Monsters!
In Mill Valley, young Toby Michaels (Oliver Robbins) and his father are horror fanatics who have an encyclopedic knowledge of how monsters work. One day, an old man moves into the house where Toby's best friend used to live. When checking on the house, the old man meets Toby and introduces himself as Emile Francis Benedictson (Ralph Bellamy), revealing that he's a vampire. While initially excited to meet a genuine monster, Toby is taught by Emile that vampires aren't at all how they're presented in the movies. At the same time, a mysterious sickness is spreading throughout the neighborhood, and Emile tells Toby that he was born in Mill Valley and came back there to die, warning Toby that the sickness is connected to his vampirism and the coming of "the monsters", who are set to kill him at midnight.
Tropes
- Affectionate Nickname: Toby's father regularly calls him "Ace."
- Bittersweet Ending: Emile is killed by the transformed residents of Mill Valley, who don't even remember doing the act, but Toby shows his father the same fireflies Emile showed him and they enjoy a tranquil moment together... until his father sneezes.
- Daywalking Vampire: Emile tells Toby that, contrary to how they are depicted in the movies, vampires are immune to garlic, crucifixes, and the sun, so he can spend as much time in the daylight as any human.
- Death Seeker: Emile reveals to Toby that he came back to Mill Valley to die, as he's tired of going from one place to another and is either unable or unwilling to put himself down.
- Face Death with Dignity: As Emile waits for the transformed residents to kill him, he just sits in his living room, calmly enjoying a last drink.
- Humans Are the Real Monsters: While Emile is a vampire, his biology induces a mutation in ordinary humans that turns them into shaggy monsters that seek out and kill vampires.
- Intergenerational Friendship: Toby, a young monster movie fan, becomes friends with Emile, the 158-year-old vampire who moves in next door.
- The Killer in Me: The residents of Mill Valley, Toby included, transform into the vampire-destroying monsters Emile warned the boy about. When his body is carried off by paramedics the next day, they have no memory of the act and wonder who could've done such a thing.
- Like Father, Like Son: Toby gets his love of monsters from his father, who is every bit a monster fanatic as him.
- Manchild: Toby's dad loves monsters as much as his son does, and is always up for discussing monster movie trivia and playing "monster hunter" with him. His wife even calls the pair of them "My two children."
- Offscreen Teleportation: As Toby spies on Emile using super strength to help fix his car, he tries to escape without being seen, only for the old man to block his path.
- Our Vampires Are Different: Emile explains to Toby that everything he learned about vampires from the movies is incorrect, as becoming a vampire is more like contracting a disease rather than dying and returning from the grave. He also states that vampires are immune to sunlight, garlic, and crosses.
- Vampires aren't granted eternal life and don't cease aging when turned. Emile became a vampire at 11 years old, and appears to be in his early 80s in 1986, 147 years after he was bitten.
- Most significantly, there's something in a vampire's biology that instigates a genetic mutation in ordinary humans when in close proximity, causing them to become very sickly and transform into shaggy, hulking monsters that kill vampires at midnight. Emile says that the process acts as a genetic defense mechanism.
- P.O.V. Cam: The opening scene has Toby's father sneaking up on him while wearing a monster mask, the camera looking through his eyes.
- Really 700 Years Old: Emile is a 158-year-old vampire who looks to be in his early 80's.
- Shout-Out: Expect a lot of them here, as Toby and his father are huge monster fans:
- Toby has posters of The Phantom of the Opera (1925), Dracula (1931), and The Mummy (1932), as well as a mask of Stripe from Gremlins in his room.
- Toby and his father discuss plans to watch The Crawling Eye early in the episode.
- Toby tells Emile that he's seen every Hammer Horror film at least six times.
- Toby's father tells him to "keep watching the skies", a reference to the last line of The Thing from Another World.
- In the opening scene, Toby yells "Die, Monster, Die!" while playing "monster hunter" with his dad, which prompts him to rattle off trivia of the film in question.
- Sudden Downer Ending: As they enjoy watching the fireflies, Toby's father suddenly sneezes, hinting that Emile's vampirism has been spread to Toby. From this point, the only options the kid has is to wait to be killed by his own friends and family, or keep going on the run to stop the mutation from activating, just like Emile did.
- Suicide by Cop: Emile has never stayed anywhere too long for fear of activating the mutation that turns ordinary humans into vampire-killing monsters. After traveling the world for almost 150 years, he returns to his hometown of Mill Valley so he can die where he was born. Several days after his arrival, the townspeople turn into monsters and kill him in brutal fashion.
