Rod Serling: Wintry February night, the present. Order of events: a phone call from a frightened woman notating the arrival of an unidentified flying object, then the checkout you've just witnessed, with two state troopers verifying the event – but with nothing more enlightening to add beyond evidence of some tracks leading across the highway to a diner. You've heard of trying to find a needle in a haystack? Well, stay with us now, and you'll be part of an investigating team whose mission is not to find that proverbial needle, no, their task is even harder. They've got to find a Martian in a diner, and in just a moment you'll search with them, because you've just landed – in the Twilight Zone.
Air date: May 26, 1961
A pair of state troopers are called in response to what appears to be to a UFO that crash-landed in a clearing in the woods. The trail left by the ship's pilot leads the troopers to a nearby diner, where they find a group of passengers aboard a bus: two married couples; a professional dancer named Ethel; a sour-faced businessman named Ross, Olmstead the bus driver, and a crazy old man named Avery. The problem is that although seven people entered the diner with Olmstead, the driver himself is certain that there were only six passengers before they arrived at the diner. As bizarre occurances begin happening around the diner, the mystery grows more and more nerve-wracking as the policemen work to deduce which of their witnesses is actually a Martian.
Will the Real Tropes Please Stand Up?:
- Affably Evil: Despite being a Venusian Imperialist, Haley is actually shown to be quite friendly and cordial with his Earthling guests, with no instance of hidden malice. He's not so friendly and cordial with Ross, though, as he's from a race his people just intercepted.
- Alien Among Us: The object of the story. A Martian spy is hiding amongst of group of ordinary people in a diner, and two policemen have to find them. The Tomato Surprise ending reveals that not only was Ross the Martian all along, there was another alien among them the entire time: Haley the cook, who is a Venusian.
- Aliens Are Bastards: Martians and Venusians are shown to be rivaling Imperialists who seek to wipe out all other races to expand their empires, including each other.
- Alien Invasion: Ross was sent ahead as a scout for the Martians so they could turn the Earth into one of their colonies. The big twist is when Haley reveals himself to be a Venusian, who informs Ross that his people have already beaten the Martians to the punch. An alien colony is happening on Earth, but it's from Venus.
- Aliens Steal Cable: The officers question the passengers on recent events in United States history to determine if they're human. Avery immediately lampshades what they're doing and jokes that it won't matter, as the aliens are likely using technology to spy on Earth's radio and television transmissions.
- Arbitrary Skepticism: Ross the businessman, who finds the idea of a Martian among the bus passengers ridiculous, even when strange things begin happening in the diner. In the end, it's revealed that Ross himself is the Martian, and he caused the strange happenings to throw away suspicion.
- Beneath Suspicion: Ethel points out that the married couples can be taken off the suspect list, as there's only one extra passenger in the room. Unfortunately, both couples begin to believe that their respective spouses have been replaced by the Martian.
- On a more narrative level, Ethel herself is the only member of the group who is never treated as a genuine lead for the Martian, as she's the most cooperative with the cops, takes their investigation completely seriously, and tries to use logic to rule people out. Olmstead the bus driver also offers her an alibi when he remarks that, while he didn't pay enough attention to the passengers as they boarded, he definitely noticed her.
- Bizarre Alien Biology: Ross, the Martian, has a third arm. Haley, a Venusian, has a third eye on his forehead.
- Bottle Episode: Except for two scenes, this episode takes place entirely in the Hi-Way Café.
- The Butler Did It: Subverted. Ross, one of the people from the bus, was the Martian all along. Unfortunately for him, Haley, the cook who served them all and remained very much in the background throughout the story, was also a being from another planet, and was two steps ahead of Ross the whole time.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Avery. He may or may not be the alien, but he's definitely the most manic and eccentric among the group.
- Comic-Book Adaptation: This episode was adapted as a graphic novel by Walker Paperback in 2009.
- Creepy Red Herring: Avery is the most suspicious member of the group, and he seems to be deliberately goading everyone by making off-color jokes and bringing up science-fiction tropes in conversation. He also has wild eyes, an unhinged voice, and a generally unsettling demeanor. He's not the alien, just a troll who enjoys teasing people.
- The Cuckoo Lander Was Right: Avery is the one who hints that Ross is the Martian. He was right.
- Didn't See That Coming: As the official episode book of the show nicely puts it: "The real Martian has stood up...only to have the rug pulled out from under him."
- Dirty Old Man: Avery hits on Ethel when she reveals that she's a professional dancer.Avery: How many legs?Ethel: I'm gonna belt you, Grandpa.
- The Dog Was the Mastermind: Haley the cook, who was quite literally in the background for most of the episode, turns out to be an alien himself. It's used in a literal sense in the short story the episode was adapted from, as the Martian turned out to be the dog that the diner's owner was keeping as a pet, but the writers decided to play fairer with the audience and used a second alien as the twist instead.
- Discussed early in the episode by Avery, who points out that Olmstead, the bus driver, could be the Martian. None of the passengers acknowledged him as they boarded, so it's just as likely that he wasn't there at all.
- Downer Ending: All the characters barring Ross and Haley plunge to their deaths in a freezing river. Meanwhile, humans and Martians are being wiped out into extinction by the Venusians, who want to take over their respective worlds and turn them into new colonies.
- Driving Question: Six passengers got on the bus, but seven entered the diner. The episode is spent with them and the troopers trying to figure out who the Martian is.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Or dropped them off a bridge in this case. After the guests and the troopers leave the diner, the bridge on the road up ahead collapses, dropping all of them into the freezing river. The only survivor is Ross, who mysteriously survives to tell the tale- because he really is a Martian.
