Original air date: 5/2/1999
Production code: AABF-17
When the town becomes enamored with a Richard Branson-style millionaire who goes on crazy adventures and loves everyone, Mr. Burns realizes no one in Springfield likes, much less loves, him (save for Smithers, but Mr. Burns doesn't know or even care that his assistant has a crush on him) and enlists Homer's help in changing that — which leads them to Scotland to find the Loch Ness Monster.
This was the last episode to be animated overseas by Anivision.
This episode provides examples of:
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Willie claims his parents still have the pool table on which he was conceived, born and educated.
- Bait-and-Switch:
- At the Jerry Rude and The Bathroom Bunch radio show, Homer tells Burns that if he's unsure what to say while on the air, he can go over his list of the differences between Black and White people. You think it's going to be offensive, but Homer himself is later seen talking to two lesbian gladiators about how White people have names like "Lenny" and Black people have names like "Carl" (to which they don't care and walk away).
- When the photographers begin snapping pictures of The Loch Ness Monster at the press conference, Burns warns them to stop as it will drive him mad. Instead Nessie loves the attention while Burns is the one who goes nuts.
- At the mall, Otto is listening to music at a listening station, saying "New music? Man, all these bands are just ripping off Judas Priest.". But once he talks off the listening station's headphones, we see that Otto was still wearing his own headphones, listening to Judas Priest's "Living After Midnight" on his Walkman.
- Be Yourself: Homer provides a spoof of this moral for Burns.
- Conjoined Twins: Mr. Burns gets on Jerry Rude's radio show right after the host had interviewed a short pair of conjoined twins named Knickknack and Paddywack.
- Couch Gag: The family forms a chorus line joined by Vegas dancers and animals.
- Deranged Animation: When Mr. Burns's vision gets screwed up by the incessant flash photography, the crowd looks like blobs to him.
- Easily Impressed:Homer: Oh, Arthur Fortune. (sighs happily) You know what that fabulous man just did? He gave the Springfield Zoo two male pandas and got them to mate successfully.
Mr. Burns: And a stunt like that impresses people?
Homer: Oh, yeah. And I'm not easily impressed. Wow! A blue car! - Even the Guys Want Him: Combined with a short Running Gag. Homer's admiration of Arthur Fortune looks like he's romantically fawning over him.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Burns can't understand why Arthur Fortune is nice to everyone, calling him totally insane and saying he has no idea how to behave like a billionaire because he doesn't act down to anyone else like he (Burns) does.
- Fan Disservice: Homer wears a kilt the traditional way...much to the displeasure of the bystanders.
- Gentle Giant: Despite first appearing as frightening and destroying a float shaped in its image, Nessie is proven to be quite friendly towards humans, remaing calm when being photographed by a large audience (which it loves) and when Burns destroys its tank. It even affectionately nuzzles Homer.
- Gross-Up Close-Up: When Lisa suggests Mr. Burns get his face out there, it briefly cuts to a close-up of Mr. Burns's unflattering mug. She tweaks her suggestion: "...on the radio!"
- Have a Gay Old Time: Mr. Burns' story of his first gay experience leads to
Accidental Innuendo because he doesn't understand that gay doesn't mean happy anymore (unless it's for literary/ironic purposes). For instance, he recalls his father taking him to a picnic when he was a child, saying "That was a gay old time. I ate my share of wieners that day!" - High-Pressure Blood: Mr. Burns throws coins out a window in an attempt to get people to like him; it backfires when one of the coins hits Lenny in the forehead, which gushes whenever the coin is removed.Lenny: (to a passing woman) Afternoon, miss. (removes coin like he's taking off a hat)
- Hypocritical Humor: Mr. Burns laments that people don't like him; when Smithers says that he likes him, Burns just snaps "are you still here?".
- I'm Standing Right Here: While looking around the Fortune Megastore, Marge says it's so much nicer than the Kwik-E-Mart. Unfortunately, Apu was standing close by and tears up hearing her say that.
- Kick the Dog:
- Despite spending the episode trying get people to like him, Mr. Burns gets a few in, such as shocking people with a cattle prod to shove his way through a crowd, kidnapping Professor Frink, and flooding a village by draining Loch Ness.
- Arthur Fortune's idea of knocking out Muhammad Ali is to ring Ali's doorbell, then punch him out as soon as he opens the door.
- Let's Get Dangerous!: Mr. Burns towards the Monster of Loch Ness. He rolls up his sleeves and catches it off screen.
- Logo Joke: This was one of the episodes that repeated characters' lines for the Gracie Films logo.Lisa: Ooh, I hear this really sucks!