- Super-Strength: Emile uses his super-strength to lift his car so he can clean the undercarriage when he thinks no one's looking. However, Toby sees the whole thing, and this clues him in to Emile's secret.
- When the Clock Strikes Twelve: The mutation that turns ordinary humans into vampire-hunting monsters occurs a few minutes after midnight.
- Your Vampires Suck: Emile criticizes the depiction of vampires in the movies Toby enjoys because almost everything about movie vampires is inaccurate.
A Small Talent for War
On a typical day of debate at the United Nations Headquarters, an alien spacecraft approaches the building and beams an ambassador (John Glover) down to meet the representatives of the world. The ambassador claims that humankind is only one form of life his kind created and seeded throughout the galaxy, and is none too pleased with the planet's "small talent for war", threatening to have his people destroy the planet and start over somewhere else. Determined to survive, the leaders of the world spend the remaining 24 hours before Earth's destruction drafting a document to declare global peace, only to learn that they made a grave misunderstanding.
Tropes
- Affably Evil: The ambassador calmly tells the United Nations Security Council that his people intend to destroy all life on Earth in 24 hours, as they are disappointed with the "small talent for war" that humanity displays. The next day, the ambassador returns to find that the UN has negotiated a lasting global peace and unilateral disarmament. He promptly begins laughing hysterically, explaining that his people breed warriors and humans have proven themselves to be completely insufficient for their requirements, since they desired peace above all else. He thanks the Security Council for "a most amusing day" and their "delightful sense of the absurd." Before Earth is destroyed by his people's armada, his parting comment refers to the last words of Edmund Gwenn: "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."
- Aliens Are Bastards: Earth is destroyed by the aliens that seeded life on the planet two million years ago, as humanity's talent for war is too small for their needs.
- Bad Is Good and Good Is Bad: The aliens have this mentality. They had hoped for the human race to become savage conquerors, and consider mankind’s desire for peace to be their worst quality.
- Bottle Episode: The short takes place entirely in a meeting room in the United Nations Headquarters.
- Cruel Twist Ending: The ambassador admonishes humanity for their primitive, war-like ways, and threatens Earth with total annihilation if humans can't show greater potential. The UN achieves a treaty for world peace... and this act seals humanity's fate, as the aliens wanted greater potential for violence.
- Deadly Closing Credits: The final shot of the episode has hundreds of spaceships descending on Earth, preparing to destroy it.
- Downer Ending: This episode has one of the darkest endings, it not the darkest, of any season of The Twilight Zone. Despite the human race's best efforts to impress their creators, the aliens don't find the humans vicious or intelligent enough to qualify as soldiers, so they destroy Earth and decide to start over somewhere else.
- Dramatic Irony: As the ambassador's ship approaches the UN building, Mr. Fraser refuses the Soviet representative's suggestion that all nations have their armed forces on alert, not wanting the first extraterrestrial lifeforms to visit Earth (from their perspective) to think of them as savages. Unfortunately, this is exactly what the aliens wanted to see, and establishing world peace only leads to the planet's destruction.
- Dramatically Missing the Point: The alien ambassador tells the UN that his species is disappointed in the human race’s “small talent for war”. After convincing the ambassador to give them one day to prove their worth, they create and sign a treaty for world peace, to proven they’ve risen above primitive savagery. Unfortunately, the ambassador then tells them that what he meant is that mankind’s talent for war is too small, and his race wanted humans to be the perfect warriors to fight for them. The alien ambassador sees this as Comically Missing the Point.
- Eiffel Tower Effect: The short opens with a shot of the United Nations Headquarters in New York City.
- The End of the World as We Know It: The ambassador's people are seen descending to the planet so they can destroy it.
- Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humor: When the alien ambassador sees the humans’ world peace treaty and realizes that the humans have doomed themselves by misunderstanding his words, he laughs hysterically.
- Exact Words: An alien ambassador shows up before the United Nations and announces that humanity is just one of many races his people seeded across the galaxy. They've come to judge Earth and are extremely disappointed with the level of belligerence they find, remarking that the human race has a "small talent for war". Under the threat of planetary destruction, every nation in the world immediately drops its conflicts, and representatives work around the clock, coming up with a comprehensive blueprint for total nuclear disarmament and world peace just before the deadline. The ambassador reads the plan and starts laughing. He specifically said that his race was unhappy with humanity's level of belligerence and small talent for war... but he didn't specify why they were unhappy. Turns out that they're a proud species of violent conquerors, and the human race isn't violent enough for them.
