Cat and Mouse
"Andrea Moffatt longs for true love. A man who is strong, handsome, and exotic; who desires her above all other women. She is about to learn that naivete has its price, and that the universe has a very curious sense of humor."
Andrea Moffatt (Pamela Bellwood) is a timid and withdrawn pharmacy clerk who is obsessed with romance novels, particularly their depictions of true love. Her coworker Carl (John Blackwood) has asked her on a date, but she has repeatedly refused him, prompting her friend Elaine (Gwynyth Walsh) to persuade her to give real-life men a chance at love, even if they may not measure up to her standards. That night, Andrea meets Guillaume de Marchaux (Page Fletcher), a suave and mysterious Frenchman who snuck into her house without her noticing. Guillaume explains that this is due to the fact that he was cursed with immortality and forced to become a black cat during the day, the result of him sleeping with the wife of a powerful warlock. Guillaume claims to find Andrea hauntingly attractive and spends the next few nights in bed with her, letting her become happy again, but Andrea soon begins wondering whether Guillaume loves her body more than her, as he begins eyeing Elaine as well.
Tropes
- All Take and No Give: Andrea showers Guillaume with affection and gifts, believing she's has finally found the man of her dreams after years of loneliness. However, Guillaume belittles her by calling her a "fool of a woman" and threatens to leave her if she doesn't get a decent blend of coffee as opposed to the "sewage water" she's been serving him. As soon as she leaves, he has sex with her "friend" Elaine, and later tells Andrea to spare him the clichés when she thought he loved her.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: Andrea is an extremely lonely woman who longs for true love, namely a man who is "strong, handsome, and exotic" like the heroes of the romance novels she reads. It appears that all her dreams have come true when she meets Guillaume, a suave and charismatic Frenchman who is stuck as a cat by day, and they become lovers. However, after several days, it becomes clear that Guillaume is a petty, cruel, self-obsessed jackass who only uses Andrea for easy sex, having no real feelings or respect for her.
- The Casanova: The suave and handsome Guillaume describes himself as having a great talent for love-making, but it's deconstructed when it's revealed that he's a complete jerk who only uses women for sex. Ever since he was cursed, he's spent centuries going from lover to lover, never spending more than a few days with one before getting bored.
- Chekhov's Gun: The downers that Elaine slips in Andrea's purse, which she uses to drug Guillaume's coffee and drag his cat form to the vet to have him fixed.
- Curse: After being found in bed with the wife of a powerful warlock, said warlock put a curse on Guillaume that turns him into a cat by the light of day, as well as immortality to prolong the spell. Interestingly, the curse doesn't actually stop him from fooling around with women, as he can freely transform between man and cat at night and treats it as a minor inconvenience.
- Earn Your Happy Ending: After having her lonely heart toyed with by the jerkass Guillaume and being betrayed by her so called "friend" Elaine, Andrea gets the last laugh on Guillaume by drugging his coffee and dragging his cat form to the vet so he can be fixed. The experience has also taught her that romance novel-style true love isn't real and that she should be more assertive, so she finally agrees to go out with Carl to experience real happiness. It's hinted that their relationship might start moving to the next level as well.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Elaine refers to Andrea as "Mouse" because of her shy and mousy demeanor, and also compares her to a hamster and gerbil.
- Establishing Character Moment: The episode opens with the shy and timid Andrea reading a romance novel at work, while avoiding any meaningful human contact.
- Forced Transformation: Guillaume was cursed by an angry warlock to live forever and take the form of a cat during the day as punishment for sleeping with his wife. Guillaume doesn't mind it, though, as he's able to turn back into a man at night, and being immortal has let him keep screwing with women's hearts for centuries.
- French Jerk: While he's suave and handsome on the outside, Guillaume is a callous and petty asshole who only loves women for their bodies, ditching them after a few nights of easy sex.
