster: When The Monarch orders the release of his deadly butterflies, they all drop out dead.
  The Monarch: "Okay, who forgot to feed the butterflies?"
• Groin Attack: Poor, poor Dean. You will Share the Male Pain while watching this episode.
• Here We Go Again!: Just when The Monarch re-attempts his plan to kill Dr. Venture, Hank now cries in pain.
• High-Five Left Hanging: Happens to Billy twice in this episode.
• Limited Wardrobe: Lampshaded by The Monarch when Hank comments on changing his clothes. (After which, Hank spends most of the rest of the episode in a minion costume.)
  Hank: I had to sleep in my clothes! Now I feel gross wearing them two days in a row!
  The Monarch: You're kidding me, right? That's the only outfit I've ever seen you in!
  Hank: Well, that doesn't mean I never wash it.
  The Monarch: Fair enough.
• Luke, I Am Your Father: Played for laughs as The Monarch claims to be Hank's real father on their way to the cocoon. He admits he was joking after a moment.
• Mid-Battle Tea Break: The Monarch has the Ventures tied up over a candiru-infested swamp when Dean starts yelling in pain. As it turns out, Guild Law states The Monarch has to let them go if the ailment is unrelated to the arching. It turns out Dean has a case of testicular torsion, and the family is tied up in the same spot by The Monarch after Dean makes his recovery.
• Mook Horror Show: Brock pulls this off in The Monarch's cocoon as a birthday favor. 21 and 24 are appropriately terrified, reporting the unseen attacker as either a giant spider or two ninjas taped together.
• Shipper on Deck: Pete White tries to get Triana to kiss Dean, in front of everyone, while Dean is wearing nothing on his lower half except a massive number of bandages. Surprising the kids ignore his suggestion, right? (Billy, offscreen, quietly, goes, "D'awww, sweet...")
• Shout-Out:
  • The episode title is based on the book Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.
  • The Monarch jokes with Hank about being his father, resembling Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker's conversation from Star Wars.
  • Henchmen 21 and 24 debate whether or not the Smurfs are mammals, or an egg-laying species.
    Henchman 24: Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs.
    Henchman 21: Oh my God, you're crazy! They're so obviously mammals!
    Henchman 24: Please! She'd be in estrus 24/7 if she didn't lay eggs.
    Henchman 21: Smurfs don't lay eggs! I won't tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a f**king beard! They're mammals!
    • The debate is a possible reference to a similar scene in Donnie Darko.
  • Pete White is playing Grand Theft Auto III when they receive the call from Dr. Venture.
  • Pete also mentions "That guy from INXS," referencing Michael Hutchence, who was found dead in November 1997 in a hotel room, hanging by his neck from autoerotic asphyxiation.
  • Dr. Orpheus gives Dean a "Zuni fetish doll," as seen in the Trilogy of Terror movies.
  • The Monarch's statement to Brock "You'll be given the grandest of accommodations. It will be a far cry from sleeping over Dr. Venture's garage, like so much Fonzie" is a reference to Arthur Fonzarelli on the show Happy Days, who rented an apartment from the Cunninghams, which was above their garage.
  • Dr. Girlfriend is shown reading Friedrich Nietzsche's book Beyond Good and Evil in bed when Brock breaks into her room.
• Signed Up for the Dental: The Monarch's reason for joining the Guild.
• Stylistic Suck: The testicular torsion PSA in the post-credits scene, where the characters are clearly seen reading their lines from a teleprompter.
• Worst Aid: Everything about Billy and Pete's surgery on Dean, though their explanation of the condition is fairly accurate.