- Human Aliens: The aliens who sowed humanity on Earth in the distant past, so humans look like punier versions of them.
- Humanity Came from Space: It's revealed that humanity was created on Earth by aliens, and that they are very disappointed with their progress in becoming warriors.
- Humanity on Trial: Thoroughly subverted. The aliens, claiming to have created humankind, announce that they're disappointed by their "small talent for war" and intend to destroy Earth. The nations of the world rush to sign a disarmament treaty in time to change the aliens' mind... which turns out to be the exact thing not to do. The aliens were breeding warriors, and what disappointed them was their small talent for war, so Earth is blown up.
- Humans Are Bastards: Inverted. According to the aliens, they're not big enough bastards to be useful to them.
- Humans Are Good: A very dark example. Despite their bickering, the occasional wars, and the nuclear arms race, humans are merciful, afraid of conflict, and genuinely want peace. This makes them completely useless for the reason Earth was seeded: to breed a civilization of mighty warriors. Thus, the aliens who created humankind wipe them out and start another crop elsewhere.
- Humans Are the Real Monsters: Subverted. The aliens destroy humanity because they were attempting to breed warriors, and humans aren't monstrous enough to be of any use to them.
- Humans Are Warriors: The alien ambassador says that his people are very displeased with humanity's "small talent for war", and will destroy Earth in 24 hours. Humanity quickly signs a global peace accord, but finds that the aliens actually wanted humanity to be much more aggressive so they can serve as warriors for their armies. Seeing humankind to be a failure, they destroy the Earth.
- Karma Houdini: The evil aliens receive no punishment for destroying the human race.
- Long-Lived: The ambassador claims that his race has lived for at least several million years.
- No Name Given: The only character who is given a name is Mr. Fraser, US ambassador to the United Nations.
- The One Thing I Don't Hate About You: Not that it saves us, but the ambassador does praise humanity's capacity to create comedy.
- Pacifism Backfire: In response to the aliens' threats to destroy Earth, the Security Council drafts a document detailing global peace and the total nullification of nuclear weapons. The ambassador returns and reveals that his people didn't want humanity to declare peace, but to become stronger and more powerful so they could fight in their armies.
- Panspermia: The ambassador explains to the Security Council that Earth is one of several thousand planets that his people seeded with life two million years ago. They have deemed Earth to be a failure due to the "small talent for war" that humanity displays. The Council doesn't realize until the next day that the aliens breed warriors to fight for them across the galaxy, and humanity's talent for war is too small to be of any use to them.
- Poor Communication Kills: One can only wonder what would have happened if the ambassador had just pointed out what he really meant with "a small talent for war" in the first place.
- Prove I Am Not Bluffing: The Soviet ambassador to the United Nations expresses doubt that the aliens have the power to destroy Earth. The ambassador cryptically tells him to "keep watching the skies". Several minutes later, the British ambassador receives a report from the Royal Observatory that Halley's Comet has been destroyed.
- Shout-Out:
- The ambassador's appearance heavily resembles Klaatu from The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951). He also quotes the line "Keep watching the skies." from The Thing from Another World, just as Toby Michaels did in the previous episode.
- Before his people destroy Earth, the ambassador quotes the last words of "fine Earth actor" Edmund Gwenn: "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard."
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: An alien race sowed humanity on Earth in the distant past, and humanity's desperate attempt to impress their creators ends very badly.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: In an effort to prove to the aliens that they’re more than bloodthirsty savages, the world leaders create and sign a treaty for world peace. However, it turns out the aliens wanted the humans to be bloodthirsty savages, so they destroy the human race immediately after they achieve world peace.
"If we are pawns of dark powers, then even our highest aspirations become a grim joke. But if not, then no one will goad us toward world peace or take it away once we have achieved it. Doubters please note, you've just seen it achieved once, however briefly — in The Twilight Zone."
A Matter of Minutes
Michael and Maureen Wright (Adam Arkin and Karen Austin) are woken up on a seemingly ordinary morning by the sounds of construction. Investigating the disturbance, they find a number of faceless blue beings dressed as construction workers deconstructing their house. They spot similar crews of the beings throughout the neighborhood, and at one point get trapped in an endless expanse of white space. The orange-clad foreman of the beings (Adolph Caesar) rescues the Wrights from the void and lets them in on the truth: every minute of every day is a separate world that is built from the ground up and torn down once the minute passes. The Wrights seem to have "skipped over" a few hours and have since gotten themselves mixed up in an unauthorized "backstage tour" of time itself.