- Hates Being Alone: Andrea leads a very lonely life, where she spends most of her time dreaming about her true love, but can never find him because every man who asks her out, including Carl, doesn't meet up to her standards. She's delighted when she meets Guillaume, who seems to be the charismatic and virile lover found in the romance novels she loves reading, but it turns out that he's a selfish prick who simply uses women for sex.
- Ignored Aesop: Guillaume's curse was meant to punish him by keeping him from ever finding love with a woman again, and leaving him to think about what he did. It doesn't have any affect on him whatsoever, as he sees it as a mere inconvenience that doesn't stop him from screwing more and more women over.
- Introverted Cat Person: The shy and timid Andrea is delighted when a black cat comes through her window one evening. It later turns out that this cat is Guillaume de Marchaux, an immortal French lothario who was cursed to stay a cat during the day by a warlock whose wife he slept with.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Elaine takes advantage of Andrea's timid personality at times, but she makes a point early in the episode that Andrea shouldn't weasel out of dating decent men like Carl just because they don't meet up to her impossibly-high romantic standards.
- Karma Houdini: While Guillaume gets his just desserts, Elaine suffers no such karma for taking advantage of Andrea, calling her "Mouse" all the time, sleeping with Guillaume behind her back, and swiping downers from the pharmacy the women work in.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Guillaume mistreats Andrea constantly, pretending to have feelings for her while simply using her for sex. While she's out on a date with Carl, he has sex with her co-worker Elaine. That night, Andrea drugs his coffee, and when he regains consciousness, he's turned into a cat again and has been brought to the vet's office, where Andrea says that she wants to have him fixed. The loathsome lothario can only yowl in anger as he's dragged into the backroom.
- Misery Builds Character: Andrea's experience of being used and abused by Guillaume teaches her not to be weak and submissive. She also realizes that the kind of love found in romance novels doesn't exist in the real world, and she finally agrees to go out with Carl so that she can have a chance at real happiness.
- Paranormal Romance: Andrea begins a romance with Guillaume, who is magically turned into a cat by day and a man by night. Although Andrea initially believes that they're in love, she later realizes that Guillaume was just using her for sex.
- Really Gets Around: Guillaume has been left alive for centuries after he was cursed, and it never stopped him from getting it on with every woman he's ever met.
- She Cleans Up Nicely: At Guillaume's suggestion, Andrea gets a makeover and buys new outfits, turning her from homely to pretty.
- Shrinking Violet: Andrea wants to find true love, but she keeps turning down every man who asks her out, as all the romance novels she loves reading have made her standards for a lover impossibly high.
- Slipping a Mickey: Andrea slips the downers Elaine snuck into her purse into Guillaume's coffee. When he wakes up, he is once again a cat and Andrea has brought him to the vet in order to have him fixed.
- Trademark Favorite Drink: Guillaume has a taste for coffee, raking Andrea over the coals for brewing "sewage water" instead of a decent blend. She later puts Elaine's downers in his coffee to drug him and take him to the vet.
- Who Wants to Live Forever?: Averted with Guillaume. His curse renders him immortal and stuck as a cat in the day so he can presumably never find a woman's love again. He doesn't care about his enchanted state one bit, as it doesn't stop him from being able to get it on with women at night, which he's been doing for centuries. Later, it's played straight when Andrea takes to the vet while he's a cat to have him fixed, ensuring that his immortality is no longer enjoyable.
- With Friends Like These...: Andrea's co-worker Elaine, who calls her "Mouse" behind her back, notes that Andrea has gone from dowdy to chipper over the course of a few days and immediately concludes that she met someone. She bides her time and waits until Andrea leaves her house so she can see for herself. She and Guillaume proceed to have sex in the 20 minutes that Andrea is gone, which is exactly what Elaine hoped would happen.
"A lesson on romance versus reality, with a word of warning for those who want to mix the two: don't. Or you may find your head in the clouds, your feet on the ground, and the rest of you, somewhere — in the Twilight Zone."