- Dude, Not Funny!: Avery asks if bus driver Olmstead was replaced by an alien. The guy laughs for a bit until he frowns.
- Evil Versus Evil: Haley vs. Ross, representing Mars vs. Venus. Venus wins in the end.
- Evil Laugh: Haley breaks out into maniacal laughter once he reveals how he sprung his trap on Ross.
- Failed a Spot Check: The troopers, who don't give the people in the diner physical examinations to ensure they're all human.
- Fair Play Whodunit: It's possible to deduce who the Martian is if you follow the clues and ignore the Red Herring.
- Foreshadowing:
- Avery singles out Ross as the "most suspicious of the bunch", and asks him if he has an eye on the back of his head. Haley himself turns out to have a third eye, albeit in the middle of his forehead. He even tells the state troopers to "check under their coats" for wings. Had they done so, they would have discovered Ross had a third arm.
- Olmstead the bus driver expresses concern that the bridge on the road up ahead is very weak and prone to collapsing.
- He Knows Too Much: Ross has the troopers and bus passengers killed since they know about the presence of a Martian on Earth. Too bad he never accounted for Haley also being an alien.
- Human Aliens: How Ross is able to blend in with the group. He looks just like the humans, aside from his third arm. Haley qualifies as well, being a Venusian with a third eye that he conveniently covers with his hat.
- Humans Are Morons: The aliens easily succeeded in making the humans kill themselves like lemmings with misinformation and illusory tricks.
- It's a Small World, After All: A Martian comes to Earth and finds himself stuck in a diner owned by an undercover Venusian.
- Killed Offscreen: The state troopers and the bus passengers are killed when the bridge collapses, dropping their vehicles into the freezing river. Ross is the only one who survives.
- Klingons Love Shakespeare: Ross thinks that cigarettes taste wonderful, especially since they don't have anything like them on Mars. It also seems that Martians and Venusians both enjoy human music.
- Language Equals Thought: Implied by Ross, shortly before revealing he's a Martian. After revealing that the bus and police car crashed into the river and only he got out, Haley asks Ross why his clothes aren't wet. Ross doesn't understand what the word "wet" means.
- Late-Arrival Spoiler: TV commercials and other ads for marathons of the show often feature the Wham Shot of Haley removing his cap and revealing his third eye, giving away the episode's biggest twist.
- Let Me Get This Straight...: During the discussion between the characters, George (the older married man) says "Let me get this straight. You're trying to tell us that there's one person in here who landed in some kind of a saucer or something and then came in here?"
- Master of Illusion: Ross boasts to Haley that the weird goings on in the diner were all his doing; he also created the fake phone call that ultimately allowed him to make his escape out from under the eyes of the troopers.
- Multi-Armed and Dangerous: As a Martian, Ross has three arms, and he's responsible for the deaths of nine people.
- Ms. Fanservice: Ethel McConnell, the professional dancer.
- Oh, Crap!: Ross's expression after Haley tells him that his Martian friends aren't coming, then takes off his cap to reveal a third eye.
- Pop-Culture Pun Episode Title: The episode's title comes from the famous "Will the Real X Please Stand Up" from To Tell the Truth.
- The Reveal: Two for the price of one. Ross reveals himself to be the Martian, before Haley reveals himself to be a Venusian.
- Rewatch Bonus: Once you know that Ross is the Martian, you can keep track of him making subtle tells whenever he causes a disruption.
- Ship Tease: Olmstead and Ethel. Sadly, they fall to their deaths before a relationship develops.
- Take Me to Your Leader: Avery says this to the diner's jukebox when it spontaneously starts playing music.
- Technopath: As a Martian, Ross has the ability to control Earthly technology, turning both the jukebox and the lights in the Hi-Way Cafe off and on. He describes it as a mere parlor trick.
- Ten Little Murder Victims: A group of bus travellers gather at a diner, but one of them is an alien. It's subverted later as there actually was an alien among them, but there was also a second alien who was onto the first one the whole time.
- Tomato Surprise: When Ross returns from the bus accident to reveal himself as the Martian and gloat about his victory, "Haley" the cook springs a surprise on him (and the audience) by revealing himself to be a Venusian.
- Visible Boom Mic: During the discussion between Ross and Haley, as Haley says, "And I agree with you about what they call music," a shadow from an overhead boom mike (on Haley's hat) moves slightly.
- Wham Line: Haley drops this bombshell at the end of the episode:
Haley: I don't mind. I have to do a little waiting myself. You see, Mr. Ross, my name isn't Haley. And I do agree with you that this is an extraordinary place to colonize. We folks on Venus got the same idea.
- You Are Too Late: Ross was assigned to spy on humankind so the Martians could wipe them out and move in to colonize Earth. In the end, it turns out that Haley was given the same mission on behalf of the Venusians, who are already doing the same thing and intercepted the Martians. It is unknown what Ross's fate is, but given that he exposed himself to an enemy, it's possible that Haley will have Ross killed, much like how Ross handled the humans, the original inhabitants of planet Earth.
Rod Serling: "Incident on a small island, to be believed or disbelieved. However, if a sour-faced dandy named Ross or a big, good-natured counterman who handles a spatula as if he'd been born with one in his mouth, – if either of these two entities walk onto your premises, you'd better hold their hands – all three of them – or check the color of their eyes – all three of them. The gentlemen in question might try to pull you in – to the Twilight Zone.