Tropes
- Adaptational Job Change: In the episode, Michael works in an office. In the short story "Yesterday Was Monday" by Theodore Sturgeon, his equivalent character Harry Wright is an auto mechanic.
- Adaptation Deviation: In the episode, every minute exists as a separate world that must be constructed and subsequently torn down once that minute has elapsed, monitored by a foreman who compares the process to boxcars on a train. In the short story, the workers construct days, each of which is referred to as an act that forms part of a larger play, overseen by a producer. People are considered "actors" who play their roles on a stage, a reference to the "All the world's a stage" monologue from As You Like It.
- Adaptation Name Change: The husband's name is Michael Wright in the episode. In the short story "Yesterday Was Monday", his name is Harry Wright.
- Adapted Out: Gurrah, the supervisor of limbo and a major supporting character in the short story, is omitted from the episode.
- Affably Evil: Though the Foreman intends to keep Michael and Maureen outside of time, he rescues them from a white void of nothing and pleasantly teaches them about how time actually works, and his actions are largely to ensure that the true nature of time is kept secret from humankind.
- The Blank: The blue construction workers who build and tear down every minute of time have no faces.
- Blank White Void: Michael and Maureen attempt to use the phone of their neighbor Cliff Turner when they discover the blue-clad workers, but when they enter his house, they find nothing but a featureless white void. The same thing happens later when they run down an alley, where the Foreman rescues them. He explains that there are certain locations that nobody will use, see, or go to during every particular minute, so he and his workers just don't bother constructing them. As part of his demonstration for how time works, the Foreman takes the Wrights to another such void, a minute on Christmas Day 1986, where his workers have only just begun constructing the groundwork.
- Canon Foreigner: Michael's wife Maureen, who becomes trapped with him in a minute that is still under construction. In the short story, only Harry was trapped.
- Composite Character: The Foreman is a composite of supervisor Iridel and the producer from the short story the episode is based on.
- Earn Your Happy Ending: After spending the whole episode confused and frightened, the Wrights are able to escape the Foreman and his crew, and are finally able to get back in sync with normal time. They even find a blue wrench left behind by a worker as proof of their adventure, and are last seen heading off to tell Garry, a friend of theirs who writes articles for a popular science magazine.
- Fantasy Keepsake: The Wrights find a blue wrench belonging to one of the workers, and they hold onto it as a souvenir of their trip behind time's inner workings.
- Just One Second Out of Sync: A variation occurs in this episode. On April 27, 1986, Michael and Maureen wake up to the sounds of construction. Their alarm clock says that it is 11:37 A.M., but Michael's watch reads 7:05. They hear what they assume to be burglars downstairs, but find faceless workers replacing all of their furniture and belongings with identical copies. Shortly afterwards, they are discovered by these workers' foreman, who explains to them that every minute is a separate world that must be constructed and demolished once it has passed. The Wrights discover that for reasons unknown, they have stumbled into 11:37, which is still under construction.
- Lighter and Softer: While the first episode was somewhat emotional and the second utterly hopeless, this episode plays things far lighter, presenting itself as an adventure/mystery with a no-strings-attached happy ending.
- Ontological Mystery: The Wrights wake up to the sound of the blue blank-faced workers loading copies of their stuff into their house, along with every other house in the neighborhood. After they wind up stumbling across a blank void, they meet a man dressed in orange who explains that they are essentially backstage time itself, seeing one particular minute being made.
- Shout-Out: At one point, the Wrights hide from the Foreman and his construction workers in a theater where Time Bandits is playing.
- The Speechless: The faceless workers who build every minute are evidently unable to speak, due to their lack of faces.
- These Are Things Man Was Not Meant to Know: The Foreman tells the Wrights that they'll have to stay "behind the scenes" with him and his workers, since they can't have anyone finding out how time is really created, as it is theorized the results would be cataclysmic.
- The Unreveal: How exactly the Wrights managed to "skip over" a few hours and land in 11:37 while it was under construction is left unexplained.
- Weirdness Search and Rescue: The Foreman gently takes the time to explain to the Wrights how time actually works when they accidentally end up "outside" it, even showing them an animated computer graphic prepared for such an event.
- You Can't Go Home Again: The Foreman tells the Wrights that they'll have to stay behind the scenes of time forever, since no one can know the truth about the concept.
"Time, a handy fiction to explain why everything doesn't happen all at once. Or maybe, we're the fiction, moving minute by minute — through the Twilight Zone."