- Major Injury Underreaction: Downplayed; Lenny initially panics at getting a silver dollar embedded in his forehead, and especially at having it removed, but as soon as it's put back in, his first suggestion is "let's go bowling".
- Mercy Kill: Played for Laughs. Bart insists Homer to do so, that he doesn't need to participate in the family shopping trip.
- Mistaken for Flatulence: Mr. Burns goes on a Howard Stern-like radio talk show to improve his image, and the host plays fart noises while he speaks.Mr. Burns: Stop that! Attention wireless listeners, most of the sounds you are now hearing are not being made by me! Oh stop! Stop! Won't someone please stop the farting!
- No Celebrities Were Harmed:
- Jerry Rude is a clear parody of Howard Stern (and is voiced by former Saturday Night Live cast member Michael McKean, who actually played Howard Stern in a couple of sketches).
- Arthur Fortune is inspired by Richard Branson.
Word of God even said that Branson would have been a perfect guest star in the episode.
- Noodle Incident: Mr. Burns capture of the Loch Ness Monster. It involved him somehow being swallowed and passed through the monster's body.Mr. Burns: But, you know the rest.
- Comic Book Guy once had his underwear caught in a cow-catcher before it happened with Mr. Burns' car's cow-catcher.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Somehow, Mr. Burns, who's at least six decades older than Homer, Willie, and Professor Frink, captures the legendary sea monster without a single scratch.
- Old Shame: In-universe, Kevin Costner profusely apologies for The Postman on the DVD Commentary.
- Psychotic Smirk: Burns pulls one while watching Kent Brockman praise Arthur Fortune on the news. Lampshaded when Kent describes him as a welcome change from the usual billionaire, who wears "a superior smirk on his greedy, soulless face."
- Rhetorical Question Blunder: When Mr. Burns rhetorically asks "what am I paying you people for", Homer replies "to work in your power plant", Groundskeeper Willie points out that Burns isn't paying him anything, and Frink reminds Burns that they kidnapped him.
- Series Continuity Error: In "I Love Lisa," Groundskeeper Willie says his "old man" (father) was hung for stealing a pig, and in "Who Shot Mr. Burns, Part 1" mentions his corpse was thrown in a bog, but this episode shows that his father is still alive (unless his biological father was a twin or his father somehow survived getting hanged and buried).
- Shout-Out: The episode title is in reference to The Beatles' hit "Can't Buy Me Love". Also, Kent Brockman's announcement of "And yes, girls: he's available" is this to a caption of John Lennon during their performance on The Ed Sullivan Show that said "Sorry, girls: he's married".
- Shown Their Work: The Loch Ness Monster has been reported to have been seen on land, which is arbituary to this episode's portrayal of it as semi-aquatic and moving on land like a sea lion.
- Spoof Aesop: Homer offers an unusual version of the Be Yourself aesop.Homer: To be loved, you have to be nice to people. Every day. But to be hated, you don't have to do squat!
- Static Stun Gun: Mr. Burns uses a cattle prod on numerous people at the mall, including Ned Flanders.Burns: (to a passed-out Ned) That's a good lad.
- The Stoic: Willie and his family, along with every other Scot in this episode.
- The Television Talks Back: As Lisa watches The Postman with the director's commentary on, she says, "Poor Kevin Costner, he tries so hard," which prompts the response of "Aw, thanks, you're sweet to say that," revealing that he was standing in the TV the whole time, also asking if she can get him a sandwich (no crust).
- Toilet Humour: Jerry Rude asks Mr. Burns how often he goes to the can. He also repeatedly adds fart noises while Burns is talking. When Burns passes out:Jerry: Don't worry, folks, he's not dead. I still hear some faint sounds of life. (more fart noises)
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Smithers listens to Burns' tirade about Arthur Fortune in his mansion around the ten-minute mark and then isn't seen for the remainder of the episode. Arthur Fortune is also never seen again after he first appears.
- White Dude, Black Dude: Homer's joke suggestion is a variation of this.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: Mr. Burns thinks all the camera flashes will send the monster into a rage, like in King Kong, but it turns out Nessie is actually quite camera-friendly and enjoys the attention.
- Your Size May Vary: When they first find the Loch Ness monster, it's several stories high. By the end of the episode it isn't much taller than a man.
- Your Television Hates You: As Mr. Burns is watching a newscast on Arthur Fortune:Kent Brockman: This new breed of fun-loving billionaire is a welcome change from the classic joyless miser, brooding in his cavernous mansion, grasping a glass of brandy with his thin, clawlike fingers and a superior smirk on his greedy, soulless face.
